I want it. No I don't.

[Aunt Kelly]

Rule number one in fantasy "scenes", is that all players understand the game and agree to the "rules". What you did was more akin to forcing a cross-dresser out of the closet, for real. I know that you meant well, and bless your understanding and supportive heart for that, but you must understand that you took control away from someone who had not agreed to give it. It might have gone differently if you had made it "safe" for your partner, by dropping clues about what you intended. Nothing to give away the delicious details, but enough to make it clear that you were going to be in control for a time. With that understanding, he might have ceded that control gratefully. As it was, and with his predisposing state, he probably felt trapped, betrayed, out of control.
So talk. Start with an abject apology about your mistake and the grief it caused. If he's any sort of decent human, he'll recognize that it was just a well-meant mistake. From there, it sounds like it's time for some sharing and understanding.

Good luck to you, my dear.

[Littleg2]

First of all, I want to thank you all for your comment so far. I guess I was looking for some insight to see if this type of thing had happened to any of you with your SO and how to best navigate it.

Second, and I can't stress this enough... I was only playing out what Monnica had sent me in an email that she wanted to do with me/have me do for/to her.

I did not hide ALL her male clothing. After M told me that HE wasn't having the best day, I laid out some comfortable pants (men's) socks, a hanes tank top and men's T-shirt. I did put out a matching bra and panty set if she chose to put them on underneath, but I did NOT want to force her at this point, because of how I knew HE was feeling from the long day.

I was super confused to the point I was crying because I felt I was doing EXACTLY what she wanted and detailed in the email. I felt terrible for overwhelming her. Awful. I thought he was going to leave and quite possibly never come back. It went bad, fast. And out of control faster. He didn't yell or get angry, but extremely frustrated, and the more M looked for male things and kept opening up drawers of female things, I could feel M getting even more anxious; like a cat in a cage.

We talked about it a great deal that night, shared our feelings, M did not leave. I switched everything back as quickly as I could so we could just reverse, forget and move on.

Third, as for M and the depression. M does take antidepressants, has talked to a counselor, but also suffers from SAD (Seasonal Depression Disorder), and the more fluctuations in temperatures in the Spring and Fall, the harder it is for M to control. I hope you all get that.

I misread the moment. It was not the right time. So we came up with a code word that night to use at any time, a "safe" word, if you will, that will cancel out any previous messages or plans and we will just take it easy and try things again another day. I am trying. And so is M.

I just wanted to see if this is something that seems to be out there, and it does, so thank you for replying and for the continued positivity and support.

-g

[Jenny22]

Little Leg, there's a very bright light for you and M at the end of the shared tunnel. Disorders and negatives aside, he should cherish you to the max.

[Becky Blue]

Gina, what you did for Monnica was one of the nicest things any of us 'T' people could ever wish for from their partners. I think given Monnica was having a bad day with her depression possibly you did an amazing thing on the wrong day! I don't agree with others above that you scared her as by emailing you her fantasy she did hope it would become a reality.

[Sallee]

I guess you both found out that a fantasy is just that and reality can be totaly different. We all have them and when ever I have tried to act mine out it wasn't what I expected. It may have been fun but there was some mental anguish during and after. At least it got the fantasy out of my system and I don't need to go there any more
Best of luck to both of you