Yeah, Sherry gets it. Here's a quote from another post where I warned about the intoxication of disclosure. (The desire is the acceptance feedback which may or may not be genuine.)
I've found out recently that we seem to attract to the feedback of amazement when we disclose our true gender position.
I've come to understand that, in general, society is about 20-30 years behind the gender expression acceptance curve.
Sounds like you've moved an established relationship into DADT which also has varying degrees. Take it slow and with caution.