With the advent of the Internet, it has become pretty easy for anyone to publish just about anything and claim it as fact. I think the article referenced is pretty much a bunch of crap and should not be taken seriously. Most of us should have enough life experience to be able to look around us and separate reality from fantasy.
Krisi
Ah...The old "Fake News!" trope. Care to elaborate as to what caused you to come to this conclusion, which is decidedly different from that of most of the other posters here?Originally Posted by Krisi
Oh come on now. This isn't that complicated, and we've gone over this all many times before. Women are generally sexually turned off by femininity in a male; don't believe me? How many women go out and buy their male mate a frilly nitegown? Virtually zero.
So it's in men's best interest to avoid any feminine accoutrements or behavior like the plague if he wishes to be sexually desirable to females. Sure, YOU might find ONE woman out of ten million that will accept her man being 'girly'. But it's not common at all.
It depends upon whether wearing a dress will be of some type of benefit to the woman. Go out to a nightclub and nearly all the women are wearing dresses or skirts.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 04-24-2018 at 11:34 AM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Lexi,
I don't totally agree , we estimate about 25% of the wives / partners attend our social groups , all are happy to help the Cders out everyone I've spoken to are OK with the home life in this situation. So if that's an average throughout the CDing groups that is a considerable figure of acceptance .
Stacy ,
I'm sorry you feel like that , I feel it's more in your head than the reality of what society thinks, I've certainly found that in the UK . Most of the fears of stepping out the door are just melting away . That's why I'm annoyed with much of the text in the article it's dated and biased and appears to come from the pen of someone who lives in a very biased society . It had to be in our hands to try and change this bigoted attitude , why should men have to accept this dreadful straightjacket ? I've never read so much bunk as to believe a man who dresses in a dress goes from the top of the social heap to join the rejects at the bottom . I've dressed all my life, OK mostly in the closet but it didn't stop me running my business and raising kids , I know for a fact that applies to many others here on the forum , we are not social outcasts and the sooner we put that message across the better .
Last edited by Teresa; 04-24-2018 at 01:29 PM.
Interesting observation in the article on the view (wrong in my opinion) that 'real men aren't feminine'. I disagree, I'm widely considered an alpha male, former lumberjack, current biker, married father of three beautifully adjusted adult children, straight, but I have a feminine side, too. I love a mini skirt (on me, in private, on a pretty woman in public), much prefer knickers to pants (yep, British) and adore a neglige in private - for me and them. How's that handing over power?
Last edited by Susan Smith; 04-28-2018 at 01:53 PM. Reason: Typo
Sorry my academic mind wouldn’t let me get through the article. It’s started with a supposition based on anecdotal evidence, then casts about for reasoning behind a fact that has not been established.
Former lumberjack?
OMG! I don't suppose YOU were the one the Pythons based their famous song on?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZa26_esLBE
Nah! Couldn't be...
All I can say is that the last time my wife blasted me about my crossdressing, her attire looked completely masculine. Just because a shirt buttons on the female side does not make it feminine.
I figured pointing out the irony would just be digging my gave deeper...
Susan , that's the crux of most society's view women and be feminine or masculine and a combination, but men cannot. I may be wrong but by far the most physical,emotional and spiritual abuse is heaped on men who are perceived as feminine at all.
Peer pressure mostly.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Peer pressure implies that men would like to wear dresses and/or skirts as a matter of course. They don't.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
Good point, Lexi, but funny how it doesn't seem to work the other way...
As we all know, men are highly visual creatures, and are typically attracted to a female first and foremost by their physical appearance and to what degree that conforms to their particular vision of the "ideal woman". It is hard-wired into our brains and the way biology and 100,000+ years of evolution have shaped us. When was the last time you heard a guy exclaim - upon first setting eyes upon a gorgeous woman - "Wow, I bet there is a fine, highly intelligent mind, a wonderful, agreeable personality, and a great sense of humor lurking beneath that smokin' hot body!"? Right!
It's also the reason why porn, strip clubs, burlesque shows, "girly" magazines, and the sex trade exist.
Think about it - how many "real" men are visually turned on by women in sweats, jogging pants, track suits, leggings, jeggings, hair lazily done up in ponytails and hidden under a ball cap, and wearing runners, flip-flops, Birkenstocks, or the like. Not too many, I'd wager.
And you know what? Most women don't seem to give a rat's @ss about that, since that manner of dressing has become the norm for them. Yet somehow, they get away with it, whereas for men the corresponding bar for maintaining a "masculine" image (and I'm not just talking about the clothes) is so much higher in order to remain attractive to them.
Go figure.
You're using a subset of women who stayed with their partner once knowing that he's a crossdresser, and were willing to go with him to support groups as an example of what percentage of women in the general population who will accept a crossdresser as a mate? That's perhaps the greatest stretch that I've ever heard of.
Then again, I don't live in the UK. Perhaps you have a huge percentage of women over there that LOVE men who crossdress. But we don't have that situation here in the U.S..
It would depend upon why we dress; for each, it's different. It's not 'fun' nor 'thrillling' for me to wear woman's clothing. It just feels normal, where as wearing men's clothes does not.
The example I usually use is, suppose you're at a formal event. Everyone else in the place is wearing tuxedos or evening gowns, but you're in a bathing suit. Do you feel just a bit uncomfortable? probably, and it won't matter if that bathing suit is gender appropriate or not.
That's how I feel when dressed as a male; there's always that constant feeling that I'm not wearing what I'm supposed to. When I'm dressed as a girl, I feel normal. What's more, I know why I feel this way. Sure, it took me decades to figure it all out, and of course, I wasn't happy with what I found out. But at least the confusion and (most of) the guilt about doing it was gone.
I don't think it's unusual at all. There are usually good reasons why we do things, and if we spend enough time, we can figure it out. One of the biggest problems that we have here, is that most men would be horrified to find out that they have any homosexual desires. It's not their fault; we were all raised to believe that any man who has sexual feelings for anything other than completely straight sex, is a terrible person. Doesn't even matter if we learn it's not true. There's often always a lingering feeling of guilt because it was drummed into our heads so very much when we were growing up.
I firmly believe that straight men get at least a little pleasure in just looking at a sexually attractive female; it keeps our attention focused on her despite any distractions, and makes it more likely that we will go after her and try to have sex with her. The urge to reproduce overpowers almost anything for us. Get a man close to orgasm and he will continue having intercourse to completion even as he hears a woman's husband pulling into the driveway.It's also the reason why porn, strip clubs, burlesque shows, "girly" magazines, and the sex trade exist.
If they accentuate the female form, or signal to us somehow that she is fertile (young, 70% waist hip ratio, clear skin, healthy hair) yes, we'll be interested. Yoga pants are considered sort of exercise wear by women. But the fact that they accentuate the female shape is what does it for us. Well, that and the fact they reveal every 'nook and cranny' of her body, too.Think about it - how many "real" men are visually turned on by women in sweats, jogging pants, track suits, leggings, jeggings, hair lazily done up in ponytails and hidden under a ball cap, and wearing runners, flip-flops, Birkenstocks, or the like. Not too many, I'd wager.
Because at our core, what we care about most, is getting to have sex with her. For >99.9999% of our existance in history, men increase their likelyhood of passing along our dna by the sheer number of women we have sex with. We might care about anything else after the sex act is over, or, after she gets pregnant. We're hard wired to remain interested in a woman for just long enough to get her pregnant, her to have the kid, and that kid to get up on it's feet. This is most likely why there's a cutoff of approximately 30 months when people start to see their mate for who they truly are. Up until then, we often happily ignore any faults that they have, as we remain in a horny fog. We also start to lose interest in THAT woman, and start to find others more attractive, over time. So the seven year itch is also a very real phenomenon. Another interesting fact is that men tend to think of women as they were when we first met them, rather than how they appear later, which is why we stay with them as they age. It's not uncommon at all for a man to not know exactly how his wife looked or dressed should she be out of his sight, should she disappear, whereas women know exactly what their husband was wearing, how his hair was combed, etc.. None of this is my original thinking, all compliments of the hundreds of psychology books I've read over the years.And you know what? Most women don't seem to give a rat's @ss about that, since that manner of dressing has become the norm for them. Yet somehow, they get away with it
Women have higher expectations for their mates, because it's more important for the survival of their offspring. It's been said that women are thinking long term whenever they look for a mate; they want alpha male genes for their child. This is reinforced by a study that found women have a slight preference for alpha males when they are ovulating, and beta males that might make good fathers, when they're not. It's not definitive, but there's some truth to it. Next time you strike out with a woman, wait two weeks and try again. We don't know if this is due to women finding a man who is persistant more attractive than one who is not (displaying an aggressive drive to succeed) but there definitely is something to that line of thinking. More studies need to be done, and, I find it interesting that this technique works more often than I would have thought.whereas for men the corresponding bar for maintaining a "masculine" image (and I'm not just talking about the clothes) is so much higher in order to remain attractive to them.
Ahhhhh, the fascination of the female mind!Go figure.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 04-29-2018 at 04:01 PM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
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