I guess it really depends upon how much one knows about why they crossdress. At first, I thought maybe I was gay. Then I thought perhaps transsexual. But it didn't quite fit; I thought I was supposed to be a girl, but there were little things that indicated otherwise. It took a long time to figure it out, I grew up way back when in the sixties, before any of this gender stuff was being talked about anywhere.Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
For years, I thought I was supposed to be a girl. So, I planned out my life, thinking that god would eventually fix his mistake, and I would resume my girl life after that.
Problem: I wasn't a girl. Nor was my mindset that of a girl, either. And that is what tells me that I won't ever progress or transition. I don't think like a girl does, see the world like a girl does, or communicate like a girl does. I have no desire to nest, no desire to talk endlessly about nothing in particular, no fascination about other people's relationships, no desire or interest in men or getting married. I don't particularly like kids, and find infants irritating. I can go for days, even weeks with no other human contact, and not feel like I'm missing anything. I can go for years between seeing friends and not feel like they're giving me the silent treatment. I speak in direct language, not indirect.
I'm a male. The problems that I have due to the gender mix up from my youth that could be solved by transitioning, would simply be replaced by other problems that would be caused by it, as being a post op MTF would not create a suitable life. The life that I thought I was supposed to have, wasn't ever a real possibility.
As I don't suffer from a huge amount of gender dysphoria, all I will ever be, is a crossdresser.
I do feel sorry for all of those who do suffer from it, as there have been a few times in my life when I really did think that I was really a girl stuck in a boy's body. Luckily for me, I was able to figure it all out. Today, there is help for those who can't do it on their own.
