Fear of losing my career keeps me from transitioning

[KymberlyOct]

I was actually going to start a thread titled 'before it's too late' but instead I will just add to this thread. This is a very worthwhile topic and we have a wide variety of opinions.
None of our opinions is right or wrong for everyone else. The reason I am still on this site is hopefully to pay it forward because some of the people that used to be here really helped me. My opinions won't be right for everyone but maybe for some.

That long disclaimer out of the way :-D

I wish I had done this 30 years ago. Did I wait too long? Well yes in some ways. SRS is probably a no for me so I only got an orchie instead. Extensive FFS is a no and maybe none at all.
Why - I have serious heart issues that I didn't have 15 years ago, I'm high risk for surgery. And there is the money issue as well. I used to have money - now I don't.

On the glass half full side at least I transitioned while I was still young enough - active enough - and have some years left (hopefully) to enjoy it. I remember someone that used to be on this site that was in their 70s but is not here anymore. They had decided it was too late for them. I guess at some point it eventually is but when that is I don't know.

But most importantly ALL THOSE WASTED YEARS !! UGH. I could have enjoyed so much more of my life if I had the courage to do this years ago. And I would have had vaginoplasty instead of just an orchie. And I would have had FFS instead of just Botox injections. Luckily I still have a lot of hair at 58 years old but not many do at my age.

Worrying about career, money social life. What's the point if you are not living the life you want to?

I often read comments - "don't transition unless you have to" OK where's the line on 'have to' ? Being suicidal? Or just doing self harm? Or just depressed? Or just melancholy? What is 'have to'? I felt this way since I was 5 years old. Could I have made it to my death without transitioning? Yeah I guess. My dysphoria was not that extreme that I would have committed suicide but why should I live unhappily? Did transitioning fix all of my life problems? Not even close. But it made me happier than I was. Isn't that the point?

If your career or money is more important than living as the gender that you truly believe you are then that's OK. I really mean that. Not everybody should transition. There are many more people on this site in the CD forum not to mention the NB forum. If they are there because they actually feel that way then great. If they are there because of FEAR then that is very sad.

WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE DON'T MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON FEAR. In my not so humble opinion ( just this one time lol ) Making decisions due to fear is something you will always regret. Again - not everyone should transition - just make sure you are doing the right soul searching when coming to that decision.

My time on the soapbox is up.

PS I slipped back on the soapbox for one last thought. After posting this I went on the CD forum just to sneak a peek out of curiosity. OMG I felt like I was on a different planet. That is no criticism of anyone there whatsoever - I just read a couple of posts and thought - I can't even relate to this.

Find Out Who You Are - whoever that may be.