I've always have had my crossdressing linked to my sexuality.. At 18 years old it got to another level when I met my first "DADDY". Being a shy person I always got hit on by girls even kissed and talked dirty but never went further than that. Well when I met my first "DADDY" On a Yahoo chat room it went a little different.. We chatted pretty heavily about fantasies that included us both together but sooner than later he was ordering things for me to wear and setting up a date for the first meet up. Unlike with girls I was excited and eager to be with him sexually right there and then.. Long story short at 18 I lost my virginity to this man I called DADDY and had no regrets about it.. Shortly after that experience I actually became more confident with girls and had sex with them as much as possible which was a lot.. Not showing off by the way it was true.. Anyways years have passed and I'm married now with kids and no lie am happy with where I am and where it can go but the craving for other things (being with men while dressed) just don't go away and I'm not fighting to let them go either. I've spoken to my wife about it so she knows.. Is she happy with it? No. Does she want any part of it? No. Am I considering going behind her back to fulfill these urge? Well.......... LOL let's just say it's hard to deal with.. So with that said.. Does anyone else deal with this?