Crude comments from a man

[Lydianne]

Guys of this type need to be removed from the Earth.

1. I once got called "tramp". I caught it on video. You should not take his comments as a compliment. We can't desire the equality with women to wear their clothing and then turn into guys when this stuff happens. Inconsistency will lose us support. You need to dismiss his comments with the same disdain as if he has said them to a woman... i.e. a slur on her fidelity.

2. We all know what should happen, and we all know what does happen. This knowledge does not infringe on your freedom to make any choice you wish. I would think your personal safety is more valuable than your valuables. I am in no doubt that you keep your valuables airtight...
I understand that sometimes we want to wear something special. When that's the case, then there is the option to adjust venue and accompaniment to compensate and reduce risk.

It would be so nice if we could eliminate the risks, but that remains a hope.

- Lydianne.

[GaleWarning]

Lydianne, you speak much sense on a thread fraught with hysteria.
Well done.

[Stephanie47]

Not too long ago I watched a video of a young woman walking down a city street. She was minding her own business. She was not dressed provocatively. Her companion walked in front of her with a hidden camera recording the insulting comments of a sexual nature for quite a long time. She was nice looking. This is the life a woman endures in our society.

If you think this just happens to women, it also happens to guys. Maybe not as much and not as brazen. When I was twenty-four and just out of army I was at my military weight (175 pounds) at six foot two. I was traveling on the #7 IRT Flushing line to a job interview in a suit. Minding my own business. I guy came up to me and offered a sexual service." Only in New York! Another time a guy made an advance unseen by me on the same train line, but, this time I was accompanying with my eight month pregnant wife. It was obvious my wife and I were to together. Rude and crude is all over. My wife endured the same the OP did many times in her late teens and early twenties. Totally unsolicited sexual comments while minding her own business in mid town Manhattan.

[Charlotte7]

Lydianne (#30), yes, that's what I wanted to say, particularly your point 1, which is lost on very many peope here.

[Jean 103]

If you think this just happens to women, it also happens to guys.

Yes it happens to me in guy mode too. I have been propositioned by men and women it guy mode too. Wearing a t-shirt and jeans. None of them were drinking beer. Some people? It is just part of life.

You can do as I do and ignore these people. If not possible like a customer I simply say I'm married. I had one women then say I am too. I didn't say anything else.

You could do like my oldest daughter. She would have torn him a new one. Her mouth is completely uncensored. She will tell you exactly what she thinks. She will even cross the street like if some guy from a construction site whistles. Really you do not want this crazy redhead in your face.

[Amelie]

Not too long ago I watched a video of a young woman walking down a city street. She was minding her own business. She was not dressed provocatively. Her companion walked in front of her with a hidden camera recording the insulting comments of a sexual nature for quite a long time. She was nice looking. This is the life a woman endures in our society.

If you think this just happens to women, it also happens to guys. Maybe not as much and not as brazen. When I was twenty-four and just out of army I was at my military weight (175 pounds) at six foot two. I was traveling on the #7 IRT Flushing line to a job interview in a suit. Minding my own business. I guy came up to me and offered a sexual service." Only in New York! Another time a guy made an advance unseen by me on the same train line, but, this time I was accompanying with my eight month pregnant wife. It was obvious my wife and I were to together. Rude and crude is all over. My wife endured the same the OP did many times in her late teens and early twenties. Totally unsolicited sexual comments while minding her own business in mid town Manhattan.

I know that train. Took it many times from Jackson Heights to the city. I had a guy sitting across from me on that train doing something I can't write here cause it would get deleted. As long as he stayed in his seat I didn't care.

I can't tell you how many times I run or have run into these situations. It happens almost every time I go out and it's not a nice feeling. In NYC guys always come up to me with crude remarks and it doesn't matter what I am wearing. Even as a youngster guys said the same stuff to me. Bad men are bad men, it doesn't matter how one looks and dresses they are bad men.

There were times at night in NYC when I turned a corner and down the block a bit was a bunch of guys coming my way. I would turn around and walk the other way. If they yelled at me I would jump into a cab and take it for a few blocks, pay him and get out and continue walking home. There were times when I was off guard and a guy managed to follow me to my building vestibule. I wouldn't open the door with my key, I would ring my own bell knowing there would be no answer and walk away and come back later on.

You got to learn how to handle yourself in these situations. The word I use is street smarts. Sometimes it happens so much you get a "spidey" sense that it's going to happen when you see a stranger coming up to you. You can feel a bad situation before it gets to you. That's why some women cross the street when they see someone they don't trust standing up the street.

[Crissy 107]

Amelie, You nailed this, I could not agree more. Good post!

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I know that train. Took it many times from Jackson Heights to the city. I had a guy sitting across from me on that train doing something I can't write here cause it would get deleted. As long as he stayed in his seat I didn't care.

I can't tell you how many times I run or have run into these situations. It happens almost every time I go out and it's not a nice feeling. In NYC guys always come up to me with crude remarks and it doesn't matter what I am wearing. Even as a youngster guys said the same stuff to me. Bad men are bad men, it doesn't matter how one looks and dresses they are bad men.

There were times at night in NYC when I turned a corner and down the block a bit was a bunch of guys coming my way. I would turn around and walk the other way. If they yelled at me I would jump into a cab and take it for a few blocks, pay him and get out and continue walking home. There were times when I was off guard and a guy managed to follow me to my building vestibule. I wouldn't open the door with my key, I would ring my own bell knowing there would be no answer and walk away and come back later on.

You got to learn how to handle yourself in these situations. The word I use is street smarts. Sometimes it happens so much you get a "spidey" sense that it's going to happen when you see a stranger coming up to you. You can feel a bad situation before it gets to you. That's why some women cross the street when they see someone they don't trust standing up the street.

I would admire a little attention occasionally, but not like that! I am so glad I do not live in that city! Asweet smile, a little flirt, even a suggestive wink would make me a happy girl, but not actions and words like that! I want to have a happy, feminine experience!
Roxanne Lanyon