Our son came over today and the three of us headed to the movies. (he 'knows' and is fine with everything, often sees me in some sort of un-made-up casual fem mode of dress). We drove over to the movie house, me TOTALLY NOT in any fem clothing, not even underdressing, laughed the whole way about this or that, and herself and I feeling cutesy/romantic with each other (sickening our son in the process). As we handed our movie tickets over and the taker produced a receipt, my wife motioned to me and said 'you can hand it to that beautiful … man.' She stumbled. Just a bit. No one would notice in the least … but she stumbled. Her natural inclination at that moment would've been to say 'woman'.
Later on, I picked up my mom for dinner. She DOESN'T know and I see no point in troubling a woman well into her 80's about it. I don't remember the exact context, but my wife said to my mother 'don't worry, … he'll get it.' as I was about to retrieve a thing, probably gift bags or whatever. But I heard it again. A slight stumble over "he" where I sense she was about to naturally say 'she'.
Curiouser and curiouser. Down the rabbit hole we go!