If you are looking for a "one size fits all", then you are out of luck. Many of us ended up on this site to answer the questions of, why, is it an addiction, is it an obsession, compulsion, ... and the list goes on. Only you can find your own conclusion, and I would encourage you to do it with your wife. Then she will be in the loop through the whole thing, and she should gain some understanding. It is a journey of self acceptance, self discovery, and hopefully inner peace.
Your wife is attempting to understand this the only way she knows how. In her case she is thinking addiction, like cigarettes. She then thinks that if she can quit, then so can you. Easier said than done! I'm not saying whether you can quit, or not, if it were an addiction, because I don't know how many have succeeded, versus those who have failed. The point is that as long as you are getting enjoyment, fulfillment, and some inner empty spot filled, you are going to continue to do what you are currently doing. Good luck on your journey.
