Is This Screwed Up Or What?

[Penny]

Many CD's have children and are attempting to raise them with moral values
like honesty, be accountable for their actions ect. yet hide in the closet, sneeking around, lyeing and covering up minor mitakes. Is this screwed up or what? Many CD's go out in public for recognition but don't want to be identified for who they are let alone their true identity. Is this screwed up or what? Some CD's speak as if they are duel people ie. my femenine self. Is this screwed up or what? Some CD's profess to be heterosexual but have sex with man while dressed. Is this screwed up or what? Some CD's claim
to have periods or want to have babies knowing full well this is imposible!
Is this screwed up or what? Most CD's refuse that it's possible for a man to
have a need to look pretty, espesically them. But they go out a buy things that are soft to the touch, lacey things , parfume, makeup, wigs, breast forms, pretty tops, skirts, dresses, shoes (the list goes on); all things designed to make one feel pretty. They go to these lengths and are ashamed of it. Is this screwed up or what?

Thank god when I appear female, my wife calls me by my real name and my kids call me dad. Not only do I feel pretty but pretty special! I go where I want dressed as I want. Is this srewed up or what?

[Connieminiskirts]

Penny, I do agree that most of what you said is truly screwed up.

I have a grandaughter now 5 who has seen me dressed a few times, she still calls me grampa and her daddy, my stepson, calls me either dad or 'Bill'.
My wife still call me 'baby' or 'sweetie' or even her favorite nickname for me, "Poppa" when I am dressed. And thats cool with me..

As for the other things?? Yes that is screwed up!!!

[connie rotten]

It is only the twists of life in the spiraling assention to perfection in a far from perfect lifespan. Most of us are only human , and being human is what keeps us looking up in the unavoidable screwing. Those of us who claim to be more than human would need to say "screwed down." Those of us who claim to be less than human just say "screwed."

[bredalee25]

Penny you do have a few good points their but look back twenty five years ago when women didn't think they'd ever play a major role in the work force but now they do. That just shows me that things do change in all aspects of life so science could change it so a cd could have a baby or society could change and accept the cd as a part of life and we could go out dressed then and yes the cd who says i'm heterosexual in a way still is if she has sex with a man while dressed isn't that what women do have sex with men unless they're lesbians they do so while dressed she's gonna do everything like a woman including have sex with a man. Now the good points are about the lying and sneaking around to dress but not all of us have accepting families or SO's so it's neccesary to hide it from them so I don't think it's as screwed up as you think it is. ttfn

[Eugenie]

Life isn't simple...

My SO knows I x-dress but it saddens her very much, she doesn't want to see me dressed or talk about it with me or anybody else. Yet I can't stop myself from x-dressing. What should I do ? Be open and make her sad or keep hiding my "femme side" for moments when she isn't there?

With children the subject is perhaps simpler. I don't think any of us explains in details all about their sex lives of private feelings to their children.

For many of us X-dressing is one of those private parts of our life which we don't disclose, even if we don't feel guilty about them.

I thought about disclosing my x-dressing to our daughter who had just disclosed to us her homosexuality. Finaly I decided it wasn't the right thing to do. She might have thought that I had not accepted her way of life and was just trying to get even with her. This being absolutely not the case, as I love my "daughter in law" very much as she make my daughter very happy.

I may tell my daughter later on when I will feel that she won't take it badly. Actually I almost did yesterday as she told me she was going to go to the "Gay Pride in Paris", I told her that I may join her there as a father supporting his beloved daughter...

I hope this all makes some sense...

Love.

Eugenie

[sparks]

Of course it's all screwed up hon! If it wasn't we would not need this forum.

Just about everything about cding is messed up. Maybe that is the draw. The drama and the weirdness. I don't have the answers for it all I don't even have one. All i know is that I need to meld everything together so I don't go crazy.

We hide things from our children in hopes they don't become messed up as well. As much as alot of us enjoy our femme sides and dressing we have to remember all the years of confusion we went through. I mean I'm thirty-five and been dealing with since age for. Personally I felt I had a pretty good handle on things until just recently when everthing start to unravel on me.
The point is i wouldn't wish this on my child. I would like a "normal existence" for both my girl and boy. Beside why would I want to rehash everything in my noodle in a "attempt" to explain why Daddy likes to dress like Mommy.

Am I ashamed of looking pretty, maybe, Just another question to throw on the pile with all the other why's. My wife has no desire to see me dressed and I have no desire to have her see me dressed. Is that screwed up.

All this thread will do is go around and around. Is that messed up?

I think everything about cding is messed up. I like to wear a bra but have no breasts to put in them. I admire the female body so much I want to have one. If I had one I would still be attractedto women.

I'm glad you have it all figured out cause I don't have that shiney world you describe and I'm doing the best with the one I have and it's screwed up!

[btmgrl6]

Nope... A man who is dressed as a woman and has sex with another man is at the very least a bi-sexual.....
In our muind we can rationalize it in anyway we want to,in order to justify it our selves.
In my case I feel that I was truly born a female in a man's body.I am female in everything I think,feel,dress and act.To me the only difference is the plumbing. My preference is men. I don't consider myself as being gay. consider is the key word here. It's a mind set i guess. I do not have relations with men while dressed in drab (on those rare occasions) Some argue that it's not possible to
turn on and off your brain chemistry that way.....if you're gay you're gay. Maybe this too is a mind set. But it's true and it's the way I am....
As for what's screwed up and what's not. I agree with you, that some can't come out for one reason or another. I don't abide with lying and cheating..no good can come from that, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Life's a bitch,and then you die.
OOP! Sorry I miss spelled you name.
As for hiding it from our children...wtf.. Do you discuss your sex life with your children, your finances? I don't think that we need discuss our private lives with our children. If sometime they find out... well then maybe you would want to try and explain it to them... or not. Actually I don't think we are obligated to discuss our private lives with anyone,with the exception of our SO... it's really none of their business.
Iam out...I don't hide, I have no SO to worry about. I feel for those who for whatever reason are (as described) screwed-up ....lol And I would never judge them as screwed up or not screwed up because of their screwed up ot not screwed up situations......Maybe my thinking is screwed up, but hey nobody's perfect.


Steph

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Penny, maybe I dunno. Myself, everyone knows that Richard and Ericka are one and the same but that's me. Kind of like having a secret identity that's not really secret. They are okay with me both ways. Depends on your level of comfort with yourself, I guess. Ericka Kay Richards

[btmgrl6]

OOPS! Never mindd, my mistake. Just had a blonde moment...lol

Steph

[telemark44]

Penny,
I have always followed the rule to not try to judge others. It really is difficult to know what a person has experienced and how they think; how they have interpreted those experiences and how the interpretation drives their decision-making.. I certainly can identify a lot of things about people that are screwed up, regardless of their sexual choice, alleged gender, race, religion, etc.

My wife knows my choices, my children do not. However, I will come out to them when the time is right. My choice was to not to overburden their life journey with my life story. I do not think cross-dressing and gender-identity issues are very major in the scheme of things, and I do not expect any of my children to be too surprised. However, adolesence is an extemely difficult part of life. I know that I have been very welcoming of their choices and have helped them to explore all aspect of their thinking. I believe the most important thing is to take complete interest in their development during this important phase of life. Now that they are approaching adulthood, they are naturally taking more interest in my life and thinking. When I do reveal my cross-dressing habits, it will be a very natural interaction. No need to force the moment.

My biggest goal is to be there for others. I hope to make the world a more loving and welcoming place based on my experiences and sensitivity. I will leave the judgement for others.

Christine

[Tina Dixon]

Every thing is screwed up, it's just the way of life.

[sierracd6]

I hide it from my son because maybe I am screwed up....but i also feel that is a decision that when he is older and an adult, he can make it for himslf and not have to deal with something that is out of norm for this world. Life is so screwed up for kids these days, I feel I don't have to give him another thing to think or worry about now. Just my opinion

[Penny]

Hi girls, thanks for responding. While it might appear that I am judging my
sisters, a close examination of the thread reveals that I make a statement
and pose the thought provoking question. While I have never had sex with
a man nor wanted to or had a period or wanted to have a baby, most everything else was and perhaps to some degree still is my life. You know, it would be nice if all the round people fit perfectly in the round holes and all of the square people fit perfectly in the square hole but they don't. We should know that better than anyone else because we couldn't even come to fitting
in either holes. We come closer to fitting in diamond shaped holes but not
perfectly. So if nobody fits perfectly in their respective holes, how screwed
can we really be?

[TGMarla]

I'm truly glad for you. It sounds like you managed to get your life to a place where you have your zone of acceptance from others. Count those blessings, sister. Count those blessings. And yeah, it's often pretty screwed up. Just go down the list......check........check.......check......etc.

[Karren H]

Well. I raise my kids to the same moral standard I practice. I am straight. And faithful to my wife for 30 years. And haven't had sex with anyone other that her!! And don't ever plan to and btw am damn proud of my faithfulness!! And although I do keep my fem side from the kids. My wife and I feel that its for their protection not mine!! If it got out they could be subject to ridicule and humiliation extreme!! So not everyone here if moraly bankrupt. Guess I sould have been a nun. Hehehe only problem is I'm not into religion but then I've never equated morality and religion anyway! So how I dress doesn't conflict with religious beliefs or being moral.

Love Karren

[bredalee25]

Nope... A man who is dressed as a woman and has sex with another man is at the very least a bi-sexual.....
In our muind we can rationalize it in anyway we want to,in order to justify it our selves.
In my case I feel that I was truly born a female in a man's body.I am female in everything I think,feel,dress and act.To me the only difference is the plumbing. My preference is men. I don't consider myself as being gay. consider is the key word here. It's a mind set i guess. I do not have relations with men while dressed in drab (on those rare occasions) Some argue that it's not possible to
turn on and off your brain chemistry that way.....if you're gay you're gay. Maybe this too is a mind set. But it's true and it's the way I am....
As for what's screwed up and what's not. I agree with you, that some can't come out for one reason or another. I don't abide with lying and cheating..no good can come from that, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Life's a bitch,and then you die.
OOP! Sorry I miss spelled you name.
As for hiding it from our children...wtf.. Do you discuss your sex life with your children, your finances? I don't think that we need discuss our private lives with our children. If sometime they find out... well then maybe you would want to try and explain it to them... or not. Actually I don't think we are obligated to discuss our private lives with anyone,with the exception of our SO... it's really none of their business.
Iam out...I don't hide, I have no SO to worry about. I feel for those who for whatever reason are (as described) screwed-up ....lol And I would never judge them as screwed up or not screwed up because of their screwed up ot not screwed up situations......Maybe my thinking is screwed up, but hey nobody's perfect.


Steph

Actually hon my name is Brenda Lee just missed the N when registering here and kind of liked the off beat spelling and kept the name bredalee it's unique to say the least they're alot of brendalee's how many bredalee's do you know and thanks for agreeing with me too ttfn