I'm approaching 70 years old now but can still remember some of those early thoughts of denial. In third grade I claimed to not know a woman's shirt could be called a blouse. I believed that kind of knowledge would have revealed too much of my understanding and attention to the clothing of the other gender. When longer hair was first in fashion and a sign of my politics I thought it was important to also grow a mustache "so I didn't look like a girl". I didn't look feminine at all, but the need to deny that aspect of my life was important.
Fast forward to the present and years of slow growth in my self understanding and societal changes. Now my hair is long and semi-styled, I get my nails done regularly and there are many friends and family who know I am transgender and get out frequently. I wonder if I'd gotten here a little quicker if I'd realized the folly of denying my true nature way back then. No regrets, but maybe a learning moment to share.
Those memories of denial are as firmly planted in my memory as those associated with my first steps out of the closet. How about you?