It turned out that nothing I could have done differently would have made any difference. After finding out, we did go to a therapist, and my ex revealed that had she known I was a crossdresser before we got married, she never would have married me, this, after a couple years of therapy and she learning as much as she could about it. It was simply something that she could not accept. I understand that; there are just some things that we get so completely turned off by, that it interferes with being attracted to them.