The other ladies have really commented on what I see is the real problem. Communication.

Some of the things I do or wear make her uncomfortable but she has been keeping them to herself so as not to hurt my feelings
You don't have to answer me...but ask your wife and then talk about what her thoughts are. What are you wearing that bothers her? Is it everything, some things, one thing, overall look? Is your goal just to wear something feminine or do you dress in a fetish way? Do you want to go to bed dressed feminine? Communicate.

She obviously loves you because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Don't let what she says hurt your feelings. Listen constructively. She is entitled to her opinions just as you are. If you want some kind of compromise, you have to communicate.

There are always alternatives but you both have to be willing to (here's that word again) communicate.

I hope you have a happy resolution to your situation.