As a 65 year old loner bachelor, with unbearable loneliness at times, i may be too forward with compliments, and considered creepy, but it is tough never having a companion, when all around me are couples.
As a 65 year old loner bachelor, with unbearable loneliness at times, i may be too forward with compliments, and considered creepy, but it is tough never having a companion, when all around me are couples.
My compliments are to women who have pretty nails, or a lovely top, usually while waiting in the cashier line. They always say thank you, with a smile.
With respect, at your age, you are allowed to get away with compliments that a younger male (?) would be chastised for. It's one of the perks of being older, as long as you aren't creepy in other ways.
At 57, I will often use the words "hun" or 'dear' when speaking with cashiers that I am familiar with, when I am in drab.
Sometimes, when at the convenience store, if I notice that a woman is behind me and is only getting a coffee, I will tell the clerk "... and I'm buying this young lady her coffee.", even if she is, apparently, my age or older. It always earns me a smile and a 'thanks".
Before you can love another, you must first like yourself
I Aim To Misbehave
Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!
Good for you Jodie. A while back, I noticed a woman who had not enough cash in her account, in a gas station store, and she was not my type, but was hurting, so i told her i am covering her purchase. I has happened for me, before, too. Feels great!
Today, bringing up a woman's appearance at work is a death sentence for a man. You just don't do it. They told us this back when I was in high school 25+ years ago. I just can't believe a man today would even think about mentioning a woman's appearance or what she is wearing at the workplace.
Even outside of work... Maybe it is a regional thing, but I wouldn't go up to a woman who was a complete stranger and mention her appearance. It just seems like an invitation to trouble. It may come off at patronizing to some, and outright harassment to others.
I miss the days when men could complement a woman's appearance and it was appreciated, and common sense was common and everyone could agree on what was and was not appropriate. Those days are long gone. This is the era of microaggressions and professional victimhood. People wonder why so many adults are lonely today.
Vickie, Well said! I would not dare mention it in a work place now. I need to be far more careful in what i say to cashiers too. My brother got banned from a bank, for saying something to an employee there.
Before I was out, even telling my wife that I prefer in skirts and dresses didn't go so well. Though she did go from zero skirts and dresses to maybe 25 dresses (granted each one has probably only been worn two times on average). I realize now anyone should be able to wear what they want.
[QUOTE Those days are long gone. This is the era of microaggressions and professional victimhood. People wonder why so many adults are lonely today.[/QUOTE]
Isn't that the truth !!
Professional victimhood is a great way to describe a lot of people these days.
Common sense is a rare thing anymore it seems.
Are things different here, or have I been living dangerously?
I regularly compliment colleagues. I have complimented strangers. There has to be some level of proximity such as queuing. I can't remember a negative reaction, more often a smile and a thank you. Keeping it simple and neutral may help?
Even the simple act of noticing goes down well be it a new hairstyle, new nails or outfit, afterall they have invested time and money.
It may be a different culture where you are. Some people are so sensitive in the USA it is easy for a benign complement come off as creepy or offensive. Especially in the workplace, at least here in America, men mentioning a female co-worker's appearance in any capacity is a huge no-no; doing that here is definitely living dangerously. One misunderstanding and you can lose your job and have your reputation ruined.
"She ain't waiting 'til she gets older, her feet are makin' tracks in the winter snow.
She got a rainbow that touches her shoulder, she be headed where the thunder rolls."
-Van Halen, "Secrets"
I am a bit older so I was refering to experiences I had back in the late 70s and 80s
These days when I joke with lady friends about up coming social events telling them i hope to see lots of Party dresses worn they Always volounter to have me over so i can Borrow one for the event . many have joked that all the men should have to come in dresses ! Love women and their sense of humor
Honestly NO WAY! I would never suggest to a woman that she needs to wear dresses more often. That's like playing with fire on so many levels.
Most of the women I know, senior citizens, seldom wear dresses. Quite a few know I wear women's clothes so they would assume I wear dresses.
A complaint filed "just because" a woman is gorgeous and dresses nicely is not grounds in itself for a complaint. Yes, as an observer if those women observed guys drooling and stumbling all over themselves, perhaps their argument was a "hostile work environment." A person does not have to be a participant in drooling episode, but, just an observer. IMHO, the situation as described would not hold water if the intern was not encouraging the men.
Vickie_CDTV - agree with you 100%. I would love to compliment a woman on how she is dressed at work, but to do so would be a death sentence. I sliently admire what she is wearing and wish that I could wear it too..... Same thing out in public. There are many women I would love to say, "You have a terrific style. I like your (insert item here), etc"....but with today's environment, no way.
I have to call shenanigans on this. Unless the intern was violating the company dress code, i.e. by wearing outfits that would make a stripper blush, there is no way in hell that any HR rep would act on this "complaint".
I can just imagine the discussion that would take place:
HR: "OK, Sally, the reason we're having this discussion is that some of the employees think that you are too attractive."
SALLY: "I'm sorry, but what...?"
HR: "Yes, some of our older employees are threatened by your youth and good looks. So, if you could just gain about 60 pounds, or maybe mutilate your face, that would be great!"
SALLY: "You'll be hearing from my lawyers..."
Before you can love another, you must first like yourself
I Aim To Misbehave
Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!