So my wife, my mother-in-law and I were talking and my wife mentioned how it felt like I lied to her all these years about my dressing. I thought I could ignore and just not do it and that worked for the most part, until it didn't. And my mother-in-law said "It's not that he was lying to you all these years but lying to himself." That is such a true statement and glad for her insight and support. She truly is the one who surprisingly is the most supportive of me through all of this.
Sometimes I wonder what would of happened if I didn't lie to myself all of those years, my life would probably been completely different now.