I would certaintly agree that it makes sense to try to talk things out first, but at some point it becomes futile as in my case. Looking at Nicole's bio, I see there was a huge blow up over a discussion of painting toenails - something that can be hidden easily by slipping on some shoes. If that will not fly, nothing is likely to ever be permissable - same as my case. Some will never give in, and I am not being judgemental. I just see it as a fact that some wives can never accept it. (Consider yourself lucky if you do have an accepting wife, as some like mine have gone to the extent of name calling which I will not repeat here)
So if there is a zero tolerance, AND you still want to maintain your marriage, you have to make a decisiion. You either have to stop (not so easy), or do it in secret (which is what I do).
The hard part about secretive dressing is finding a balance. How much is enough to keep you statified? I am lucky because I have to travel a lot. I get some freedom in dressing while away from everyone I know. I have more or less found a very fragile balance, which has worked for me a couple of years now. It could all come crashing down for me in a moment, but for now it is working.
Good luck, Nicole. I hope it works out for you and you can find your "balance".
Sandi
