It sounds like there are two possibilities here. 1) You still harbor feelings of shame over your dressing and that’s driving you to still keep things as hidden as possible. Not much to be done there other than maybe talk to a therapist or something to help with your self-acceptance.
Or 2) By acting secretive, you’re hoping to bait your wife into becoming interested in You and your dressing. It sounds like it’s the latter, but you’re going about it wrong if that’s the case. You’re going for coy but coming across as standoffish. “Just some stuff” reads as “I don’t want to talk about it”. Next time give her a little tease if you want her to ask. Instead of “just some stuff”, try “A dress”. THAT will beg inquiry. A dress for who? What kind of dress? What does it look like? Etc.
You say you want perfume, you have to try to open the conversation. Next time she puts on perfume try telling her how much you like it on her then slip in, “Do you think it would work for me?” You’ve now opened up a conversation about perfume.
You can’t expect her to be a helicopter wife and always be there for what you need. You have to meet her half way.
