I should be happy with this good news.

[Teresa]

Denise,
Do CIS women all struggle to maintain their looks as they get older ? Maybe I should ask this question in the right section for GGs .

It might be better to relate a conversation I had with a widowed sitxtyish GG while walking our dogs , we got onto the subject of makeup , I told her I prefer to wear it all the time , she replied with a chuckle , " If I started to wear makeup now my sons would think I'm looking for a new man !" She obviously connects makeup with attraction .

Out of all the women I walk the dogs with only one elderly lady wears makeup . In my painting group the odd one or two GGs wear a touch of lipstick and occasionally eyeliner and light foundation , the majority wear none at all . I've heard the comment from more than one GG that their husbands don't like them wearing it .

I still feel I can't go out without wearing any but I had to learn how little to apply . Two points arise from this , I realised after a while people see it as your identity , if I stopped wearing it now they would possibly comment more . The other point I have noticed is especially at my painting group more have started to apply a touch of makeup , that raises the follow on question of what induces them to start wearing it again ? There is no reason why they could see me as a threat , is it more to do with competition or are they feeling a little guilty that they've given up on makeup ?

I guess the point I'm making is you list all the things you do to enjoy being female but also suggest it maybe difficult to maintain it , I appreciate part of that is associated with the difficult time you're having with your wife , she is still restricting your lifestyle so it's proving difficult to find your identity . Maybe you need to take a step back and let the separation/divorce happen first , get your new home sorted and then think about where your want to be with transition . I will admit I found that time very hard to deal with , I knew what I wanted to do but I had to wait until I was free in my own home , it was only then I found a balance and settled on my identity .