Nicole, thanks for the clarifications. I can readily understand your relationship. The only difference between your relationship and mine is my wife and I have been married almost fifty years. Yes, my wife and I dabbled before kids in nightgowns and hosiery for me. The first kid came and she asked me to not wear a nightie as much. Ok! Then the second kid. Then that side of me went onto the back burner. Our young daughter at the age of three opened the bottom draw of my armoire and yanked out the only bra I owned at the time. My stash was contained in a large gift box; one bra, some slips, hosiery and a nightgown or two. "The Talk" ensued. Kinky bedroom fetish for nylon was replaced by more than she could handle. The end result? DADT. I was left alone. She wanted nothing to do with it. I could live with that. I call it the ostrich effect; stick head in the ground and ignore it. On occasion I have left an article of clothing out. Yes, my wife found the panty or bra, folded it and placed it out of sight on top of the clothes dryer behind a door. She has found my browser open to this site, and, told me I needed to be more careful less a visitor were to see it open. No screaming. No yelling. No tearing the house apart looking for feminine clothes which she realizes must be somewhere.

I suspect the discussion is going to get around to Sherry's comment; "Hide, cheat and lie."

If a wife wants nothing to do with her husband's cross dressing what is the alternative for her husband? Does he rub it in her face by getting dolled up and openly sit around in front of her? Or, show her all his feminine purchases? How does one approach a wife who declares she wants nothing to do with it? Is it hiding when the husband would gladly at least talk about the issue, but, she refuses? Is it cheating when he is told to "do your thing" which he does? Is it shocking if he actually follows her declarations? Yes, here we go again with the "lie of omission." A wife wants to know nothing, so how does one approach the issue? Don't bring up the discussion with extraneous issues; family budget, etc. Yes, if a husband is buying $250 shoes it is no different than a wife blowing a hole in the family budget.

I would suggest Nicole and her wife revisit the issue of boundaries and Nicole's needs. It may a difficult discussion, but, isn't that what marriage is all about anyway. It isn't all "peaches and cream."