If you could take it all away, would you?

[c2candice]

I came across this question recently, and it?s got me thinking.

If you could take a pill that takes away all of your desire to dress feminine, and all memory of it, would you? It would take you to the presumable state of a normal man, attracted to women. No angst around your desire to take on the feminine form ever again.

Would you? Why or why not?

[Helen_Highwater]

Candice,

Simple answer, no. Why, because I don't find that CD'ing has ever been a negative in my life. Taking the pill in a way suggests that someone would be ashamed of who they are and I'm not. In fact CD'ing has enriched my life. I've had experiences I wouldn't have had otherwise.

[CharlotteCD]

Right now, yes, I would take it. It's something that I'm sure my wife wouldn't want in our life, and it's something I don't want to tip toe around her with.

Equally though, before I met my wife, I would have happily taken the hypothetical pill that turns you into a biological woman - most days I would still be tempted!

[Teresa]

Candice,
Oh dear we're back to the " normal " label , , is there such a thing as normal ?

So we are to assume the pill also stops homosexuality because they aren't attracted to women . Phili posted a thread questioning fetish behaviour , to a point men are turned on by degrees of fetish behaviour , sex is triggered but in different ways .

The question also implies there is something wrong with gender variants , we should be ashamed or feel guilty for not conforming .

I admit at one time I said I wouldn't wish the anguish of CDing on my worse enemy . How wrong I've proved myself , it's a wonderful part of me I've discovered .

When this question was posed before I suggested an alternative pill could help people accept us , we have to accept what we feel and do isn't wrong .It's been known for sometime that what we feel isn't an illness that can and should be cured with some magic pill . Our brains are wired this way , we just have to accept it and hope the people round us can , my life has proved that can happen , why would I want to change it now ?

[Krisi]

If I wanted to stop crossdressing, I would stop. No need for a pill.

As for "attracted to women", even though I often dress as a woman, that doesn't mean my attraction is anything different. I am attracted to women. I am married and attracted to my wife.

[Bea_]

Life is complicated. There are complications for which I might take a pill, but crossdressing isn't near the top of the list. Virtually every pill I've ever taken has potential negative side effects, some deadly. The cure can be more deadly than the disease. So, no.

[Jackiefl]

No that thought never crossed my mind

[Maria_mtf]

Hi Candice, I love your threads I can relate to almost everything you say.

I would take it 100%. Reason why, life would be easier, I currently hate this side of me, wife not over the moon either, and noone else even knows it exists.

However I would also take the magic pink pill which turns me into a woman and the whole world would have always known me as a woman, and somehow even my kids are unchanged and still genetically mine.

If the normal part is mandatory though I would say no, I am not normal even without crossdressing. Normal people drink too much alcohol, eat too much, dont exercise and always short on cash, no thanks. The attraction to woman seems unrelated though, if you think that makes a person normal then uh oh.

[JennyMay]

I think my question would be, if I took the pill would I still be me? My CD is so much a part of my identity. It’s not something I do, it’s part of who I am. I have spent many years trying to be someone else - there were times when I would have taken the pill instantly. But that’s not where I am now. In the words of the song, This is me.

[Stephanie47]

Yes, I would take that pill. I have to chuckle a little about the term "normal man." What the heck does that mean? Over the decade I have been on this forum I have read comments about cross dressers having greater sensitivity and compassion for others. The implication is non-crossdressing men do not have that trait or quality. I know many men who possess those traits who are not cross dressers.

I think most cross dressing men are isolationists; staying indoors, not socializing. Many seem to have some degree of angst and turmoil in their marital relationship. Specifically for me there is non-acceptance of my cross dressing by my wife. I am not one who will take the position of shoving it in her face; take it or leave. The way society is I believe were I to be out there among the masses I would experience more non-acceptance. It does not matter if those not accepting a cross dressing man are not educated as to cross dressing, it is a fact of life. I have read this morning a thread concerning "coming out" to women vs men. Yes, in general women may engage in some chatting, but in the nitty-gritty it will come down to NIMBY. It really has nothing to do with feeling ashamed or guilty about being a gender variant. If you are past that personal hurdle you still have to deal with others. I know some are going to say, if you take that pill, you're not going to know what you're missing. What would I be missing that I do not already have?

[Jennifer0874]

Never in a million years. I have never wanted to stop. I started seeing a gender therapist this year and I am loving every minute of our sessions. My ultimate goal is to be comfortable as myself no matter what others think. My marriage has had a lot of ups and downs over the past couple years due to this. But for me therapy is figuring out who I am and being able to stand on my own if need be.

[Elizabeth G]

My simple answer is no and this pretty much sums up my reasoning too.

I think my question would be, if I took the pill would I still be me? My CD is so much a part of my identity. It?s not something I do, it?s part of who I am. I have spent many years trying to be someone else - there were times when I would have taken the pill instantly. But that?s not where I am now.

[Cheryl T]

I'm ambivalent on this.
There are days when I would, but it would have to also somehow take me back to my childhood. I would want to have it to do over completely as that male without any inclination to dress. I would want all the time that was spent thinking about dressing, finding ways to obtain clothing, actually dressing and then all the time spent afraid someone would discover it and out me and all the time berating myself for being this way. I'd want all the time I spent alone and hiding and didn't spend with my wife back to be more with her.

That being said, there are more days when I say NO. I love being me. I love being feminine and feeling as I do, expressing this part of me. I love being a woman and to flip that coin wish the pill would take me back and begin again as a little girl to grow into womanhood and experience all the things that we miss out on not being women. The progression into puberty and sexual awakening, the dating and the sleep overs. I'd want to see it all through female eyes.

[Star01]

I have a better idea. Develop a pill for the entire population that makes them accepting of crossdressers and transgender people. I volunteer my wife for the clinical trials.

[c2candice]

This is a question that has really tested and reinforced my own self acceptance.

At first glance, my answer was a definite yes! Take away the angst, the confusion, guilt, paranoia. The relationship conflict. Remove all of those troubles!?! Yes please, I’ll take a conflict-free life please.

Upon reflection, it has occurred to me that issue long as I remove the layer of shame and self acceptance, I can embrace my own identity. I can embrace the very feminine parts of my personal experience in everyday life. Much of my life, I have tried my very hardest to blend in. To look and act as normal as possible so that I don’t receive any judgement of others. If they don’t see me, they can’t judge me, is what I thought. Wear the most plain guy stuff. Do the guy things. Maybe they won’t notice. Stuff... stuff...

As I become more of true me, I now relish the fact that I can wear non conventional clothing. I can stand out and feel and look good as a guy. Experiment with fashion. Throw in colour. Speak with a more feminine inflection when the time is right. Do the traditional guy things that I like, while at the same time embrace the traditional female things I like. Blur the lines of gender roles and fashion to reflect my true identity. The yin and then yang within me, finding balance within myself.

The fact that I like to experiment with both ends of the gender expression is then not so surprising to me. I can feel good in the stubble face, rugged looking outdoorsman in plaid. Or I can feel good in a glam eyeshadow, lace top, tight skirt, hose and heels. It’s all just costume anyways. An outer reflection of our inner sense of being. If I shut out the feminine side of me, it’ll just create conflict.

So I think that, in fact, I kind of like embodying both gender traits. I think just maybe it makes me a more balanced human. Not to say anybody that embraces only their masculine or feminine selves is less balanced or wrong. They are just embracing their own identity, and for them, they are balanced enough at one end. On the other side, I also don’t think that trans people that chose to transition are imbalanced or wrong. They are identified in such a way that they find balance in their non birth gender. And that’s ok too. We’re all different. We’re all at different points along the spectrum.

That’s my take on the question anyways. Not a simple one. We are all beautiful inside. We are all exactly the way we should be. We are all enough.

[Robertacd]

I don't bother even thinking about questions like this.

Because if you lose all the memories along with the desire then how do you know your life would be better, happier, or improved in any way?

[Sunny_with_a_chance]

Really good question.

I've definitely thought about this hypothetical before, and a while ago I would've said yes. But it's become a huge part of me that I love and identify with so strongly that I could never give away.

[Stevie Allyn]

No pill for me thanks.

I'm happy as I am. Family and friends, the people who matter to me are accepting and supportive. I have no reason to want to change.

[Kimberly A.]

Hi, Candice. Tbh, I'm glad that you posted this..... To answer your question, I'm kinda one who answers both "yes" and "no". Why? Well the reason I'd answer "yes" is because sometimes, CD'ing is just too tedious and time-consuming. Also, I have to be EXTREMELY careful to not be seen by my neighbors or to not have my dad or any other family member discovering my feminine side. I could also get into my religious beliefs on CD'ing, but I know that is forbidden on this forum but I'd be happy to talk about that in private.

Anyway about hiding it from my neighbors, there are three houses that all share the same driveway that goes down to the county road that we live on. My house is at the very end, I have a neighbor in the middle house who is married and they have people over from time to time, then there's the house at the very end with a family and a few kids and their kids are often outside playing. So when I'm all dolled up and ready to go out the door, I have to either take off my femme clothes, put on "dude" clothes, plus a ball cap to try and hide my makeup-covered face, plus try to hide my painted nails, put my femme clothes plus my wig and shoes in plastic bags, rush to my car, then go to my "hiding spot", (which is a small dirt road about a half-mile from where I live), pull over on the dirt road and put my femme clothes, shoes and wig back on..... ALL of that just to try and hide it from my neighbors.
Also, my dad comes over to my house from time to time for whatever reason, so I have to make sure that I have all of my feminine things put away before he comes over..... All of this is the reason why yes, I WOULD take the "magic pill" in order to forget all about my CD'ing and have no desire, whatsoever to do it.

Now, the reason I would answer "no" is this..... First of all like some others here, CD'ing is NOT a fetish for me. I feel that my feminine side, (which is VERY strong) is just a part of me and I feel like it's who I'm supposed to be. No, I don't feel like a woman trapped in a man's body and I don't feel the need to be transgender. I'm not gay or bisexual, although I'm single, I'm still 100% attracted to women.
I have been heavily CD'ing for just a smidge over a year now and I have no plans to stop. I LOVE the feeling of women's clothes, I love wearing breast forms and a bra, I love the feel and look of makeup on my face and I love the feel of the wigs and long hair. I love how I look dressed as a woman and I love to act feminine when I'm out dressed in public.
I still can't exactly explain why I love to cross-dress or why I have such a strong feminine side. It's just a part of me and I feel that it's like second nature to me now.

[RADER]

I never thought of doing that. I like dressing in woman's clothes; But I also like girls.
I have no desire to be with a man. So I guess I will stay the way I am.

[Star01]

Now that I'm off my phone and on the computer I can make a more serious response than I did earlier this morning.

Reluctantly I would have to say yes. Crossdressing and the gender confusion that comes with it sent me into therapy. I am in a DADT, can't find a way to shop right now, storing clothes is a risk as would being seen dressed so it forces me into this double life. I do have some level of dysphoria and am trying to come to terms with that and understand it as well. I'm compelled to shave my entire body including forearms and get some weird looks on account of that and the way I groom my eyebrows, etc. Then there is the expense, for example I hate my beard and would love to have it removed but I have seen that the total bill can be in the $20,000 USD range. I'm sure my wife would much rather take trips to overseas destinations than seeing that money go towards her husband looking more like a woman. Then there is my more rural location and crossdressers being something we don't see up here so just walking out of the house in front of the neighbors would put a bullseye on both of us (not in reference to physical harm but a bullseye in the sense of being treated bad by neighbors). I wouldn't want to force my wife to be a part of that but like everyone on this forum the thought of dressing and doing as I please still intrigues me.

I guess to sum it up, I enjoy those rare opportunities when I am able to dress and would love to be able to do that more, much more. On the other hand, I'm all alone fighting this internal battle 24/7 365 days a year without anyone around me aware of my inner turmoil. I have two choices, either continue to restrain myself and suffer inside or come out, have a second "talk" and demand my freedom to dress and do with my body as I please. If I were to go that route, and I have put plenty of thought to it, things could go terribly wrong from a family sense. If a pill could solve that turmoil and make me forget this I would probably have to get in line to take it. This whole crossdressing thing can be a very complicated mess, especially when the bell rings later in life after we have already had a family and established ourselves.

[Asew]

As a teenager I would have as I was ashamed of my dressing desires. Now that I have accepted this side of me, I would not take it.

[VS Fan]

Nah... there are so many other things I would change about myself first... dressing introduces some variables into my life but they aren’t negative per se.

[Sandi Beech]

Oddly enough, that is exactly what my wife wanted to happen as the end result of when we went to a therapist or counselor about 4 years ago. My wife wanted a pill that would fix me. I forget what lady?s credentials are. I had mentioned in other posts it all backfired since the woman told my wife to research crossdressing and that led to DADT. But the short answer for me is no, but my wife would say yes for sure.

Sandi

[kayegirl]

Absolutely and emphatically NOT. In the words of the song , I am what I am, and what I am needs no excuses.