There was a male friend that I didn't want to lose when I was coming out. I recruited his wife to help, as it turned out my fears were unfounded. We are still very good friends.
Basically women are about feelings and men aren't.
What women hear when you come out to them, is you want to join their team, so of course they're all yay.
While your wife picked someone from the other team as a partner, you see the difference.
Maybe I should point out that I'm out , live as Jean, and haven't lost any friends and have gained many.
My wife is another story.
