There was a time, during one of my "Why, oh why do I do this" moments, that I latched onto the idea that I was turned on by my image dressed. But, that idea was untenable since I'm not that attractive dressed as a female. So, what is it about CDing that is a turn on for me? My conclusion, for now, is that I'm turned on by the state of emasculation. The idea of being a man and especially the idea of performing sexually as a man was always attractive to me in theory but in actuality it filled me with dread. So I began to fantasize about being on the other side of the equation. Not being a "man" for a bit of time is what allowed me to experience sexual arousal without angst.
re: autogynephilia. There are two aspects of AGP that get mixed up. There is AGP the phenomenon and AGP the theory. The phenomenon is "a male's tendency to be sexually aroused by the idea or image of himself as a woman." Then there is the theory which is meant to explain the phenomenon. The theory has multiple parts. One is that there are two types of Transsexuals: The exclusively androphilic type and the AGP type. I'm not trans so this doesn't apply to me. Maybe it doesn't apply to anybody. I don't know and I don't care. Another part of the theory that supposedly applies to AGPs is the idea of erotic target location error (ETLE). Basically, this says that the AGP is attracted to himself as a woman and becomes his own girlfriend. That's kind of what this thread is about. I don't think this applies to me either as I explained above but it might be a related concept. But when I think of AGP as applied to myself, I'm only thinking of the phenomenon and not the theory.
