Honestly, I'm not so sure I'm exactly the best person to try to answer this, since I'm seemingly perpetually single -- mainly by (subconscious?) choice. Like, so much so, that I don't really date or even bother to attempt to. Only once in a blue moon will the right person come along at the right time in my life. Of course, even then, I'll still fight it tooth & nail -- and very rarely do I "lose." The Force is strong in this one, and this ain't exactly my 1st rodeo.

That said... :D


Yes, it's already been said: Shame (not always necessarily self-shame, but that someone important/close would officially know), fear of rejection, fear of them leaving, fear of getting made fun of, fear of others now knowing (when it's none of their business), fear of them looking at you differently (and perhaps them looking elsewhere, instead, for a more "normal" & "manly man"), fear of being shunned by some sort of social circle/professional circle/community-at-large, etc. Because once that cat is out of the bag? Things could really spiral out of control. :rc:

Worst-case scenario? Take a look at what can potentially happen to those who eventually transition. Sometimes? Their entire world can crumble down around them. They can lose a *lot*. No, CD'ers might not typically experience that to such an extreme -- but in some cases can get pretty close.


Anyway, on some level, it is the fear of the unknown. We already know the status quo. But what happens should we decide to do the right thing & roll that dice... Feeling lucky, punk?

Things will probably change to some degree or another. What we need to keep in mind, is that it's not necessarily a bad change... That it may actually be a *good* one!

There are definitely some couples out there who can share a lot of fun & psychological intimacy with all this. Not only do these GG's merely accept it -- but actively encourage & even participate! It opens this whole new dimension to the relationship, one that wouldn't be present otherwise. Definitely enough success stories out there. Unfortunately, for some? Variables such as age & geography can play a role in how this turns out. For example, for those who are, say, under 50 years old? You may have a better shot at a positive outcome -- or at least relatively speaking.


Maybe not with a significant other, but I have taken calculated *social* risks with this. Coming out to the right person(s)? Oh, wow... Best. Move. EVER! Never in a million years could I have had such great experiences had I instead kept my mouth shut. Totally worth!


Perhaps easier said than done, but let's get real: Your SO has a right to know. Does it absolutely suck? You got it. Especially since we didn't ask or choose to be this way. But in our hearts, we already know that the best & only true option is to put on your big-girl panties & man up.