Teresa,
The point you make about what people's preconceptions are about how we look and behave set against the reality is one that I feel runs though society.
I'm reminded of when the Windrush migrants first arrived in the UK. There were many preconceptions about what they were like and sadly many of those were negative yet most people had never met or talked to even one of those new to the country.
It's not that dissimilar with our community. CD'er, must be Gay. The image people have of us, even people who know us, is distorted by those societal misconceptions dating back decades.
As you say, if we can get over that threshold of those early meetings then funnily enough folks start to see us as human and more the person we are.
