Kandi, I have seen your blog several times and I think you do a nice job. IMO, though, giving a partner or wife a letter like the one you wrote is a bad idea. You dump a lot in that letter. One of the worst fights I ever had in my marriage followed my giving my wife a ver similar letter. She took it as my blindsiding her and not having the courage to say what I wanted to say out loud. As I thought about it I realized that I had used my 3 page letter to essentially give a speech without allowing her to respond. As I have gotten better at communicating with her, I have learned to make one short point, not over-explain, then, listen to her. I feel less compelled to get it all out and more motivated to be sure she feels that I am interested in her feelings.
I also would recommend against bringing up things like transitioning or crossdressing vs. transgender unless the partner raises such questions. Just tell her what you want, how you feel, and ask what you can do to help her understand and be comfortable because your relationship is most important. Nancy
