I hid for decades and decades but found I wasn't satisfied or fulfilled dressing in the closet. I eventually found a support group that I joined but they only got to see the Sarah side of me until I understood I could trust them. Eventually my wife found out, and to my good luck was supportive and we discussed needs and boundaries. That worked until she passed away. By that time, I had retired from my career and found myself living as Sarah as much as possible, but worried about being found out once again. I was still struggling and sought out a therapist to set a path forward. I came out to my daughter, and like others have mentioned my kids and some of their friends already knew. It was better, but I still felt confined by the need to have and protect two identities.
After a lot of discussion, I decided to take the first steps toward transition knowing if I continued, I'd have to come out to the world eventually. The day I took my first dose I came out to my oldest friend and his wife. Over the next year I began to evaluate who I really needed in my life and identified the friends who meant the most to me. Over a period of two weeks, I came out to 5 more couples, all of whom were supportive. During Covid lockdowns I found no reason to continue being the guy and started living full time as Sarah. I made more phone calls and continued letting friends and family know I was going to transition. I applied for and got my legal name and gender change. It was done by October 11, Coming Out day, and on that day, I came out publicly with only a couple of people lost to or antagonistic toward me.
In short, I waited as long as possible because I feared the loss of career, friends and family. I did my research until I had confidence that I was going to be given an honest response with a chance of success from those closest to me and worked it out from there. It was "Need to know, Right to Know, and finally Don't care who knows." It wasn't done overnight or on a whim. I probably could have moved more quickly, but I'm happy where I am now in this issue, and that's the final measure of success for me.
