At what age did you feel or realize this was who you were? It seems the older I got the more secure with who i was and the more I enjoyed dressing up.
At what age did you feel or realize this was who you were? It seems the older I got the more secure with who i was and the more I enjoyed dressing up.
I was about 12 when I started but it wasn't till I was in my 50's that I realized it wasn't going away and was part of who I am.
I agree. I remember trying on bras etc at a early age, but then not doing that for many years. but as i got older the more the feelings of dressing got stronger. I will be 50 in march and have just now come to terms with this is ME!
Started at age 4-6 with a dress! Boys wear pants girls wear dresses!
Mother bought pant suit! I told her (~15) she was not my mom, my mom wore dresses!
Realizing it is me ~64-65! Gender me! New motto: Let yourself be yourself!
Now out 24/7/365 and just being me!
Hugs Lana Mae
Life is worth living!
"Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix
Rayne, when I was about 10 my mom dressed my brother and I up in girls clothing for a church Halloween contest, we didn't win as we were certainly not the only boys dressed this way. On a side note I have seen at least three boys in my neighborhood dressed as girls for Halloween but have no idea if they ever wore something feminine again. I will say that they were very comfortable, as if it was just a costume and no other indications that it was something more. I believe many of us would definitely have a bit of the pink fog on us and possibly raise some suspicions among those that know us.
The first time I dressed with any intention was at about 12 or 13, alone in a spare bedroom, and it very soon became quite the hobby. I progressed to full clothing and a wig, first did makeup and perfume at about 15 and for the past 45+ years have been chasing that magic feeling from back in those "first" days. I still measure this in terms of "firsts", with first steps outside, first time driving, first time going into a store and finally this week my first time going into a makeup store and just asking for help with the basics.
To the last point of your post, I also am feeling quite comfy with the activity and occasionally wonder if I'm too comfortable but I don't let that stop the magic of the pink fog! Walking in and out of stores, slowly looking through the racks for the perfect outfit, ordering a meal at Panera and sitting out in public are all just too fantastic, good luck on your travels.
I still have not figured who I am so I will let you knows when I figure it out, if ever.
Started at about age 8. Been fighting for years but have had to acknowledge Claire is NOT going anywhere...
Started at 3 or 4 with the neighbor girls. As I got older the more, I dressed. By 12 my family would leave alone to visit my aunt and I would dress up and sit on the front pouch swing. Now 70 years later I can't get enough dressing.
GLENDA
I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN
Started at 3-4 years old when my sister and her friend put me in one of my sister's dresses. I was also used as a dress model as my mum was a seamstress at this time.
My mum put a stop to this as my parents could see I wanted to dress up a lot, and would always ask to be dressed up when I was 4-6.
By 5-6 I was taking my sister's underwear and hiding them in my room.
By 12 I was dressing in my sister's clothes whenever possible.
Come 18 I bought clothes for myself for the first time.
I then got seriously ill and didn't dress until I was early 20s, then met my wife and my desires just went away.
At 30 I had a massive desire to dress again, and realised I was transgender over the following 2 years.
I think you already have figured yourself out. You just need to be secure with who you are
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I also would like to add that as i read your stories and get to know who you are, when I read you address me as Rayne and who I am, I feel a peace, a calm on me .. so THANK YOU
I was 8 when I started and 44 when I decided to acknowledge that these feelings were NOT ever gonna go away and decided to just go with it!
I was 8 when I discovered women's clothing. I was well into my 40's before I realized this was something I really couldn't change. And I was 58 before I accepted this into my life and let it become part of me and who I am.
Six or seven. Been the same for a long time, as I'm the Beatles age ("When I'm 64"). Five years ago I made the decision to step out the door, and ever since I made that decision I've had a lot of fun.
I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:
https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/
I'm with Karren -- I'll let you know when I figured it out. Every time I think I have it, something changes and I'm back to sorting it out again.
At 5. others told me who I was and it didn't agree with who I thought I was. It took me a long time to realize that I was right and they were wrong. I'm still trying to figure out who I am though.
I'm a little different. I had no childhood crossdressing experiences at all. My first came at age 28 when, as kind of a joke, I tried on my girlfriend's - later to become my wife - nightgown. I liked it a lot, told no one and buried the impulse to go further for many years. In my forties, I tried on my wife's pantyhose, and later a dress or two. Again I liked it a lot, but did not act upon it further for a good 25 years. This past summer, at age 69, I finally gave in, bought some clothing of my own, dressed up, and here I am. There is no going back or burying the impulse now. It is part of who I am, and probably always was. I find that I am now quite happy to be part of the CD community.
I am reading your question differently than some. Although I may have dabbled in my mother's lingerie draw as a teenager I was filled with self loathing and disgust. I thought I must have been a homosexual which was a negative thing back in the 1960's. Worse, I must have been a pervert. That was the common belief. Worthy of getting my head knocked in and thrown out of my home by my parents, if I was discovered. I still had issues with cross dressing into my 20's and 30's. I never went to counseling. I don't know what sort of counseling I would have received in the 1970's and 1980's. I don't think that was the "Age of Enlightenment."
I probably came to the realization of who I was in my 50's. I sort of weighed my pluses and minuses on the scale of life. The plus side totally dominates. Now the problems I have are really the problems of others unwilling to accept men and women who are different than themselves. Sure, the more secure one is with self, the more enjoyment or peace.
Did you purge out of self loathing or did you purge because of the potential negative consequences of your actions? There is a difference.
Ten. My mum's tights (pantyhose). Loved it then and love it even more now.
I would say my early dabbles with femme clothing started when I was around 5 years old. It continued all though my teenaged years but I never really understood it. Being transgendered wasn't in anyone's vocabulary.
It was the coming of the Internet that radically changed things. I would say I'd be in my 40's before I got anything like an understanding of just who I was and that there were others like me out there. Seeing photo's on sites like Flickr of so many CD'ers was a real eye opener.
Technology has revolutionised how gender is perceived. I know it's anecdotal but it does seem that those born 30 years ago or less get comfortable with their dressing and who they are much younger in life.
Although I began dressing at about 11 years old I certainly didn't understand myself well enough at the time to recognize what it all meant. Over the years the urge would come and go, sometimes for years at a time. When I was about fifty the urges to dress came roaring back and hasn't left. but it was still several more years before I realized I was more than "just a crossdresser". So I would say that I was about 53 when I finally figured out and accepted that I am transgender.
Last edited by Elizabeth G; 12-12-2021 at 02:23 PM.
i started at 4 or 5. I really came to terms with my dressing in my early 30's.
Sara
I realized there was something different about me compared to the other boys when 4 or 5. I related to girls really well and not so well with boys. By 8 I was exploring using my mother's clothes and then I got caught. I was gently but soundly reprimanded and effectively my identity as the girl I wanted to be was negated leaving me with a maleness I did not want. That started a war within me and I became as Stephanie47 described - full of shame and self loathing.
But I learned to outwardly be fairly "normal" male while the war inside continued. That kind of conflict is not sustainable without going mad. Ten years ago at 66 I surrendered to the her in me. Now, after years of study of the nature of the transgender person, I am stable and comfortable but not fully femme out in the open. My stable point is considerably lower than those who go out but it is fully who I am - not a male, not a female, but a more or less equal blend of both that now respect and support each other. Psychologically Androgynous is the best term. And my wife is showing signs of accepting it a wee bit more. It is not a need; it is who and what I am. I can't go back but I also feel little need to go deeper. No shame and no loathing. I understand it now.
As most of us things change over time. many 1st along this path.
My store started at a very early age, I will say being born in 1955 ( many years prior to the internet) like 40 years old.
At less than 3-4 was playing dress up with my friends on my block they were all girls my age.No daycare, so the mothers took turn. We did share each other cloths playing dress up.. At around 5-6 was my trying on my 1st pair of panties, my friend Beth and I switched underwear in her bedroom, we nearly got caught by her mother wearing each other underwear when she yelled out lunch was ready. Luckily she did not come to, the bedroom to get us.
Hated puberty was just wrong wanted to be a girl.
I am more than a crossdresser, so I do not identify as a crossdressers.
Major 1st is when accepting that I am transgender and non-binary / more female side.
I started when I was 3 or 4. I had a slew of older sisters who dressed me. But also I would wear things on my own.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".