I have to thank you ladies again! I sincerely appreciate your insights and most of all your empathies! You gave me a lot to think about and I appreciate that too, but the support means the most!

I never thought of myself as a kitten (just a sissy or a princess!), but it is true about the other types of monsters out there.

I have tried to talking to my wife and it went pretty much as described in the story. DADT and definitely don?t see.

I?ve accepted myself and appreciate my female side very much. Enjoying women?s garments has always felt very natural to me and also exciting on many levels. I never think of myself as being handsome as a man, but I do think of myself as pretty and contented when fully done up as Alison. But most others do not and would not see anything pretty (just a big guy in a dress and makeup with maybe a little 5 o'clock shadow) and that?s the duality of it.

I agree that I/we are not Monsters, however being categorized with pedophiles in psychological texts casts us in that societal light, which is a stone foul. Silence of the Lambs and other screen presentations have reinforced negative connotations in the most unkind of ways.

Guilt and shame?I received that from a Catholic foundation, but even outside of religion things like being called a sissy reinforce the negative of society-defined (as opposed to humanity-defined) perversions. I now embrace my sissy. I am, and we are, definitely not monsters and the point about non-CD PhD?s pigeonholing us is a good one, but there are many accuracies in their conclusions. The more Trans people become integrated into society, which is happening, the more acceptance there will be but for now it seems a large contingent clings to the transvestite and pervert judgments.

I often wonder what my mom knew. I knew I liked women?s clothes, and she probably did too, but I didn?t know that there was an Alison in me until after my mother had passed. She told my wife before we were married that she was just glad that I ?turned out normal.? And my parents planned for me to be a girl...I'm told that there was even a sign that said "Welcome Home Sally" when they brought me home from the hospital! My mom definitely knew things, but maybe didn?t understand them any better than I did for many years. I often wonder now if all her talking to a girl while I was in her womb influenced my behaviors and natural inclinations.

For now the bottom line for me is that we live in a society where expressing our freedoms can have very damaging consequences. And I don?t know to what end it would help me to expose myself with an Alison-side anyway, although I do want to attend more gatherings with other Trans people and will seek oppornities to do that.

Hugs to you all!!