Hi Ariana, I’ve been on HRT for 3 years now and I have noticed a great reduction in sweating. My wife picked up on this too. She noticed that after a day of hard work together, she was soaked and my shirt was barely wet. I’ve also notice that I don’t really stink either. Nice problem, no? I also don’t wear deodorant most days, no reason to.
Remember though, this is just me. You may react differently than I did.
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!
Originally Posted by IleneD
My husband is a man (sorta), we had sex about an hour ago. I had my first orgasm, post surgery, that wasn't self inflicted! wow!
Last edited by Aprilrain; 09-23-2018 at 05:23 AM.
Unadulterated gutless fear of others opinion of me. So terribly sad and at this juncture, pathetically embarrassing.
Was it what I expected? No. It was much better.
I expected to lose a few friends, and I have lost three, long distance friends, that I know of. And one brother. I got over it, and on with my wonderful life. My life attitude is so much better, and I never think of suicide any more.
I expected to lose my clients (my work takes me into client's homes), and my major business (running a school). Neither happened.
I was told by my endo to expect breast development about one cup size less than my mother and maternal grandmother - and thats exactly what I have. I did not ask about the rest of my body, and if I had she would have said it will likely mirror theirs, too - and since the women in my family have small butts, no hips, but do have mid-riff fat - i have developed that, too. I've put on over 20# since I started HRT three years ago.
The biggest issue post-surgery for me was I couldn't restart my exercise routine for nearly six months. And it has been hard to lose the 10# I gained during those months. But I am committed to reclaiming my figure, and will keep working on that.
What would I do differently? I would have started counseling, with a therapist who specializes in working with gender issues, sooner. Could I have transitioned 20 years sooner? No, society was not as accepting then as it is now. And science did not know about genetics we now know.
But if I had read Jennifer Boylan's first book, "She's Not There", in the early 2000's when she wrote it, I would have transitioned many years sooner.
Before I transitioned I felt like a lurker when I dressed. After I transitioned its like my whole life is 'just normal'. I get up, use the restroom, shower, dress, go about my day, and rarely ever think about my body, my genitals, my clothes, other than picking out what I will wear that day, and why.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn
Thank you Persephone and Eryn, for helping me find and become my true self. Shalom Persephone, April 15, 2018.
I noticed these questions were asked near 4 years ago and I would love to hear some insight now on these same two questions.
Thank you in advance.
A) Is post transition life what you expected it to be?
B) If there were any advice you could give yourself pre-transition what would it be?
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Back to the Gypsy that I was !
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For me,
Post transition has been exactly what I expected it to be, no change to the way I live my life. Throughout my transition and afterwards, I have had non of the issues some TS ladies do/have. We don't live in a big metropolis and I find that most people only notice you if you draw attention to yourself.
The only thing I would advise myself would be to start hair removal earlier, once you are sure that you are going to be transition, even if its later rather than sooner. When you do start electrolysis, get some of the more painful areas treated at each session, it bloody hurts to have session after session on the painful areas.
Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said
The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another
A. Some say that I started transitioning 40 years ago when I completed electrolysis. At that time I certainly dreamed of living my life more authentically but I was convinced that I would never transition. The world I knew was completely unaccepting and intolerant. Even when I started HRT 20 years ago I was convinced that I could hold out forever. There was too much to lose. As it turned out, I couldn't hold out forever. When I transitioned I anticipated living a private life, in the shadows, minding my own business and left alone. Pretransition I really thought that some relationships would endure.
I was wrong about living a private life. I got involved and volunteered with organizations of all kinds including the Houston Rodeo and Habitat for Humanity. I have even met with lawmakers at the State Capital. Unfortunately I was also wrong about the relationships. I have only one old friend and no family after transition. However, I have many new friends, some of which have become my new family. That I did not expect.
The surgeries and recovery have been a pain in the butt, pun intended. I have spent a lot of time healing. I had never even thought about that beforehand.
B. I'm not sure that you can change one thing about the past without changing, and missing out on, a lot of things but, of course, I wish I could have transitioned much earlier. I wish I could have known earlier that I was even going to transition. It might have been helpful if I could have encouraged myself to maybe do more to minimize hurt, mine and others. I would also have assured myself that, despite obstacles and difficulties, there is a peace that can be achieved no other way.
Last edited by Jeri Ann; 10-01-2020 at 09:12 AM.
I would say that my post transition life is so much more than I expected. I am still amazed that I was able to do it after a lifetime of being in the closet. I would often say in the past that I just wanted to be able to take the trash out as Dorit! Now I move through my day as the women I am and accepted as such in the society that I am now a part of. What did surprise me was that I had many religious friends, mostly women, some for as long as 30 years, that totally rejected me when I came out. It was painful at first, but I accepted it as part of the cost of transitioning, and moved on to new friends and even a new, accepting, religious expression.
I was a bit apprehensive about my surgeries, wondering if I would regret such an irreversible act. Once again, I was surprised to see I how delighted I am in my body and grateful that I had the courage to do it. For me this was the ultimate confirmation that I am a transsexual women!
As to what I would do differently, I generally do not like to go on the path of "what if" and instead try to come to a place of acceptance of "what is." I would say as a minor issue that I would have liked to concentrated more on facial hair removal earlier on in my transition.
A. Is post transition life what I expected? I suppose that I am post transition, but maybe some would say no because I have yet to have GCS, not that it is a requirement of being TS, but it is in my future. However I did change my hormones 3+ years ago, and legally and socially transitioned 2+ years ago now, oh and had an orchi done last year. Thus being as I have now been full time for more than 2 years, I'm going to answer the question from that perspective........................ No post transition life is not what I expected. It is SO much better than I could have ever imagined. Because everything in my life changed for the better? Not really, my life is pretty much the same as it was before, only now I'm actually able to be me, and the freedom within that is huge. I expected to be fully shunned and to lose everything, friends, family, employment, etc. But really I have lost next to nothing. What I have gained though feels priceless.
B. I agree with some others, I would tell my pre-transition self to get herself to an electrologist immediately! That was most likely the toughest part of the first year after I socially transitioned as I had not even started it. Having to grow out my facial hair for about a week while trying to present as the best me possible was very challenging, and often left me in tears.
I completely agree with this, being TS is in our brains and not our genitals. I would add though that for me personally, and also for some other TS women, experiencing GCS is like going through a second transition!
I agree. My friend D.J. completely transitioned several years ago and has never taken hormones nor will she ever have surgery. Health issues prevent any of that. Regardless, she was recently referred to as one of the most successful women attorneys in Texas.. . . being TS is in our brains and not our genitals. I would add though that for me personally, and also for some other TS women, experiencing GCS is like going through a second transition!
Concerning GRS, I agree with Dorit. It is an experience that is hard to describe. The noise in your head stops. The battle/ quest/ struggle/ journey is complete leaving you feeling just that - complete.
Question, coming over from the CD forums for this one.
There's always that argument that Cross Dressers are just holding back on transitioning. Actually there's that joke about the difference between a CD and a TS being about 3 years. And if this whole subject is even broached, you'll get a bunch of CDs say nope, not never. They refuse to acknowledge it's a thing.
So my question to the folks transition, did you start off with some serious crossdressing as you found your way to understanding where you wanted to be?
Thanks
To answer your question I should say that trans people from today is different from few years ago.
Today information is abundant but i think that most of us started as Crossdressers.
Our perception on gender is what we see and the obvious difference between a woman and a man is how they dress.
Additionally to that, the deep rooted stereotype in,.especially men, that a man is "less man if is femenine" stop so many on do it. If you add religion issues, that are very strong in our minds, most of us do it in secret for years but to dress is not enough and we need the assurance and acceptance of the world around so we start going out.
The rest is history and it takes some guts to go against to what is deep rooted in our minds to accept and proceed into transition.
That's basically my experience.
Unfortunately there's that huge confused component of the difference between sex and gender and many Crossdressers fall into sex promiscuity thinking that to be a woman means to have sex with a man that add more confusion and secretism to the equation.
I personally believe that, especially on this website, there are many Crossdressers that resist, don't believe, don't know, or can't move forward to be their real one, for all the obstacle mentioned, to live as woman, so they are transgender.
A transgender born as one.
Last edited by Devi SM; 01-21-2022 at 11:09 AM.
HRT 042018; Full time 032019
Orchiectomy 062020; gender & name legal changed 102020
Electrolysis face begins 08052019, in genitals for GCS 062021
Breast augmentation surgery 012022
GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 042023;END TRANSITION
Thanks. Agreed, there's a lot of confusing scary obstacles to transition vs just CD
It's not as simple as that. Yes, the prospect of transition (in all it's details) is daunting for anyone who even flirts with the notion, but some of us know from an early age who we really are. Others, myself included, identify as cross-dresser, gender fluid, whatever before coming to grips with our identity. Just remember that gender identity may be a "spectrum", but not everyone is moving toward the same destination. Most cross-dressers are just that. A couple of friends here have found "non-binary" as the place they feel at peace.
No, not simple at all. When I tell be people "I'm complicated", I really mean it.
Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".
I was never into heavy crossdressing before the transition. I wanted to wear something from the Women's isle to get some comfort. I had few things here and there. Since the transition, I dress no differently than most woman I know.
Oh, I did the crossdressing thing for as long as I had the opportunity to, my intro post here not that many years ago is all about CDing.
I didn't think I was 'holding back' on transitioning, I did the 'just a man who like dresses' thing, but realizing that wanting/wishing to somehow magically wake up a woman your entire life means you're trans.
The whole Null Hypothecis deal.
That?s a great blog post. It sounded really familiar so I?m pretty sure I read it in the depths of dysphoria a few years ago. An article that nailed it for me on gender desire vs gender identity. I wish this article was around when my egg cracked?. https://medium.com/@kemenatan/gender...y-a334cb4eeec5
A great read, and lots to relate too - You can wish and want but reality sets in, born male and at this stage in life can only suppose what it would have been like and try to emulate the feminine ...........................Debra
I’m 50
I wasn’t born a male. I was born a trans woman.
Last edited by Nikki.; 01-22-2022 at 04:19 PM.
I would like to offer a different prospective. A true transgender or transsexual that was born with the brain anomaly never "cross-dressed!" It was for many of us the only way to express our true selves. When modern psychology and medicine began to understand people like us, it opened up a new world of possibilities of self expression that were once considered unacceptable or even a mental illness.
So I started wearing girls clothes at 4 years old, but I never cross-dressed.
I transitioned socially and medically at 70 years old.
I self accepted as transgender a couple years ago, but up til then I still thought of myself as a cross dresser. When I had makeup and pics done professionally the first time I captioned the first one 'first time seeing me' or 'glad to meet me', so maybe, yeah, I wasn't 'cross dressing' except all the times I was in guy mode.
Last edited by HelpMe,Rhonda; 01-24-2022 at 05:22 AM.
Coming over from the CD side of this site I find this discussion extremely interesting. Thanks
Crissy
Oh fun, label time. I have used many of them over my life:
child/teen - weirdo, freak, social misfit
20's - sexual fetishist
30's - transvestite
early 40's - cross dresser ----- see right here, I used cross dresser, lol
mid 40's - trans woman
now - woman/female
Fascinating discussion and full of lots of variations and similarities. Back in December 2012 and January 2013 when in therapy I seriously considered transitioning, but as I got to know more transwomen I realized that there was a poor match between my mental view and theirs. Wonderful women for sure, but it did not seem to fit me. When I first came out (August 2012) I did the "What category am I in?" dance and my initial fit seemed to be in what was then called androgynous (now mostly non-binary). That fits me quite well, but when my mind wanders over toward the female-like side the transition thinking pops in. I consider myself non-binary, but I always keep in mind that this is flexible thing and it can always shift in any direction. In a word, don't reject any possibility.
I agree with Dorit that how you are oriented in your gender is a function of certain brain configurations. It has little to do with your sex and the science shows that is very much the case. I strongly accept the findings of Dr. Daphna Joel (U. of Tel Aviv) Gender Mosaic Theory. Basically, our genders are a mosaic of female-like, male-like, and intermediate gender traits and characteristics and associated behaviors most of which are learned but are supported by the configuration of our brains as a result of genetic and environmental influences. And your personal mosaic changes as it revolves around a particular basic pattern of thinking and perception. In a sense, everybody's gender is a shape-shifter that has certain boundaries established by your genetics.
Most trans people seem to start out about the same way - curiosity and experimentation driven by some deeply seated "need." But in the course of our lives it all becomes more and more refined. Some find points that bring happiness and stability while others keep going and eventually find themselves completely reversed from what is the stereotypical and traditional expectation. Kind of a "If it fits wear it" kind of thing.
It is a beautiful thing to see a person find a place where they are happy, stable, and secure within themselves. It is where we should all end up with the full achievement of that which fits you best. If it is full transition or something less defined - it doesn't really matter. What matters is whether you are secure in that place. The flip side to that coin is that the neural mosaic can change and evolve and thus a stability at one point may last for awhile, possibly a long while, and then it may shift in a direction that is consistent with our basic configuration that defines the outline of our gender sense of self.
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