"Why don't more guys do this?..."

[sometimes_miss]

I think that most guys (around 90%??) probably DO try on women's clothes and/or makeup at least once.

Uh, no. This is simply your subconscious wishing that were so, in order for you to feel like you're 'normal' because everyone else is just like you.
Don't feel bad, this is a common experience for many who experience feelings way beyond what is considered just mildly unusual by the general population, much like many gay people just assume that everyone is at least 'a little gay', or has had at least some homosexual desires, or tried some type of homosexual intimate behavior. Not everyone is so 'curious'.

[Violetgray]

90% of men aren't thinking about this. At all. And that's OK. You do you.

I doubt this, actually. I think that which is a burning flame within us is at least a smoldering ember within most men.

[Sometimes Steffi]

There was a guy I knew, kind of a man;y man, but one time he said,

"Pantihose matt down the hair on my legs."

How would he know that. I can only think of one way.

[Larissa Cassandra]

Uh, no. This is simply your subconscious wishing that were so, in order for you to feel like you're 'normal' because everyone else is just like you.
Don't feel bad, this is a common experience for many who experience feelings way beyond what is considered just mildly unusual by the general population, much like many gay people just assume that everyone is at least 'a little gay', or has had at least some homosexual desires, or tried some type of homosexual intimate behavior. Not everyone is so 'curious'.

Uh, you don't know me, so please don't try to psychoanalyze me. I do not "wish" any such thing, consciously or unconsciously, and in my two posts I never said I did. And if you read my second post you'll see that I recognize that I'm not normal because most men do NOT crossdress and I do.

[Cheryl T]

Even if 100% of males did this. Even if it was just out of curiosity and a one time thing 99% would never admit it.
They could never give up the macho attitude and admit to the wonderful feeling of feminine clothing.

[Joanne108]

First let me say thanks! I didn't know my observation would stir up any extra conversation. I was looking at my reflection when I thought "Why don't more guys dress as woman especially if they can do it well and look great!?" I felt at that moment that I looked beautiful. So it is more like if you know you look great why wouldn't you do it again and again? I know that on some level my perception tells me that I actually look like an attractive woman encourages me to continue dressing as a woman.

[Larissa Cassandra]

Joanne, thank you for including that observation in your post! It's been interesting to see everyone's different views on this. Also, I agree with your entire post above, because I feel the same about the way I look when dressed as a woman. And the fact that my wife always tells me how pretty or cute I look adds to the enjoyment!!

[Lori Ann Westlake]

I have no idea how many boys try on women's clothes as a voluntary act, and wouldn't care to guess, though it could be a lot. This kind of experimentation is normal in young children, but usually that's all it is: an experiment. I never tried on women's underwear as a boy, though I did once try on my mother's nightdress when I was about five, possibly younger. It was just lying there on the bed next to me, so I tried it on. My mother came up and expressed surprise, but that's all. "Oh, I didn't know you were wearing my nightie," she said. I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was simply an experiment, since it happened to be there. Or maybe I wanted to "feel close to my mother," or something. Who knows? Anyway I don't recall any special feeling associated with it. I was also dressed as a certain female figure for a costume contest when I was about seven, Significantly, neither of these experiences prompted me to repeat them. I didn't start crossdressing until my early teens, and then it was initially for the sexual charge.

I agree with Gillian. It's just not valid to project our own quirks onto other people whose brains are different from our own. Many of these quirks, or the traits that cause them to develop, are innate. The brain is not a tabula rasa, a "blank slate" at birth. There's a lot more wetwired into it than we realize, and it varies from one individual to another. A fetish, for instance, may be formed by association during life experience, but the capacity to form a fetish is most likely present at birth.

One of the functions in our brain is the capacity for empathy. (Unless we're psychopaths, that is.) Empathy is a priceless talent that allows us to understand how other people think and feel--insofar as they're like ourselves. So we can typically proceed on this assumption of similarity, knowing that someone is probably excited at winning a prize, grieving at a death, surprised by an unexpected event, and so on. Perhaps that's what leads us to "project" parts of our own personalities onto others. But this mechanism only works as far as others are similar to ourselves. It doesn't work when others are different from ourselves.

So a gay guy might just as well ask why all guys aren't gay, or a masochist or a flasher ask why everybody doesn't do what they do. If most men don't crossdress, it's not generally because of embarrassment or social disapproval, Remember, we do it in SPITE of embarrassment and social disapproval, so why don't they? It just doesn't do anything for them the way it does for us, that's all.

[docrobbysherry]

In her "Another Snowday" post yesterday, Joanne108 asked this question, so I thought I'd start a thread to find out what you all think about it. Here's my take:

I think that most guys (around 90%??) probably DO try on women's clothes and/or makeup at least once. I can't imagine anyone not at least having some curiosity about what they would look like or what the clothes (especially lingerie!) would feel on them. Of this 90%, many (like us!) enjoy it greatly and go on to part-time or full-time crossdressing and/or discover that they are trans and follow that path.

I see two other groups in that 90%:

-those who have accepted society's taboo and (no matter how much they might have enjoyed their feminizing experience) would NEVER admit it to anyone and would never do it again

-those who would enjoy dressing en femme for a costume or joke, and that's enough for them, due to fear and embarrassment

The other 10% are those who absolutely would never even think about crossdressing (even for a costume or joke). I think these are probably the ignorant and intolerant macho guys who would be most likely to give us grief (or worse) when out in public.

I think it's interesting that u "think" in such round numbers, Larissa. Not 65 or 83% of men think like u but 90%. When in fact the actually statistics of men who do what we do is such a tiny fraction of the total. And, I don't think, I KNOW the reason why!

Because until my 50's I was a regular straight man. And, my only interest in women's clothing was getting women out of them! U know why I never tried on women's clothing until then? Because I never thot about doing it until then!

And, your opinion about men who dress in drag as a joke being closet dressers? My ex and I switched gender roles for a big Halloween. Me with a beard, cheesy wig and balloon boobs. But, a risque dress, nylons, and hi heels. And, wearing that outfit made such an impression on me that it was 10 years after I began dressing that I remembered that nite at all!

[CynthiaD]

It wasn't until I was about 10 or 12 that I realized that other boys didn't want to sneak into their mother's closet and borrow her clothes. It seemed really weird to me that they didn't. To some degree, it still does.

That's why I like this place. Everybody's so normal.

[ziggie]

Back to the original question "why don't more guys do this", I have to admit that I have not the foggiest idea. Around 100 years ago it was unusual (and even illegal) for women to dress as men. A few brave souls broke the taboo and over a long period of time women were granted the right to wear what they want - at least to some extent. Perhaps at some time in the future the same freedom will be granted to men. I doubt that corsets and bras will become common for men unless styles change drastically, but skirts, blouses, leggings and the like are comfortable and could well drift into the mainstream.

I'm allowed to dream, aren't I?

[alwayshave]

I have dressed since I was about 4 years olds. Maybe it's something imprinted that early whether we act on that early or not.