Continuing progress with me and my wife

[Bluesman]

I continue to make progress in being able to dress openly and comfortably around my wife. I have spent part of each of the last several days with her at home wearing a slip dress or frock or skirt and blouse, panties of course, toenails painted. At times I've even worn small breast enhancers; I'm not sure whether she noticed or not. I sometimes sleep in a chemise and usually would put on a robe over in the morning while we read the paper and have coffee, but today I came downstairs in my white silk chemise and she didn't bat an eye. I'm still trying to keep it relatively low key; I don't usually wear a bra and forms around her and generally not jewelry, shoes or make-up, other than sometimes lipstick (that she gave me!). I'll go all out if she's away for a while and either change into male clothing or simpler female attire. I still change into man-mode for dinner and the evening at home. I don't need or want to dress all the time but I am closer than ever to being able to dress as I want when I want. I would love to stay dressed for our evenings sometime and I keep hoping at some point she will either suggest I do so (probably won't happen) or at least say, "You don't need to change." Right now she's out on a home tour for several hours. I'm in my new red body-con long frock, panties, large breast forms, 3 inch heels, pearl necklace and bracelets (hers; she doesn't mind be borrowing them), dangly pearl earrings (mine). Bright red toenails, lipstick and mascara. When she texts me she's on the way home will I change or stay dressed as I am???? I don't want to push the envelope too far. Probably change would be best, but I'll see how I feel when the time comes. Sometimes I'm ready to change anyway, so then there's no issue either way.

[Kris Burton]

From the sound of your post, it seems like your wife has been ready for more "open" dressing for a while. Still, I would make sure she were ready to see you fully en femme before actually doing it. Have you discussed that possibility? It might be too much of a surprise if she were not, and things could go south real fast.

[Bluesman]

Kris, she has seen me fully en femme (as fully as I go) so it's not that it would be a surprise for her, but more just maybe too much for now.

[Heather76]

"When she texts me she's on the way home will I change or stay dressed as I am?"

My wife and I always call one another when one of us has been gone for a while and are about to head home. In actuality, she's telling me (and she knows this) how long I have before I need to get in male mode if I need to come outside to help carry packages/groceries in. If I don't need to go outside, I remain dressed however I am - sometimes male mode and sometimes en femme. If I'm wearing a dress, I will put on male slacks and a shirt (during daytime hours) but continue wearing a bra and forms. Based on my experience, I would suggest asking her if she'd mind if you dressed after supper as the 2 of you settle into your evening routine (watching TV, reading a book, etc) whatever that might be. If she doesn't want you to dress, you've lost nothing and have maybe gained a bit more of her respect regarding CDing for having asked. If she says go ahead, you've also gained a bit more of her respect for having asked as well as knowing it's now okay. Either way, you both win. I received that "permission" and will dress about 8 - 9 p.m. 2 or 3 evenings a week. I do NOT wear makeup, jewelry, or a wig in front of her at this point per her request.

[RADER]

My Wife was OK with my dressing, however I took it real slow. I found that If I went to far to fast, she went on overload.
Good luck.

[NancySue]

Kris and Rader are spot on to which I totally agree, from experience. Patience has its rewards. The pink fog is relentless and unforgiving. Go slow. Talk.

[Bluesman]

Oh, believe me, I've learned from experience to go slow! It's taken me some 30 years to get to the degree of openness and acceptance (both from my wife and for myself) that we have now. I made a few too big steps early on so I try very hard to proceed at a reasonable pace. Even though I know I could have stayed dressed today and it would have been "okay," I chose to change when she texted me she was on the way home. I'd gotten my "fix" in and wanted to give her a break. Heather, my wife and I have a similar arrangement as you do, I think. Most of the time I will change before she gets home even though she has actually told me I don't need to (interestingly enough when she said that to me I hadn't been dressing and wasn't changing but she heard me going up the stairs to our bedroom when she got home and thought that's what I was doing). I have also, on a few occasions asked her permission to dress in the evening and she's usually said okay, but I can tell she doesn't really enjoy it and I kind of feel like I'm hijacking our time together. Not to say I won't make the request again, but I do try to balance my desires with hers. If I have a really strong urge to dress in those circumstances, I'll go for it, but most of the time it's not that urgent. More like be nice to do, but not necessary. I'm just happy that I don't have to hide anything and can dress if I really want to. Or not.

[Maria 60]

From what I'm reading it sounds like your taking the right approach of not pushing the envelope. Till today my wife still admits that worst part of the past with my dressing was when I was aggressive. She was much more suggestive and willing to help when I was laying back a little. Sometimes it feels like we want to jump that big wall but then we realized it's better to jump little walls, it will take longer but it's worth it. I believe it's possible to achieve a win, win situation at home but though my experience it has to be at there pace. Hopefully we will be hearing more positive post from you in the future, I believe your going to be ok you have a great attitude for going forward.

[alwayshave]

Bluesman, Good for you.

[Teresa.Smith.VA]

The advice you are getting about the "pace or frequency" of your dressing in femme is really good advice. I would add that it also applies to how frequently your wife is exposed to the mere subject matter connected to CDing. To her, the frequency of your thinking about, talking about, or referring to CDing can add up to a fast pace or barrage of attention that some women will find objectionable.

[Bluesman]

Yesterday, wife went out for a bike ride which is usually good for 2 hours or so, and we usually text each other when we're heading home (I'm a cyclist as well). So once she left I put on panties, bra and small forms, twist front mini-dress, leggings, and light make-up (base, blush, mascara, lipstick) earrings, necklace and bracelets, bare feet with red toenails and went about vacuuming (which is why I didn't put on heels) the upstairs of our home, wearing earbuds so I'd be sure to hear her text alert. After about an hour I went down to our attached garage to get some cleaning supplies. When I opened the door the garage door was all the way up, sunlight streaming in. Oops. I immediately pulled the door closed just enough not to be seen from the outside and my wife says in a light hearted way, "Are you hiding?" I peeked out so she could catch a glimpse of me and said "Well, you know...". She asked me could she get me something and I just said I'll get it once the garage is closed. So she closed the garage and I opened the door and went into the garage in full femme mode (except for heels). She just said, "Well, look at you!" I said, "Yeah, I wasn't expecting you back so soon and you didn't text, so..." She said, "Sorry, I was going to but I thought you'd hear the garage door opening. But you don't need to change anyway. And is that a new dress? It's cute." I said, "No, you've seen it before." "Oh yeah, I just haven't seen it with the leggings... it looks nice." She didn't say anything about the makeup, I don't know if she noticed or not (like I said, it was fairly light). No awkwardness or embarrassment. So we both headed back upstairs and I went back to vacuuming while she rested. By this time it was about 5:00pm, not too much longer to cocktails and dinner. I stayed dressed, finished vacuuming, then sat with her and we chatted. I'm thinking, here's the perfect opportunity to stay dressed for our evening (I mean, she's already said I don't have to change, right?) but I still decided to give her the option, so when she got up to take a shower I asked her if she would like me to change before dinner, thinking (hoping) she would say no, you don't need to. Instead she said, "Yes, thank you for asking." Oh well, at least I tried! So while she showered I changed into shorts and t-shirt, wiped of the make-up, and we had our usual evening. But I did put on a chemise for bed and we had a bit of physical intimacy before falling asleep still in my chemise, so all in all, a pretty good day, if anti-climactic. She left early this morning for a class and then having her nails done, a good four hours to be away. I was awake and still in my chemise as we said goodbye. I stayed in my chemise for a while, then changed into a skirt and blouse, panties/bra/large forms, make-up again, jewelry and this time wedge heels until she texted me she's on the way home and I changed back to male mode again. Lot of clothes changing going on!

[suzanne]

Good for you!!! You must be making her feel at ease with your feminine side. Did you accomplish this by talking it over with her, as most members here would suggest? Or did you just wear what you felt like, thereby showing her that nothing bad happens or that your personality doesn't change much when dressed? I think the latter is the hard way, but it's the route I was forced to take.

I also see in your last post that you are very considerate of your wife's feelings on the matter, dressing only to a level she's comfortable with. That helps a lot. Congratulations on handling your situation so masterfully.

[Bluesman]

Thank you, Suzanne. It's been a combination of the two. We've talked it over earlier on but now it's just kind of evolving as we go. I do try to be considerate of her feelings and she appreciates that. She knows she can ask me to change into "boy mode" any time and I will do so. In fact, that happened last night. She had a remote video meeting which would keep her in our study for two hours or so. I told her to text me when it was close to the end and I would get dinner going and make sure I was dressed appropriately (meaning in 'boy mode'). I dressed completely and occupied myself watching TV and playing my guitar. She came out without warning. We chatted a little bit about the meeting (it was a stressful meeting) and I asked if she was ready for her cocktail (I already had mine) and she said yes but would I mind changing into boy mode. I said of course not, and we both went to the bedroom to change (she out of her business attire, me out of my femme attire). She commented on my dress (it was a new one she hadn't seen before), she had me turn around and model it, looked at the construction and complimented me on it. I even had her unzip me from the back. That was great! She still hasn't mentioned my makeup and I didn't remove it. I don't know if she just hasn't noticed it or if she just takes it for granted and is okay with it. I was actually glad she didn't text me first as I'd been wanting her to see this dress but I wasn't comfortable enough to just put it on for her. And I was very pleased with her reaction!