Sorry, Robin,
I believe this falls under the category of the "drip drip drip" method of trying to get your wife on board, and pretty soon she feels she is drowning. Since she thinks that you are pushing/trying to take it up a notch, your thought to back off is probably the right choice for you at this time. Maybe a new talk is in order in the near future. She is obviously concerned and needs some information and reassurance.
I don't know what your habit of dressing is: Secret? At home only? Does she see you CDed? Do you go out CDed? Some wives feel that pierced ears are a constant and permanent reminder that their man is a CDer. If she isn't on board, then you may find roadblocks at anything you want to do that she doesn't already know that you are doing.
One question to ask yourself because she may wonder: Do you intend to wear earrings while in man mode? (studs or whatever?) or is it just to wear earrings while CD'ed?
Maybe think on your own how you want to proceed with any future talks and/or negotiations.
