Marissa
My deepest sympathy. I know how difficult it is to be in your situation. There are so few women that understand and really accept our desire to dress. I've been thru 2 divorces one knew about my fem fashion and verbally accepted and supported it. I sometime think it was a facade and probably a reason for our divorce. I was very guarded from that point on and even when I came out to a very liberal college professor who I loved and still hold dear to my heart. After a year I thought if anyone would be accepting it would have been her. I did a full disclosure and she spoke to me twice after that. I cant say I don't miss her but I know I could never live in the closet with a significant other. My desire and need to express my fem side is to strong to be restrained by stipulations.
We all make choices and set boundaries that we are willing to live by. Know who you are, Know what your needs are, and know what you're willing to sacrifice for the things you desire most. Make sure you talk to your wife and she is absolute in her needs and desires. Work on compromises to save the relationships if it is of equal value to both of you. My sinical self would ask if she isn't looking for a way out of the relationship without being the bad guy. The stress of any relationship is huge and every relationship is different. Maybe you should go to couples counseling. You both have issues with your desire to dress that affect the relationship.

Also Know that kids know when there is stress and underlying discomfort in the household. All they want is acceptance and love. My daughter once told me I don't care that you and mom don't get along and it is good that you are apart, I just need to know that you both love me and I'm not going to lose my dad or mom in the divorce. Kids are adaptable especially young ones.
Understand I'm not telling you to go separate ways. First work on a solution that works for both of you if you can.

If not then remember what my grandfather used to say. It's better to be alone than to be in bad or hostile company. You both have a right to some happiness.

You have my upmost understanding. I wish you the best on whatever path you travel. Every journey starts with the first step so your choice, stand still or step forward.

Hugs RAVen