I wonder if anyone else has this experience.
I've always seen myself, as other threads in this forum have discussed, as a MIAD (man in a dress). No matter what I did, wore, covered up, smeared on, etc., I always felt like a MAID and not the female I wanted to be.
In the 50+ years of dressing, I had a magic moment only once. Prior to this moment, I had desperately tried to get to the point of losing the MAID feeling if only for a couple of hours, but I could never get there completely.
One night at home I was totally dressed, shoulder length wig in perfect placement, light makeup, lipstick and mascara, large black framed glasses, a cute white lace chemise with a pink waist sash tied in a bow in the front, white lace bra and forms hanging in the correct spot on my chest. With all that and being late at night with low light in the house, my moment happened. When I looked in the full-length mirror, I did not see my male self anymore. Not a trace of me, it was stunning, the overly male features of my face were gone, my male body was gone. I could not take my eyes off the whole image I was seeing, face, hair, body all of it suddenly new and real. It was her, that female I knew and sensed my entire life, always buried deep inside, had come out and was presenting to me in the mirror. I did not recognize myself and instantly felt feminine and beautiful.
It lasted for a few minutes at most, I?d walk around the house and come back to the mirror and my inner female self, and her image began slowly wearing off. I never could get that complete magic moment again, no matter how I tried to open that portal for my inner female taking over my entire consciousness again. I would always see or sense some part of my maleness. Maybe it's impossible for me and I'm not sure if anyone else gets there 100%. I wonder if anyone else out there can relate to this?