I searched for "Why?" for about 50 years and never found the answer.
I finally just gave up and accepted myself for who I am.
I went through the same thing when I came out to my wife. I'm not gay, I'm not TS, I'm not looking to transition or run off to join the circus (LOL). I don't know WHY so I can't tell you. Personally I believe it's genetic. There are 3 male cousins in my family around my age and all are gay, I crossdress. It has to be genetic as far as I'm concerned. I was never abused or dressed as a girl when little or any of that. I simply enjoy expressing my femininity in this way.
Good luck with your search. Mine reached a dead end and I am so much happier now that I've stopped looking.
