She?s back?

[_jenni_]

Guh. It?s ok but odd. After all these years it?s just awkward. Yes it?s a DADT relationship. Yes I?ve told her my provocations but maybe not to the complete depth, hence the DADT. After about 3 years of unrelated circumstances the wife?s decided she?s sleeping in the bedroom again?not that I really mind. Aside from the snoring, sleep talking and constant tossing?and figuring out how to dress in the morning. I?d grown accustomed to sleeping the way I?d prefer. Besides it?s not like there are any adult opportunities to look forward to as she has no interest those activities and honestly never has.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenni, Such is Life,

[docrobbysherry]

And, you're married, why?

[Sometimes Steffi]

My wife is similar to yours, hence the DADT.

She does not accept that I CD but tolerates is as long as she doesn't have to see it. That makes the logistics of going out en femme very difficult. It is even more difficult to pack up my stuff to go to Keystone. I declare my room off limits while I packing up.

My wife has been sleeping in a different bedroom for over a decade now. The "reason" is the noise from my CPAP device, but I think the real reason is my crossdressing.

I would have to make some adjustments if she wanted to move back to the communal bed, as I am currently lying in bed wearing a bra and C-cup breast forms. But, I'd do it in a New York minute just to regain some of the intimacy (read cuddling) that's been lost due to sleeping separately.

And my response to the Doc's question of why I remain married: Inertia. A body at rest remains at rest unless acted upon by an outside force.

[Helen_Highwater]

Aside from the snoring, sleep talking and constant tossing?

Yep know what you mean and I'd add duvet hogging to the list. The number of times I woke up in the middle of the night freezing cold as the duvet was all on her side of the bed....

And to also answer Sherry's question. A marriage isn't just about intimacy. Sharing so many other aspects of life is what makes up the big parts of a relationship.

[Sophie_Rose]

I get where you're coming from?when you've gotten used to a certain way of doing things, it can feel strange when things change, especially if intimacy's not really on the table. I?ve been in a situation where routines were set, and a shift like that feels more awkward than anything. If it's bothering you, maybe it?s worth having another honest conversation, but I know that can be tough, especially with the whole DADT thing. It's all about finding that balance where both of you feel comfortable, even if it takes time.

[_jenni_]

Funny you mention duvet hogging I suggested that with her return to the bed we could institute the Scandinavian sleep method of separate sheets and blankets?that lit a fuse I wasn?t expecting. Got the stink eye for two days and an empty bed. SMH.