Maybe I'm too sensitive ??

[Nyla F]

Hi Cheryl,

In my experience, quite often we will react emotionally to something another person does and then use these negative emotions as evidence of the other person's wrong doing. We must step back and recognize our own emotions, and try to understand what it is that triggered the emotions. Are your feelings about Jonathan Van Ness and feeling down be connected to the struggles you mentioned?

[DAVIDA]

Just a warning on the rules covering criticism of others and will get this thread closed if it continues.
Ridiculing members/non-members, or the manner in which they express themselves.

[Lucy Long Legs]

I saw this article too, as well as the loathsome comments which followed. My only problem was the beard and hairy chest which I would avoid at all costs. It made me think, but then I continued my analysis of what we do - which of course harms nobody.
Unlike Jonathan, I am heterosexual, much to everyone's surprise (especially my wife's) as I am lacking in most masculine characteristics. As well as being seriously underendowed, I have always had a very feminine appearance, which caused problems at school, but one I discovered dressing, this became a great advantage and I can easily present as a woman. I regard dressing as a celebration of my femininity and embrace it enthusiastically.
Surprisingly, I am not attracted to men - although I had a little wobble on New Year's Eve when I was hit on by a very attractive man - I was fascinated to see how different our physiques were, but it went no further than a fumble.
The picture of Jonathan was on a "queer" page but my impression is that most us here do not fall into that category.
The analysis I refer to, is with regard to my regular visits to a lady therapist who has helped clear up my question about why I am driven to present as a woman on regular occasions. I take great trouble over details of dress, makeup and appearance en femme which I really don't in drab, but at the root of it all is my physical lack of masculinity which, now, doesn't bother me one bit and gives me great joy.

[DianeT]

I'd like to add that, even if I absolutely don't think it is the case here, it would not be the end of the world if someone mocked us as crossdressers. Mockery doesn't equate hate. People mock a lot of other people for fun, that's human nature. We are not special. When I do my full nines in front of a mirror and try to discipline my wig or set my breast forms right, yes, there is often something to laugh at. No big deal. But anyway, in the example given, this guy presented himself at his best and clearly not as a CD caricature.

[Jillcder]

Cheryl, I agree with you it was very disheartening to read so many negative and hateful comments about this individual. I consider myself a very strong individual but I got that sick to my stomach feeling while reading some of the comments i guess us crossdressers are not anywhere near being accepted if we go by this latest example of man wearing a dress. Keep your chin up Cheryl life is good.

[CarlaWestin]

This new age acceptance or the perception thereof does push my traditional society generated cringe buttons a bit but, I'm older.
And it is Hollywood, right? Many years ago Katherine Hepburn got the same result when she dared to wear pants.

[Sabine Janus]

Troglodytes die hard, but we're getting there.

This generation is inching the ball down the field. Look at Harry styles, Lil Nas X, Ed Shreenan.

Ignore the haters. Live life.

I liked the Hepburn reference.

SJ

[Cheryl T]

Cheryl, I wasn't trying to offend u and possibly I misunderstood your comment?

When u said, "--- see this and it just reinforces their belief that we are all sick and perverted."

I assumed u were giving us your opinion of what others would think of his appearance. Was I wrong?

I was not giving my opinion of him or his outfit.
I was saying that the haters use this as cannon fodder to destroy us. All it does is make it more difficult for someone like me to express myself. We all become the target of their hatred when they see something like this. It may advance his position but does nothing for the rest of us.

[kimdl93]

I have to agree that the fellow at Golden Globes might be viewed by some as a pioneer, but can just as easily become yet another provocation for those who would rather we simply did not exist. To be honest, I feel concern over the more highly sexualized and provocatively dressed participants in annual Pride events. I do not consider myself particularly prudish but I do worry about some of the images being presented to the public. So, I guess I am a prude

[SaraLin]

Ok, OK - y'all got me curious enough to go look up a picture of him.

I wasn't sure what I expected to see, but I definitely was surprised.

He actually looks good in that dress. "who woulda thot?"

More power to him, even though it's not a look I'd ever strive for (the beard and short hair. The dress gorgeous!)

[Michelle_G]

Rock on, you do you Boo! Me personally, just not a fan of the facial and chest hair with the dress.

[snoostrawberry]

I admire his courage to put it out there because it can be very polarizing. I do prefer how someone like Harry Styles uses women's fashion, just seems more elegant maybe? i don't know, everyone is on their own journey with what is acceptable to them.

[JohnH]

I personally applaud Jonathan Van Ness of wearing a dress as a man.

I have been on estrogen for over 13 years and have developed a feminine figure and appearance, and so I present like a woman with my dresses. And yet I still regard myself as a man, as I have XY chromosomes. That's why I use my masculine name.
I wish more men who choose feminine presentations would keep their masculine name and gender designations so that men in general would get out of the deep rut of coats and ties for formal wear and explore alternatives.

John