Well, LIanaT - Other than getting "read the riot act" by my parents and grandparents after getting caught (separate incidents) - not much really. I learned to hide it well.
BUT
indirectly, I was. My formative years were the 50's / 60's in rural New England. Back then such behavior was totally taboo and any mention -by anyone- about it was harsh and negative. What choice did I have but to accept and adopt that negative view of myself? I figured that there was something wrong with me and I allowed this self hate to destroy any sense of self worth.
In a very real sense, I was probably my worst abuser.
It's taken me a very long to time to learn to at least like myself again, and I'm still working on it.
You're not alone, hon.
And bless your wife. It sounds like you've found a true gem.
