Why do we do this.....

[sweetdreams]

I have a bit of a pink fog going right now. Haven't really dressed up much at all for several months and now it's coming on strong. I've been doing some reading and thinking about the CD experience. In particular a recurring question that we've all asked at one time or another is why we do this. This is a question that has been asked on this site many time. I have a theory! No proof or evidence I can point to, but simply an idea that fits the puzzle logically.

Let's talk about genetics. Yea I know some of you might be rolling your eyes but bare with me. Sure maybe I'm looking for a scapegoat so I can point to, something out of my control that I can pin this on. I assure you this isn't my motivation. I'm fine accepting my CDing as mine to own. I'm fairly comfortable with my behaviour.

When we look at genetics there are a couple of things needing to be considered. There's the DNA and genes that represent the hardware of genetics. The other thing is the epigenetics which can be thought of as the software. Epigenetics explains things that are inherent in living things and provide certain behaviours and traits. A duck inherently knows it?s a duck and not a cat. As it grows it inherently knows how to paddle it's feet to swim, how to quack, eventually that it can fly, it doesn't try to climb a tree like a cat. Cats don't have these. Cats generally (inherently dislike water), and don't try to fly.

So what if there was a feminine gene (more realistically a set of genes) that can be turned on or off by epigenetics. At birth (and probably in the womb) hormones work their magic and perform their gene switching according to the sex of the fetus. For girls the female genes are turned on and lead to inherent female characteristics and behaviours. Girls are drawn to the many behaviours females exhibit (i.e. primping and preening, mothering, a strong desire/ability to express themselves verbally). Things that typical males don't exhibit.

What if some female genes in our brains got turned on for some reason and cause us to exhibit some of these traits? Our epigenetics and maybe hormones turned on some of the female genes driving our behaviours. Hmmmm?.

The thing I like about this theory is the nature of the behaviour we exhibit bubbles up through our brains uncontrollably. We don't simply wake up one morning and think "aha I have a great idea, let's dress like a girl". The behaviour bubbles up through our psyche. It's automatic. We can't seem to resist it like other habits, it seems inherent as part of our being. We are like moths drawn to a flame (more epigenetics at play). Many of us get wired up as small children. It's as if something got turned on at that stage of our development as humans, and there it is.

Again Just a theory gurls. Absolutely no research supporting this. Just something to ponder on.

Thoughts?

[Kayy]

This is an interesting question, and reminded mo of the search for a gay gene (or genes) which I first heard about many years ago (in the 1990s). I did a quick web search and found an article from the Washington Post (2019) which said that research shows that while genes may play a role in determining same sex relationships, they are not that significant, and that social and environmental factors are likely more important. It’s behind a pay wall, so I could only read the headlines. For many years I went round and round in circles trying to work out why I had the urge to dress, in the end I gave up and just decided to accept it is who I am: genes or not, I really don’t mind!

Hugs
Kayy

[Helen_Highwater]

" Girls are drawn to the many behaviours females exhibit (i.e. primping and preening, mothering, a strong desire/ability to express themselves verbally)."

There's considerable evidence that those behaviours are as much learned as ingrained at birth. Boys wear blue girls wear pink so of thing. Take away that sort of social conditioning and certainly in pre puberty children there is little that separates their behaviours. How fast they can run, physical strength has more to do with size that gender.

If there is a gene, something in our stem cells that draws us to our behaviour, something akin to what makes someone gay then it puts a whole new facet to the debate about Trans people. It makes abig hole in the, "there are only two genders" claim.

[Philippa Jane]

Take away the testosterone and flood the body with oestrogen and I imagine the brain can start to recognise female traits that have been buried deep from the womb.
The change in breast tissue, the slowing of hair growth, the displacement of fat in the body.
Then we get to how the emotions change. Empathy, nurturing and the need to feel connected to other women.
Just a thought on my part.

[kimdl93]

There is a growing body of evidence that supports genetic, epigenetic and environmental factors contributing to variations in gender identity. Add on top of that the potential for positive feedback loops of dopamine release associated with behaviors. I suspect that our cross dressing can be a product of any combination of such factors.

[sometimes_miss]

Basically, it all comes down to feeling out of place as a male, so we take anything we can, to resolve the conflicting feelings we have between our actual sex, and what our mind tells us we are. For many, it just winds up using crossdressing to assuage any TG feelings we may have.
This could be from an assortment of reasons, so many of which, that the search for the one, true, reason for transgender and crossdressing will always wind up in failure. Some are born that way. Some (me) were conditioned to believe that we were actually the opposite sex when growing up, and, just like a religion, when it is constantly reinforced, we just can't NOT believe it. And then we might even start looking for other outside influences which confirm the fictitious belief (as I did, and, expecting to find them, I found them, just like Senator Joseph McCarthy found all the communists he was expecting to find back in the 1950's). Unfortunately, most men cannot accept that they are feminine in any way, leading to the tremendous gender identity dysphoria they may experience, once they experience ANY feelings which they believe are only appropriate for the opposite sex. This can result in violence against any male which they see as 'having allowed' themselves to indulge in feminine behaviors, because they cannot stand even the idea that they, themselves, might not be the 'all male, all masculine, macho man' that they feel they need to be, so they want to completely eliminate the existence of any feminine male whose existence reminds them of that which they cannot accept. These people may perpetually walk around in a delusional state, preferring to believe that magic or divine intervention makes them want to dress or behave like women, when all it is, is a normal variation in human behavior. Something like 2.5% of all men crossdress, and a little less than 1% are supposedly TS (though those counts are quite hard to come by, as the members of these groups are often quite careful not to out themselves!).
I'm open to new information, though, so if you think you've discovered anything, I'd be happy to read whatever you come up with. PM me if you wish.

[Charlyne]

Sweet dreams,

Sweetdreams,

To me you are right on with your theory. You make more sense than anything I have ever read. Thank you, Thank you.

[Karren H]

Interesting but, I gave up trying to figure it out decades ago. And I’m glad I did. Even if i found THE answer it would not change anything in the past or really anything going forward, especially with the amount of forward time remaining shrinking daily. So I remain happily ignorant, accepting it is what it is and try to focus on enjoying my remaining time. But that is just me.

[Teri Ray]

I, like Karen. gave up pondering the "Why do I do this?" question long ago. Giving up that question and just accepting it as part of me has provided a lot of peace for me.

[alwayshave]

I like others, have given up asking why. It is a compulsion I have always had. Not sure why. No longer care why.

[Traci H]

Like Karren, Teri, and Jamie, I too have given up on trying to resolve this question. Every once in a while it will pop back into my head, and then I realize once again the answer is beyond my understanding. I might as well be trying to comprehend the multitude of universes or the end of time.

So I work on incorporating it into my life without destroying my unaccepting family. It?s a balancing act for sure, and I walk the tightrope each day.

[Raychel]

Why do we do this.....

People have been trying to figure this out for as many years as people have cross-dressed.
And I believe why there is no real answer is there are as many reasons as there are crossdressers.

Sure there are some that have genetics involved. And there are some that epigenetics was the reason.
I guess the second category is where I would be.
Really it does not matter, As long as you are able to accept this is who you are, and can enjoy your life.

For me, It all started out as sexual and fetish thing for me as a young boy. Not knowing at the time
how slippery of a slope that was. Over the years, It became more that just the fetish, I found that in
fact I was way more comfortable dressed in women's clothes. And now if anyone were to look thru my
dresser drawers and closets, that would be proven for sure. I have very few men's clothes. but my Women's
clothes are everywhere. I actually may have more sets of breast forms than I do have men's short pants.
Definitely more than I have men's underwear. I have none.

Just my thoughts.

[CarlaWestin]

My question is, why not? It's summer and there's nothing like wandering about in a breezy lace dress.

[Jenn A116]

Yet another response in the vein of just accepting it. It's me and that's a good enough answer.

[docrobbysherry]

There r many scientific reasons, SD. But, u can look them up!

We r not all like u. I was a regular male into my 50's. Never once thot of trying on women's things before then!

To answer your question: I dress because I can!

As I live alone now. Many dressers don't and can't do that!

[NancySue]

After years of research, reading, etc. long ago I threw in the towel. Common sense tells me it has to have something to do with genetics. I sure isn?t taught. I understand before we?re born we?re all female, then at some time the X and Y?s divide. All I know is at a young age, the feelings that followed my first sight and touch of nylons was beyond control or description. To this day slipping on nylon stockings still brings that smile

[jacques]

Nature or Nurture?
I think crossdressing is probably not in our DNA. The attraction to modern women's clothing could not evolve fast enough.
luv J

[Stephanie47]

As I have stated many times here and elsewhere my PTSD counselor for war related issues is of the opinion that each man or woman has some genetic makeup of the opposite sex; in some it is more than others. Perhaps, that explains the wide range of sexual identity and sexual preferences. I think life experience may have something to do with how a person's dna rises and falls to the occasion. As a little kid I had zero need or interest in girls. It was sports and rolling in the dirt. It wasn't until puberty that an interest in girls arose and also wearing women's clothing. That did not compute: horny guys and wearing women's attire, especially in the 1960's.

Fast forward to my early 20's when I ended up being an infantryman in Vietnam. I had no interest in any issues of sex: preference or identity. It was all "manly" things to stay alive. Later, when combat PTSD issues arose I was drawn to emulating a woman. It offered some escape. While others I know self medicated with drugs and alcohol, for me it was emulating a woman. In both gender roles I always feel comfortable.

[Sherry Ann Evans]

I assume it's just how our brains are wired, but who knows? I'm not a scientist.

I do know that, as a young child, I was bullied by just about everyone. Not just in school: mom always said how she wanted a girl, and dad constantly called me a little nerd, sissy, or wimp.

So congrats, this is what you get, a grown middle-aged man who yearns to satisfy everyone as quirky Sherry Ann.

My salvation is my wife, who truly accepts me as I am. Without her, I'd be up a creek.

[Shelly Preston]

I think it has to be something genetic.

The vast majority if this community knew they were different before getting anywhere near puberty and being driven by hormones.

It has yet to be discovered why. I also remember when they said the smallest thing in the universe was an atom.

[Debs]

Not sure why I do it ?, its a mystery (theres a song in there somewhere ), but I love doing it, I cant stop it, never whant to , never will, cost me relationships, BUT THE DRIVE IS THERE !!!!, just love it girls.

[abby054]

For me, Rhonda Williams said it best: it is an escape and a pleasant one at that.

[CynthiaD]

It’s an easy question to ask: What makes me behave this way? Is it nature? Is it nurture? Some combination of the two? My view is that it is none of the above. I behave the way I do because I want to, and for no other reason. I have free will. Nothing makes me do anything. Why do I love crossdressing so much? Because, for me, it’s the right thing to do.

[Geena75]

For me I think it relates to my personal/emotional situation growing up. I was the younger sibling by 4 years, and I was likewise younger than the other boys in the neighborhood. I was kept in my place as the little kid, and developed an almost debilitating humility. I usually regarded myself as the "weird kid" and it didn't help that whenever I asserted myself I was promptly put back in my place. The only other kids around with an age equivalency was the family across the road who had 5 girls. It was fun doing stuff with them -- gender never really was a concern.

Another influence was that it was the 60's -- age of short skirts and pantyhose. While I never regarded myself as good looking, I was drawn to the beautiful women I would see on TV, including dancers and figure skaters, probably secretly wishing I could look like them. It only figures that I would one day try on pantyhose and look at my legs in the mirror. Once that threshold was crossed, the next steps became possible until over 50 years later Geena fully emerged. I'm still keeping it secret, but I do respond to the lure of looking "pretty(?)".

[JenniferR771]

I was small, skinny and shy as a kid. Older brother bullied me.
Then when home alone I loved to look at the lingerie ads in the Sears catalog.
And one day, I tried on my mother's bra from the clothes hamper--and later her girdle and nylons.
I did not date much and reasoned that if I told a girl about my ideas she would drop me immediately. My secret. Combined with self-satisfaction at times.
15 years later I met my wife and eventually we got married.
20 years later she caught me wearing a dress and her wig. She came home from work early. Whoops.
She is slightly accepting now. Trying to be nice and appreciate her understanding.
Support group meets twice a month.