The problems of living on your own.

[Philippa Jane]

Last week I had to go for a day procedure.
No big deal as it was just precautionary.
I was not allowed to wear any jewellery but nothing was said about makeup. Wearing loose clothes and nicely made up (daytime wear) I presented at 8am to the hospital reception. I completed the sign in paperwork and was sent to the day unit. More paperwork and then off to see the nurse and get out of my clothes and into a gown. More paperwork and then off to the waiting room by which time I was getting cold. The wonderful nurse brought me 2 heated blankets.
Not much later I was taken into the holding area and given a cubicle with a bed.

The next person I am to meet is Julia the anaesthetist who had come to put a canula in my arm.
The conversation went like this.
"Hi I am Julia and I am here to canulate you today." (No smile or good morning)
To me. "Name, date of birth, any allergies, do you know why you are here?"
All answered by me as she asked, "Is someone picking you up? Yes. "And are they staying with you tonight?" No.
At this point she had got the tourniquet on and tight but she whisked that off as I was saying that I had been on my own before and it was OK.
She threw the tourniquet onto her cart and said "I am not OK with that and I am not on your team."
Off she went with my parting comment of Please yourself.

I found the call button and who should answer but yes Julia. I asked to speak to someone, anyone but not her.
She took no notice and came back to tell me the doctor had said it would be OK for me to be at home on my own. She then proceeded to make nice explaining hospital protocol and their duty of care. She felt I had spoken with a tone to my voice which had upset her but she was just so aggressive. She had never been called aggressive before but she did put the canular in with no drama.
I apologised for my tone (if I had one) just to keep the peace and I said we were good.
Enter Hayley who was bright and happy only to fill out yet more paperwork.
If only I could have spoken to her through my tears. Of course she wanted to know why I was so upset and in due course I told her.
I should have known she would go to speak to Julia and they both came back to see me. Julia saying I thought we were good and friends again. I told her NO I just said that so that I did not ruin her day and just to make her feel better.
I was going to be unconscious soon and would not see her again.

They could have kept me overnight if they were that concerned but the let me go home anyway.
I have no memory of getting a cup of tea and a sandwich or of dressing myself when I came round. Nor do I remember getting out to the reception and being met by my neighbour. At home with help to the door I made a cup of tea and then slept for the next five hours after which I was right as rain.
I hope this was not too long.

[Natalie5004]

It is good to speak with us.

[Philippa Jane]

Natalie. This is my home away from home.

[Crissy 107]

Philippa, I agree with Natalie, we are here for you.

[Helen_Highwater]

Philippa,

Given your reaction post op, it's easy to see the why the anaesthetist was reticent to proceed. It's quite possible you were at the mild end of reactions while a good many may experience far longer lasting or more severe after effects. Having a patient collapse at home, bang their head on a table corner only to be found dead isn't something any medic would want if for no other reason than we live in a litigation culture and a grieving family brings a massive lawsuit.

OK, bedside manner could have been better but at the core of it, she had your best interests at heart.

[Philippa Jane]

Thank you Helen and I do agree.
I hope that I will know when I am unable to take care of myself after a small operation
But in all of the forms I filled out it states that I have next of kin.
I also made it clear that I have no close friends who could stay with me.
I feel they should have kept me in overnight. There must be others like me.
It comes down to available beds and cost. My insurance would have covered the cost.

Thank you Crissy. I know that you are on my team.

[alwayshave]

Philippa, I am sorry the anesthetist acted in such an unprofessional manner. But, glad that your procedure went well and you are home and well.

[kimdl93]

I had some cataract surgery a few years ago. When I scheduled it the first time, it hadn?t occurred to me that I would need someone else to drive. After all, the procedure is only done one eye at a time. But apparently, the eye clinic has (legitimate) concerns about elderly patients driving around under any lingering effects of anesthesia!

[Dutchess]

Hello,

I have had a ton of surgery in this lifetime and I'm never allowed to wear makeup jewelry or my nails done either and I don't care as long as I'm fixed. Or fixed for the time being.
They aren't always going to have a great manner but I would never back talk these people as they have my frail life in their hands .
She said that for your safety .... Those people are totally not there to observe your makeup and your outfit, they have your life in their hands and they don't want to kill you.

That being said my kidney surgery was postponed nearly 2 years bc I'm by myself.
There is nobody to help me and most likely will not be in the future and that's the truth that I had to accept with grace and a good attitude . I wish that they had more services for people like us that are by ourselves. There's a lot of us out here that just don't have a partner or family at all , like me .
I was at the point that I asked my primary about humane euthanasia because when I have is fatal unless its treated . So I qualified .

I didn't even have anybody to drive me there and I needed that surgery badly. My childhood friend that I've known since I was 8 years old finally flew on her own dime from Atlanta out here to Los Angeles and she ended up staying with me for 10 days and I'm grateful.
I probably would still be laying here had she not done that.

This last one , last May , I was asleep for 5 hours while they worked on both kidneys for a long time and when I woke up you know they just shoved me into the car. Forget tea or sandwiches or anything like that, just get out.
In the United States women are second class citizens in the medical community and elsewhere too . Its worse if we are middle class and lower or alone like me .

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Philippi Jane , Sounds like POOR Bedside Manners, >Orchid**OO**

[docrobbysherry]

Thanks for posting, PJ. It made my day. Because I'm over 80 I go the hospital for one thing or another about every other week. And, I'm pretty darn healthy for my age!

As a Vietnam Vet I'm treated at the VA. And, early on I was told no one would be offended if I EVER wanted to change nurses, care takers, or doctors. I did a few times the first few years. But, not in the last 20 or so. I feel so blessed to have each and every one of them! They r the reason Sherry's still having so much fun at my advanced age!

[Philippa Jane]

Dutchess. I do get what you are saying and yes she was doing the correct thing for my safety, but it was the manner in which it was done.
As for talking up for myself, at my age I will not put up with bad manners. She was just one cog in the wheel. There were lots of other people looking after me.
I still think they should have kept me overnight or at least for a few hours more.
I am appalled that you would not have been kept in hospital after a kidney operation. I had one removed some years ago and they kept me in for 2 days. I had five days at home and then went back to work.
Years ago it was a thing about not wearing nail polish as the oxygen sensor could not read the signal, and of course before that the anaesthetist kept an eye on the colour of your nail beds. My acrylics don't cause them any issues. As for the makeup they were operating below the waist. lol
I do have acquaintances but none that I would feel comfortable asking to stay and 'look after me' as it is a big ask. I do hope your health is as good as it can be.

Good for you Sherry. You deserve everything you are entitled to for serving your country. Our wives are entitled to the same health care that you would be receiving even after the death of the husband. The all get a Gold Card until they pass to.

Kim. I get a 3 monthly eye injection to prevent macular degeneration and they advise me not to drive. But it is not mandatory. I had cataract surgery under general aesthetic many years ago and they kept me in overnight.

Thank you Blue and Jamie.