Am I unique here in loving being a dude but also loving a feminine aesthetic? It?s a rhetorical question since I?m sure I?m not totally unique, but I?m curious as to how others might answer.
Am I unique here in loving being a dude but also loving a feminine aesthetic? It?s a rhetorical question since I?m sure I?m not totally unique, but I?m curious as to how others might answer.
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller
I don't dress often in female clothes. Full nines are exceptional, twice a year, plus a few MIAD sessions. Guy mode is my routine and the rest is extra. I like the feeling of female clothes so I don't mind too much keeping the beard and all while MIADing, although I prefer to stay away from mirrors in that mode to avoid seeing the hybrid look which I find a bit unsettling.
I am comfortable with myself in guy mode and don't feel any kind of dysphoria. I can even dig it when dressing for an occasion, if the clothes fit me well and I get compliments from my wife. But I am very comfortable too in female clothes and they send me vibes of another kind. So I like to experience both sides.
One of the great things about discovering this place has be learning that I am not the only one. The other discovery was that I was something other than what I thought or feared.
O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
That's exactly me. Sometimes i don't even feel like i fit in this group very well.
There's a name for people like that, Bea.
We're called CrossDressers!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I'm indifferent about being a dude. I'm generally a very happy person and have had a fortunate life. After a lot of thought, I decided not to put my time, energy and money into transitioning, but I wish I had been born a girl. It would have been a better fit!
I definitely get that. But, it feels like guys like me are often on the fringes both here and in the real world.Originally Posted by docrobbysherry
There's a name for people like that, Bea.
We're called CrossDressers!
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
I find that idea to be interesting, but I can't relate. I don't see any advantage to being a girl. Can you articulate what, besides the clothes make you feel like it would be a better fit. No judgment, just genuine interest.
Last edited by Crissy 107; 10-17-2025 at 09:16 PM. Reason: Not necessary to quote the post directly in front of yours.
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller
I rarely get a chance to wear female attire (outerwear). However, I wear panties 24/7 and a bra as often as I can. That's enough to satisfy my need to feel pretty.
I wouldn’t say it would be an advantage to be a girl but it’s just where I wanted to be socially. I wanted to be grouped in with the girls. I’m bisexual but I feel like the ideal relationship for me would be with a man as a woman. I don’t have kids and never had a strong desire to be a dad, but I would really have liked to be a mom.
Bea,
Not sure how similar my viewpoint is but I would definitely say my "normal" is masculine and my feminine expression is the exception and that I'm okay with that. I've always been very much fascinated with all female aesthetics: be it appearance, voice, music, dress, form, or style. I currently think my own crossdressing is a desire to emulate this femininity rather than from a desire of actually wanting to be female.
For me though, wearing limited feminine garments or having a beard distracts too much from that emulation aspect I look for so I'm more all-or-nothing when I dress.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I? I took the one less traveled by,- R. Frost
And that has made all the difference.
Different strokes for different folks. There no hard set of rules for crossdressing, well at least not that I know. Some people set their standards and even at times try to impose them on others. What?s new in society. I for one have no problem dressing all the way on occasion. But for the most past I?m certainly a half-a$$ crossdresser. Tights short skirts camis and most the time guy shirts and shoes. It?s just more comfortable to me that jeans and tees, tacky, tacky. Fleece lined tights are sure a lot warmer in the winter. So dress for what makes you feel the best.
Hugs Rochal
I've never felt like a dude or not. When I hear the phrase, I love being a dude, I'm not sure what that means. People talk of expectations and responsibility being a dude and having to act a certain way. I guess I never got the handbook.
Could you please explain a little bit of what you love about being a dude?
At times I get so comfortable putzing around the shop and the yard in a nice jean skirt with nice boobies I almost forget how it must look.
Never liked facial hair and I just love the feel of soft forms in a nice bra.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
You are not alone. I fully embrace being a guy, but enjoy wearing certain things from the other side of the store. Sometimes it is the feel, sometimes it is the greater variety of colors/patterns, or sometimes it is just more comfortable.
https://balletflatsformen.wordpress.com/
Yes, I enjoy being a guy, no choice, but dressing is and has been so much a part of my life. I still enjoy both worlds. Since retiring, I actually dress more whenever the of floats in.
I guess 'dude' is just a way to differentiate from 'man' which is not as descriptive for me. I think like a guy when compared to my wife and the women I know. I don't envy women overall, but I do enjoy the aesthetic and tactile choices that they have. I'm not overly 'manly', and in fact I'm closer to androgynous in a lot of ways. But, the male side wins it all except the style. Not sure if that helps.
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller
Sounds a lot like myself. I am a guy in all ways except for the way I prefer to dress
Although unlike many manly men. I really do not care for sports, or a lot of the real.manly things. But driving cars and driving fast. I am all in for that
Just finished off road training with my son in Utah. That was so fun
So you are definitely not the only one
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
Thanks for clarifying. I've always been a loner. Never really one of the guys but don't think i could separate my attraction to women from being friends with women. Totally hetero but inherently monogamous. I'm in my ideal relationship of over fifty years except for knowing she'd prefer I was more typical. Dad and grampa are my favorite parts of being a dude. My daughter may have her suspicions about my tastes, but has never shown it openly. Son doesn't know.
I'm the same about sports and about driving. I was able to make the Moab Jeep Safari with my son about ten years in a row. I truly enjoy getting off road with him, but don't think I'd be that into it without going with him..
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller
That is cool. We stopped by Moab on the way back. But due to time constraints we really didn't get to go off roading
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
Bea, female aesthetics is beautiful, so I totally understand, why you wear it.
I personally don't feel comfortable as a MIAD, that's why I present as a female, but as you feel comfortable, then it is understandable. Especially in summer, because nothing in men's wardrobe beats dress or skirt.
For me, when I see a girl who matches what I envision as my aesthetic, I imagine what it would feel like to fill out those clothes, and how I would do my hair, my makeup, etc. I would imagine feeling as confident as I do when I?m dressed as Olivia. It?s weird where now, I admire a girls style/vibe and respect her as a woman who sees another women living her best life and just wishing I could be that woman myself. I really do feel like a silent cheerleader. Just seeing someone live freely gives me a sense of envy, but also support for those who are able to live as they feel.
I do t think you are the only one. I consider myself pretty much an ordinary man and enjoy that role. I spend my time in shorts and tee shirts working outside. I just happen to enjoy putting on women?s clothing from time to time when I have the opportunity.
You're not alone, we're just in the minority here. We should start our own website, maybe call it crossdressers.com or something like that, that reflects what we are.
Life is short
That's my gig actually...love androgynous men I don't know if Davy started it -he was so pretty and had that pretty hair - or what but there it is . Artist and musicians are still my thing in real life also because they tend to show out that way.
The minute people start talking about dysphoria/I'm really a woman/ whatever , I'm out. I mean like my ears just shut. But the guys that dress and wear make up and nails ,piercings etc etc etc but still know they are guys , are what I like .
The reason I am on this thread is because I want to you see this young man I have been just enchanted over . I cant put a link but you can see him all over social media . He is from and is in Brazil and dances mostly with women but sometimes other men .
He is VERY tall , sleek and very chic ... Women of all ages are just going gaga for this young man and he dresses in very upscale women's wear , usually pants. I've never seen him wear a skirt or anything. He always has a matching purse he carries while dancing and appears to have on full make up and nails done and always these beautiful heels ... I have even thought to fly down to Brazil myself for a week or so to dance with this guy !
His name is Everton Viana and when you Google him you will also see an older musician by that name but that's not him . Look at the videos that pop up when you Google his name and you will see him he is on FB reels , IG, TT everywhere . If not send me a DM and I'll send you a link somehow to a video that you don't have to sign in for . If you look in the comments you see women literally fighting for a chance to dance with him lol !
and you bet I remember Combat on Saturday night in black and white and I can hear them give that same intro lol ! I was so little and I think it came on weeknights at one point too but I remember Saturday nights for that most ... after Lawrence Welk of course ...
Last edited by Dutchess; Today at 04:01 PM.
IG : Knightress Oxide
Dutchess, I looked up "Everton Viana dancer" and I actually like his style. My immediate takeaway is that I'd assume he is gay and wait to be proven wrong. I think that's why I am at a standstill. My preferred style would be much like his (with an old man's body) and I can't dance. Your taste is an exception among women and I appreciate that you are here on the forum. I like getting a woman's point of view on these things.
Everton Viana seems to wear feminine men's clothes and i think my taste would extend farther into androgyny including skirts dresses etc. I'm not into a lot of lace or frills, but I do like to wear yoga pants and leggings, which I recall you disliking. I wear very light eye makeup which doesn't really get noticed. Just trimmed my gray hair to a couple of inches below my shoulders.
My build up until my late thirties resembled Everton's except not as tall. I was always confident with my build but I think even back then, my sexuality was questioned. I blew it off but felt a need to put up a bluff to 'prove' i was manly enough. but that never felt genuine.
The issue is that I'm not out to attract anyone, male or female, except my wife and that doesn't attract her. She obviously loves me. She tolerates my tastes but wants it hidden. I don't even know if I could deal with all the backlash of not being 'manly' in the world I deal with on a daily basis.
I would shock everyone I know if I ever presenting in public the way I like to dress at home. I don't live in an area where that even seems possible and I don't see me moving.
Combat came on on Tuesday in my area. I remember my dad loving Lawrence Welk and the Lennon Sisters. It definitely wasn't my thing and I don't know when it came on.
Last edited by Bea_; Today at 06:30 PM.
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller
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