GF's mom knew all along

[Sasha_inside]

Went home yesterday to help my parents work on some projects my Dad just can't do anymore.
Being back where I grew up is always bittersweet, tons of good memories, bunch of bad.
I got a list of things I would need together and headed out to the hardware store to get them.

Stopped to get a burger and fries at the little diner that is still there, looked around when I walked in and sitting in a booth smiling and waving was my high school girlfriends mom. I always liked her, she was a nice, funny lady who was always chaperoning events and trips who could magically produce a stick of juicy fruit or big red gum if you wanted one. We talked while I ate and she sipped coffee about her daughter - we ended our relationship amicably when we graduated high school with no harsh feelings or ill will, she went to college, I went into the military.

I hadn't seen my ex gf in years, last time I saw her was when I was home on leave one summer and she was home from college, 30 years ago now. So she caught me up on her marriage, where she lived and showed me the obligatory pictures of the grandkids.
She asked about me so I told her about my life and my wife, she smiled and patted my hand and said she was glad to hear about my wife, she always worried about me since I liked wearing panties and bras and other clothes so much.

Wait, mouth dropped open ... WHAT?

She looked at me and smiled and said that my girlfriend had told her all about my love for feminine things when she found her taking some of the clothes meant for Goodwill that she and her older sister had put in out of the box and asked why, they were too big for my gf, what was she doing with them? Apparently my gf told her everything at that point.
She said she was shocked and asked a lot of questions and wanted to know if we were doing "things" that kids normally did or if I was gay? No, not gay, we did things, I just liked the clothes.
So she told my gf she wouldn't say anything to her sister or her dad and left it up to her as to whether or not she wanted me to know about her finding out. She never told me and her mom never let on that she knew, never treated me differently.
She told me she had to run and told me that she would continue to keep my secret then gave me a hug and wished me well.

We did spend tons of time at her house with her helping me figure out what fit, she showed me how to wear things properly- like a garter belt and nylons. I thought we were just really smart and avoided getting caught, turns out the whole time, her mom knew and would actually plan activities for herself and everyone else away from the house to give us time for my dressing and learning.

I left feeling a bit betrayed, shocked and questioning if I really wasn't as slick as I thought I was at hiding things.
Going to reach out to the ex and say - "So, I ran into your mom today ..."

[JennniferMcC]

Yikes! I live in dread of things like that!
-Jen

[docrobbysherry]

Maybe hiding isn't all it's cracked up to be?

[audreyinalbany]

what Doc said

[NjJamie]

Sasha, I'd opt for the other side of that coin, that this woman was so trusting of you and actually enabled you in any way puts her into the CD hall of fame! She allowed it to go on, an actually almost unbelievable thing, with her daughter, again way into the fiction only territory, and kept it a secret so these years, I'd suggest going to but some lottery tickets but you already won, you just didn't realize it, back then and a bit now, so wonderful!

[alwayshave]

Sasha, I wouldn't reach out to the ex. Let sleeping dogs lie.

[DianeT]

You certainly weren't betrayed, quite the opposite, they protected you. She and her daughter were your allies and friends, even if you only knew half of the story. Smart, thoughtful and caring friends.

[Maria 60]

As much as I would also love to leave somethings on the back burner I also had a girlfriend who lived across the street from me. I met up with her sister years later and she told me that they were able to see into my house when I would stay up late. Wow! She told me that her and her sister have a lot of respect for me and we were good friends so they both decided to just keep it there secret what they seen me do and wear. I wrote many times that I was really naive when young and with age I'm seeing it more and more. Just like those two sisters decided to leave the past in the past and not mention anything I'm thinking maybe you could do the same.

[Heather76]

Your ex-gf and her mother were absolutely the best allies and supporters you could have ever asked for. I would suggest you not contact your ex-gf about meeting her mother. However, if you run into her at some time, it would seem natural to tell her you ran into her mother. Don't mention the CD part of the conversation unless she would bring it up. Then tell her how wonderful it is to have friends you can trust with the knowledge of your hobby.

[Sasha_inside]

I appreciate the responses, rest assured, I don't plan on contacting her, she has her life, I have mine and I wish her well. Guess I was just verbalizing more than anything.

The betrayal comment, yeah, that feeling stands. I was taught from a young age not to lie and to keep the confidences and secrets people tell or give you. Hearing that wasn't reciprocated cut deep, yeah it worked to my advantage but it still cut.

We told each other everything or so I thought, and hearing that her mom knew about my dressing, yet she never said anything about that to me, siggggghhhhhhhhh.
I know things about her that she told me about or that I was there to see that I have never shared with anyone and never will.

As "unbelievable or into fiction territory" as some might think this is, it happened.
To address the mom knew but was OK with it? elephant in the room - we never "went all the way", her mom asked her, she did tell me that much. We were not running around the house recreating scenes from an adult movie if you get my drift, but we were teens and did some teen things.

I recognize things for what they are - I was lucky to have a gf who supported me with my dressing and I know it.

I've also been extremely lucky as I've gotten older with my wife, a handful of friends and some other family members, very well aware of that. So from that standpoint, I have won la lotteria.

Again, I appreciate the responses, don't get me wrong.

[Jasmine23]

You were exceptionally lucky to not only have an accepting ex-GF that helped you dress up and showed you how to dress up, but, her mom actively went out of her way to help, by making sure you two had plenty of alone time, so you could dress up. You don't realise how lucky you were, they kept your secret and helped you dress. Appreciate that and move on, those two women are absolute saints, imagine how difficult your life might have been if 1, your ex GF didn't accept and actively help you crossdress and 2 her mom allowed this to happen and actively made sure you had time alone to dress up without getting caught and 3, they still kept your secret when you broke up with your ex GF, they were under no obligation to keep your secret, but, yet kept it for all these years. I really hope you can appreciate all they did for you, it could so easily have been so different.

[Connie D50]

Great post, I don't think any of use know how many friends and family really know.

[Bea_]

I can see why there would be a sense of betrayal from the girlfriend. It is very fortunate that her mother was trustworthy and non-judgmental. I think her honesty towards you is an overall positive. It's a small gesture of acknowledgement, affirmation and support. Even if the support is only in keeping your secret, it is still support. It's nice that there are people like that out there in the world.

[JesseVF]

Wow how cool they were both so supportive back in the day. A little surprised the mother chose to let you know she knew about the dressing at this point. Not sure what that accomplished.

[Natalie5004]

I wish that happed to me back in the good old dark days. Having a girlfriend help me dress? Totally would have been out of my mind. Back then I was considered "The pretty one" in the family. That could be read any way you choose. But I think I could have Cross dressed and passed as a sister. I have (5).

I am also glad the Mom shared with you. Sure I would have blushed but she went out of her way to protect you when you really needed. She Loved you in the best way.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sasha, That was totally Unexped, >Orchid**OO**

[JulieC]

I had a girlfriend years ago who knew about my crossdressing, but was completely unsupportive. She knew it was a secret, and that I expected her to keep that secret. I'm about 90% certain she told some mutual friends anyway, or at least one. I cut her out of my life for a number of reasons; that was one of them.

Sasha, I know the feeling of betrayal is a powerful one, but keep in mind...it happened decades ago. Further, you're not connected to her, there's no fixing it, and there's no relationship to be affected by it. Chin up

[jjjjohanne]

The girlfriend and the mom apparently had a very open and honest relationship! Good for then.

[CarlaWestin]

Great post, I don't think any of use know how many friends and family really know.

Yup, right on the money. A favorite story I've recounted often is when female work companion asked why I was using clear coat on my fingernails.
After offering the excuse of keeping them from cracking I mentioned that she was the only one who noticed.
She countered with, "Oh no. Everyone noticed. I'm just the only one to say something."

[char GG]

Just a reminder to everyone. Once information is out there in the universe, you no longer have control about how that information will be used or will be shared. If you don't want ANYONE to know, don't tell ANYONE.

Sasha, I realize you told your ex-GF so many years ago, but here it is, coming back to haunt you. Sounds like they are respecting your privacy by hopefully not using your real name.

Not sure anything would be accomplished by sending an email to your EX.