When did it feel right to you

[Christina89]

Hi Ladies. I hope everyone is well. I?ve been sitting here for a good 20 minutes trying to make my mind up on whether or not I should write this or not, but here it goes. I am 34 years old, for it years I have always felt fine as a crossdresser. But in 2020 when everything happened I found myself more in my thoughts and a lot of those thoughts were whether or not I was a trans. Now I have always been happy with who I am, but in 2020 and until now I get spurts of times when I feel other wise. I was wondering when did y?all feel was the right time to go a be your true self or find your true self?

Thanks ladies!!!
Christina

[IamWren]

I think your phrasing of “… to be your true self” is somewhat subjective. That can look different for every trans person. (Note: I did NOT say “a trans”. “Trans” and “transgender” are used as adjectives not a noun”)


I’ll assume you mean hormone therapy and/or presenting as a woman full time. I began questioning my assigned gender in 2014 and shortly after began experimenting with wearing women’s clothes. It took six years before I started hormone therapy.

Even when I started I wasn’t sure if it was what I should be doing. I had done about two and a half years of constant, thorough research and felt confident I could stop after four to six months with any changes that occurred being reversible if it didn’t feel right.

Well it sure didn’t feel wrong so I kept with it.
But even today, more than four years of hormone therapy later, I get imposter syndrome and wonder if I made a mistake. Logically, I know I made the right decision but sometimes the ol’ brain makes me think weird thoughts.

Good luck on trying to figure this out for you.

[cd300]

Christina,
I too have this feelings. From 1995 Jessica's beginning until 2020 ironically I felt like I was fine with just dressing
But then I went out in public for first time.
Thoughts began to creep in. I dressed more in shared pictures here. Then in 2021 I went out for multiple evenings and feelings got stronger. Fast forward to now and after tons of dressing and my wife questions her sexuality now I have gotten into therapy and been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. I am now contemplating HRT and breast augmentation. I will see where it goes from there.
So I wish you the best and get a good gender therapist and see where it takes you. Each journey is different and will move at different pace.
Best of luck ! .
Jessica

[danniUK]

Hi Christina
When did it feel right? This year. At the age of 49, after CDing for over 30 years I finally realised that it'd been easier to tell myself that I just like dressing up that it was to admit that I'm trans.
To be honest the realisation and admittion scares the hell out of me, but almost in a good way.
I'm not sure where I go from here. Probably nowhere I haven't already been. I'm sure that I don't want to transition, hell it feels like I'm just too old. Yes I know that plenty of others older than me have done so, but it's just how I feel personally.

[Jeri Ann]

Just to be clear, since this thread was started in the Transsexual section, I am assuming that the OP means transsexual and/or transitioning when using the phrase, ?true self.?

Guidelines for this section hinge on these definitions:

Transsexual (TS) - An individual who is changing their assigned birth gender permanently to that of the opposite.

Transitioning - The process an individual takes to change their assigned birth gender to that of the opposite. This process may include, Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS), Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS), Name Change, Breast Augmentation (BA) and Living full time in the preferred gender in all environments.

“Dressing”, HRT, and even breast augmentation are not transsexual specific. Check out the forum definitions for more clarification.

[Jane G]

Life is such a complex thing. I know I'm trans. Yet life has left me happy as a closeted CD. We each have our own path. Only you can live yours.

[LuisRowe]

Just to be clear, since this thread was started in the Transsexual section, I am assuming that the OP means transsexual and/or transitioning when using the phrase, ?true self.?

Guidelines for this section hinge on these definitions:

Transsexual (TS) - An individual who is changing their assigned birth gender permanently to that of the opposite.

Transitioning - The process an individual takes to change their assigned birth gender to that of the opposite. This process may include geometry dash scratch, Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS), Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS), Name Change, Breast Augmentation (BA) and Living full time in the preferred gender in all environments.

?Dressing?, HRT, and even breast augmentation are not transsexual specific. Check out the forum definitions for more clarification.

Thanks for sharing

[Philippa Jane]

Hi Christina.
I have read your post a couple of times just to try and see where you are wanting to go with your question.
It is perhaps a little ambiguous.
I think Jeri Anne has clarified that.

Yes you should write about how you are feeling. This is a support group after all.
The replies you will get like mine are just our own thoughts and experiences.
Only you can decide where this could take you.

I was always happy with who I was as a person but never quite happy just being a CD.
Responsibilities to my wife kept me in the closet so to speak.
My time came when I no longer had to please anyone other than myself.

It feels to me as if the ' buzz' from your dressing is not quite enough and you are now questioning the need to find 'your true self', or perhaps a bigger 'buzz'.

Does your 'true self' want to transition? How strong is the pull to your famine side?
I think there is so much for you to consider and if you were willing to give a little more history many here will offer support and opinions.