Can you imagine

[Rochal Tukque]

Spending time reading the situations online and having crossdressing friends that are under the most difficult and bizarre agreements just to wear some feminine clothing. That is what it is, and the point of my conversation is turning the table. So I?ll play this in the first person with a SO. Ok you tell me that you are the soul owner of your feminine domain and my crossdressing is an unforgivable violation of that. Fine from now there will be no more crossdressing in this house, not me you! You will not violate my male domain. No more jeans, sloppy tee shirts, baggy sweatpants, what have you. Anything remotely considered male worn by you will be unforgivable and an embarrassment to everyone involved. This is the outcome of one having their cake and eat it too. So only feminine attire will be acceptable at all times both private and public. I reside with a female not some one looking like and dressing like a guy. Heaven forbid what the neighbors or the family would think about my attractions. Or the unsubstantiated phobias they may conjure up about us.

Can you imagine how that would go over? Especially on a one way street.

Hugs Rochal

[Genifer Teal]

I am sure she would especially love the part that someone else (a man) is telling her what she can and can't wear.

[Di]

First off be in a relationship with someone that wants you to be you.
Work all this out before marriage.
Women had to fight back in the day ( wearing pants to work in a factory) CDs seems to hide and be ashamed and it just does not become the norm. ( nothing to be ashamed of )
Third and important-The intent is not to be seen or feel like a man…..they are all female.
For example reading posts here…..some wear female jeans , female glasses , if a skirt any article of clothing was said to be made for men A CD would not purchase it….the intent IS to be seen or feel like a woman.

That’s my two cents .
I’d say when looking for a partner , look for one who wants you to be you and don’t tell me lol there are not any ….lol all of us GGs here disagree.
Re Genifer…..yes sadly I sometimes have the trait of doing the opposite lol someone telling me what I can wear / do.

Forgive me if I ruined the tone of your post…..my wish for-everyone is to be free to wear what you want ……sadly society has to change .

[chrissy111]

Di has said the best advice anyone could give, Work all this out before marriage.

[char GG]

I've heard this argument before. Women wearing pants are NOT "trying to pass as men", they are wearing women's clothes. They aren't wearing men's underwear - not hiding their hair or disguising themselves with facial hair. So don't go there with line of thinking with your wives or girlfriends. It will bite you back. This is not the 1800's when women's long dresses had dirt on the hem while they worked in the fields.

Most women buy their clothes in the women's department because they fit better - rather than insisting that men's jeans are better because they are men's jeans.
And I haven't seen dresses sold in the men's department yet. But never say never.

Wear whatever you like, don't try to justify your decisions by this antiquated argument. It won't work. I agree with the two previous posts. Be open and honest before marriage, don't hide what you feel is your secret.

[Joanie CD]

What Char said. My wife (soon to be ex) is not a frilly, "girly" girl. She tends to jeans, tailored pants, etc. She never wears heels, and usually wears dresses or skirts only to "dress up" when going out, and even that is sporadic. However, 100% of her clothes are from the women's department. She wears nice jewelry, (minimal) makeup, etc. She wears sneakers (trainers), sandals, etc., but women's style. The only time she ever wore men's clothes (and this was before I met her) was when she was riding horses a lot, and she wore men's tighty-whiteys (y-fronts), because they were thicker and more sweat-absorbing then 1970s womens' underwear. May I add that she is, and always has been, an attractive, feminine woman.

[TheHiddenMe]

Your "argument" (read: rant) falls apart because every piece of clothing the theoretical female in this example likely bought those clothes at a store specifically marketing them to women. They are likely sized in women's sizes. These are the clothes that women wear today, and bought and sold by women.

It's also rude and condescending to women and would reflect badly on men and crossdressers. I have found women are our biggest supporters, and this is unacceptable behavior towards them, as a couple of the GGs on this board have accurately pointed out.

So I would prefer you imagine not.

[docrobbysherry]

Apples and oranges! Di and Char explained why.

[DianeT]

Rochal many arguments were given, I'll just add this: one of the GGs here who didn't chime in yet would probably tell you that women don't do it for sexual reasons. I don't know about other CDers but as for myself, it started for sexual reasons and still has a sexual driver involved. I wear women's clothes and forms and all the tralala because I am seduced by how women look in them and I want, if just for a moment, to have the illusion to share that experience of being them in these clothes, with that look. Women don't wear pants and shirts for sexual reasons, they don't do it to imitate men or pretend to be them. And I have to make a confession: I totally dig it when my wife borrows a shirt of mine and a tie, she really kills it, no way I can imagine forbidding her to do so!

[kimdl93]

I do not see much point in engaging in rhetorical, hypothetical arguments. GGs see clothing from an entirely different vantage point than crossdressing males. Besides, I would need to confidently understand my own motivations. Even that seems beyond my capacity at the moment.

[Dutchess]

Instead why don't you be honest beforehand and let your partner make that decision with the correct information about you rather than the information you want them to have.

This is an alternative lifestyle at best.
I mean there's no getting around that . I live an extremely alternative lifestyle as well and sometimes I have to make modifications and I have to be the bigger person. I know I'm different and I don't expect everybody around me to like what I do or who I am .

If you don't tell somebody before marriage then they don't have the complete information about you. So you don't have any right to be mad at them when you spring this on them and complain that "they don't love all of you".Well, that's because you didn't tell/show them all of you in the first place. - and no it doesn't matter the reasons why you thought you should do that .
Thats not your SO's fault or problem .

I'm actually going through therapy because of how my first dresser treated me and we're at the point now where I'm having to understand that the person that I fell in love with- the person he showed me - was fake, that he was not real. I fell in love with a figment.

This is painful and it's really hard work, because the dresser, the guy who was on the down low gay, and has probably been with every cross-dresser/trans etc etc in the Netherlands and The United States was the real person....Not the one he showed me.

[Aka_Donna]

I just don't get this post. It seems so different than your other posts. Why not drop the alternative universe and start a new post with a description of the issue you are having and an outline of failed attempts to resolve it? Maybe someone here has had a similar situation and can provide new and fresh insight.

[Rochal Tukque]

As passionate as this subject is, it doesn?t surprise me that posts going personal on me, that?s ok. Read on if you want. I have no point of reference, my wife of 20 plus years never had a problem with my dressing from day one. With that said the wife and I have gone to many LARGE CD gatherings, Sacramento, Reno, Portland, Las Vegas. This story in fact I?ve read and heard personally many times in the reverse roll. Right up to being told getting caught with female clothing means divorce. Many times we opened our motel room to people that absolutely could not dress or be caught at home. The ratio at these gatherings was typically 30% with SO?s the rest hiding out in various degrees and restriction. My wife?s opinion, there are other circumstances in these relationships it?s not just the crossdressing. My opinion is, there very few women that will put up with this let alone be supportive and are quite frankly very one sided. How many threads on this website alone, of destroyed relationships. So pardon me for trying to understand the dynamics of the situation. I was kinda hoping that the response would be more than that typical few that respond to most the posts. That is why my thread was purposely different.