What do you think?

[Maria 60]

I closed my gazebo with a tarp and put a gas fire pit in there so I could smoke a cigar or just enjoy the winter weather with a bottle of wine warm in there. Last night I was opening a bottle and going in it and my wife told me the niebours were away for the weekend and if I wanted to dress.
I went out in a dress and thicker tights for the cold and she handed down to me one of her winter coats that made it more fun.
A couple of weeks back she was upset with me about not being careful with my fem stuff and to sit down with myself and ask myself where I want to go with my hobby.
She asked if she put out the green light what would I do, would I want to tell the children and if yes would I want to dress in front of them? Would I go out dressed and maybe meet up with some friends on the community like I had mentioned to her in the past. Would I dress in front of our parents and tell family and friends and dress in front of them? Wouldn't I feel uncomfortable being dressed like a women in front of my friends and family?
Well that sure was a lot of questions but I did want to answer them as honestly as possible. I told her I don't want to dress in front of my children and family and friends. BUT and this is a big BUT, I told her I would probably like to at least tell them so if they do see a hint of pantyhose sticking out from somewhere on my body or we meet in a mall and they see a bra strap it won't be a total shock.
I wouldn't have to totally be so careful with my stuff and not have to worry if I don't delete the history on our laptop. I asked my wife a few years back since we are traveling together more maybe it would be a good idea to tell maybe one of our daughters so in case something happens she could do some damage control.
I also told her I know of a few sisters here on this community who are from our city and I would like to at least try going out dressed once but would feel better if our children knew so in case I do get spotted out it won't be a shock.
I answered of course I would feel uncomfortable dressed like a women in front of my childhood and family, that's not what I want. All I want is to share this with her and maybe spread my wings a little on my own and not put her in a embarrassing situation. I thought I was very honest and reminded her that I'm also very happy where iam now with her now. I could see she was in deep thought and she told me she wants to keep this line of communication open and maybe we could consider telling our oldest daughter and see how she feels about the situation. I could see why she chose our oldest because she is more strong emotionally and has proven she could keep a secret and very down to earth. I could see lately with us getting older my wife has been wanting to do more and her saying is "what are we waiting for when it's too late that we can't do it". We left it at let's leave the line of communication open and let's just think about it and not rush into anything and sleep on it.
I'm not sure what to think about this one, on one hand maybe I should just be happy I'm able to dress in my own home at anytime and she will support that. But it would take a lot of pressure off of me if we did get an option from one of our children and see what the reaction of one, that could go good or bad.
On the other hand with the children knowing and not seeing it, it would open the door for me to maybe fulfill some fem bucket list.
I'm wondering if anyone here could help with some advice if our plan with telling our oldest daughter is a good idea or any other suggestions going forward. Maybe someone here did something like this and tell me the good or bad of it. Just not sure if it's a good idea and would anyone here even consider it.

[Raychel]

So many years ago, I told my wife, That was a shocker to her, We definitely went thru a rough patch. Over time she accepted. And in more time I did come out to my adult children. They were all living at home. And they all accpeted just fine. The big key here is to talk to them like adults. Treat them with respect and choose your words carefully. Give them a chance to ask questions and answer them honestly. I told my kids one at a time, in a one to one setting, Allowing them to ask question and express their own thoughts without the influence of others. They all accepted way better than I expected.

In a kind of related note, When I told my father it was in the same sort of setting. I was really dreading telling him. I totally expected him to have very bad reactions to this news. He did not. He totally accepted as well. I will never dress in front of him. As I can with my kids. But all the people I have told. were totally accepting.

So I short. My opinion is a one on one setting, If you prefer your wife to be there as well, I am sure that would be fine. May make it easier for your daughter to accept.

In my opinion and my experiences there was no bad. All good for me.
But of course your experiences may vary............

[Joanie CD]

Everyone's situation is different, but everyone I have ever told about my dressing has been supportive. OK, TBH one couple that are dear friends was clearly a little freaked out, but not to the point of harming our friendship. I decided not to dress in front of them. I only see them a couple of times a year, so that's not a problem. My wife, daughter, and daughter's family have been 200% supportive. All of the friends I have told were warmly supportive as well. Now, it may help that virtually all of our friends are what you would call "progressive". I was in the closet with noone knowing for 40-50 years. Once I told my wife, she was a little surprised, and shockingly had no idea. She immediately starting helping me out, especially with what colors and styles looked good on me, and with makeup. She started buying things for Joanie. So the last 6 years have been a crossdresser's dream, as I have said before on this forum. My close friends who live up the block are used to me turning up femme or drag, and they treat me exactly the same. This is a longwinded way of saying that, at least for me, telling people was the best thing I ever did, crossdressing-wise. I have been chicken about telling my siblings and their families, however, even though I am otherwise very close to them. I hope to work up the nerve to do so in the next few months.

BTW, I am much larger than my wife, so wearing her clothes was never an option, so that probably saved me from some of the stuff that you're going through.

[SaraLin]

The only thing I'll add is this:

Once you've told the oldest daughter, there's a good possibility that you've just told all of them.
Siblings talk to each other, and unless you've sworn the oldest to the utmost secrecy, she'll spread the word.
Are the two of you ready for this? If you are, then go ahead.


Surprisingly, back when I was tiptoeing out of my personal dungeon (closet is too nice a word for it), the people that I did tell all seemed to take it in stride.
Most of them still haven't actually seen me, so I can't be sure how accepting they really are though.

[April Rose]

Maria, you know your children best, are there any of them that you think would have a particular problem with it? Do they all get along with each other? There is some truth to what SaraLin says. The better they get along with each other, the more likely they are to talk to each other. Of course, that could also make it easier for you.

I told my son when he was 22. It turned out he had known for years. It was a shock, but also a great relief.

[Stephanie47]

I think most people have an idea where any person in their family falls on acceptance of cross dressers or members of the LGBTQ+ community. If your oldest daughter is chosen I would hope she would honor your request to be silent about your "hobby." I often wonder what would happen if my wife and I were to die in an automobile accident. Our kids would find all my stuff which is considerable. If a dad discloses, then there is the opportunity to explain and not leave the kids to conjecture about "good old dad."