Bad Reputation ? A question fo the FTMs, MTFs, and GGs

[Kimberley]

Wow, that is a loaded question Marla. I think to sum it up in a word that would have to be fear, fear of the unknown. We make people uncomfortable because they dont understand the difference between sexuality and gender so they are "repulsed" by us. Maybe they question their own sexuality, I dont know. Anyway, that carries on to a host of other reactions that go from "whatever" to violence.

I think that the myth was well established with the flaming drag queens. They were and are flambouyant and so when most people think of crossdressing they think of the drag queen first and that becomes the gold standard for them.

Society with all its bigotry find it very easy to center out those who are different so we are at the least marginalized but more likely discriminated against because we are "easy" targets.

Just my :2c: worth

Kimberley

[CaptLex]

I'm with Kimberley . . . people fear what they don't understand and they don't understand what they themselves don't feel. If it's not something they themselves don't experience, there must be something wrong with it. Not to mention all the messages from parents and peers growing up, and the way the media mostly makes us look like deviants and nuts.

So many people have told me they've never met another like me before after I told them I'm trans. I always answer with, "that you know of" and explain that we're not the freaks they've seen on Jerry Springer. Then I bring the point home that they would never have known about me if I hadn't told them. I love opening people's eyes like that.

P.S. Thanks for including all in your question, Marla.

[gennee]

[SIZE="3"]I agree with all the comments on why we're hated. The medical and psychiatry professions didn't do us any justice, either.

Gennee [/SIZE]

[Bethanygirl]

I believe that we just make them think about their own sexuality, and most people do not wish to be forced into any kind of introspection. At least four-fifths of everyone I have ever met run on their social programming, and do NOT want to have to deeply consider life issues be it spirituality/religon, prejudices/intolerances, or sexuality/orientation. They wish to glide through life in the groove that has been laid down for them and are willing to accept the shallowness of their lives for the security that it gives them.

[Shelly Preston]

Some have a negative reaction to things they dont understand

Others have decided that its not right and nothing will change their mind

Comments I have heard recently "them gays should all be shot" & "crossdressers dont know what they are"

Its very hard to change the mind of people with this type of attitude as most are not prepared to listen.

We can only hope they at least will adopt live and let live attitude

Recenty changes in the media are helping but it will be a long process and hopefully it will get better in the future

[Calliope]

The main issue, I believe, is male homophobia.

The song 'Lola' depicts the fear of a straight male momentarily attracted to a TG, then discovering the deception. Only a swift (often violent) repudiation of the attraction will 'save' the straight identity. Recall Cronenberg's movie M Butterfly, as well - plus many other popkult examples.

That's why I always caution CDs who sport the sexy look and then turn passing into a sport.

[Sheila]

I posted the quote below to a similer question posed in another part of the forum hope it helps

I may be way of base here but I don't think that they see it as a threat to gender, but more that anybody doing something outside the "norm" actually causes each of us to look deep within ourselves and it may be that we do not like what we see ---------- we believe ourselves to be tolerant caring human beings but being faced with it (whatever it is) on a daily basis, makes some of us realise how intolerant we really are deep down -------- does that make any sort of weird sense ------ and so we don't feel good about ourselves and ergo the blame for that has to go to somebody else !!!!!!!!!

Jess

[Kieron Andrew]

most of joe/jo public 'think' that ALL CDing comes with sexual connotation, and that we are sex craved perverts!

[CaptLex]

most of joe/jo public 'think' that ALL CDing comes with sexual connotation, and that we are sex craved perverts!

So . . . does that mean I'm the only one?!

There are so many reasons, which is why there are so many good answers here. Another reason: I think some "straight" guys are afraid they may be attracted to a crossdresser, and they'll have to face something about themselves.

[Kate Simmons]

All the foregoing are good points and I'm glad Marla started this thread. We not only have to see how others view us but see how we view ourselves. It seems that in a lot of ways we see ourselves as innocent victims of bigotry and violence and things like that. Most of the reactions by others come about by misconception, misunderstanding, and misinformation (the media). If we are to have any kind of empowerment, we need not only to debunk our own myths but the overall myths generated by a public that is basically "clueless". Bringing our own fears out in the open shows what we are up against. We are generally good and positive people. We obey laws, we pay our taxes and even defend our country when called for. This is the kind of stuff that needs to be highlighted that we are good upstanding citizens who really aren't out to influence any one else's sexual preference or change the world according to our image. We just want the freedom to be who we really are and be able to express that. Asking ourselves what we want and how to get it are the first steps as are recognizing what barriers we are up against. The next step is to change the image people have of us in a way that is positive. Ericka Kay

[ronnie06]

there are many good sound answers here already.
in my eyes,...

social mores!

the so called social morality refuses to recognize many things....
but it IS s l o w l y ..............coming around to our side.

give it time hun.

our day is close at hand!

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

its strange, but its really "fear" with people i think :rolleyes: have u noticed, that if your in the street,out shopping, and you see someone who is disabled,or has some sort of "other" disability, people either try to avoid them, walk round them, or make terrible unprofound comments. simply because they are scarred/embarrassed with what they see, and dont understand ! iam sorry to say ive done it in past yet when you see c/d on telly, pantomines, etc, no-one bats a eyelid do they its "acceptable". yet if you said you knew someone whom c/d there would be a hue'cry the world tries to make evryone "politcaly correct", yet they are way way off mark with lots of things sadly acceptance is hard, tolarance is unthinkable :Angry3:

[Robin 36]

The main issue, I believe, is male homophobia.

The song 'Lola' depicts the fear of a straight male momentarily attracted to a TG, then discovering the deception. Only a swift (often violent) repudiation of the attraction will 'save' the straight identity. Recall Cronenberg's movie M Butterfly, as well - plus many other popkult examples.

That's why I always caution CDs who sport the sexy look and then turn passing into a sport.

I think in general for most straight males, the line between themselves and gay and/or cross dressing males is precious thin. One false move and they're phsyco/social/sexual fondation crumbles. This makes 'em uncomfortable an insecure (i.e. fear).

Anyway Marla, I think your cute and not scary at all.

[Calliope]

Anyway Marla, I think your cute and not scary at all.

Oh, Marla's cute, alright.

But her brain is the secret weapon.

[Kate Simmons]

Oh, Marla's cute, alright.

But her brain is the secret weapon.

You got that right Day. Never know what's going on in THIS little head(even though I'm blonde). Be afraid, be very afraid because I can tell when someone is speaking from their heart and when they are trying to blow smoke up my ass.My point is we have to be honest with ourselves and each other if any positive change is to occur. If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for who we really are and not for who people THINK we are.I'm willing to give this a shot. You can't win or lose if you don't even try. Ericka Kay

[Rachel Newark]

[QUOTE=DayTripper;653033]

The song 'Lola' depicts the fear of a straight male momentarily attracted to a TG, then discovering the deception.


Hmm, that's not how I read the song..

"I'm glad I'm a man and so is Lola"

Whilst there is certainly confusion at the begining,

" Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man "

But

"Then I looked at her and she at me
Well that's the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way for my Lola "

Sounds pretty accepting to me :-)


Rachel Newark