How best to tell wife?

[Karren H]

The best way in my opinion (having been caught last year) would be an untracable phone call from halfway around the the globe informing her that the photos laying on top of the winning lottery ticket on the coffee table are of you in a dress.

Emily Ann

We both should have thought of that plan before we fessed up!!!

Love Karren

[ColleenCD]

Leslie,

You know her best, so here are a few suggestions:

Be honest with her and yourself. Two questions to expect are: 1) Are your gay? and 2) Do you want to be a girl? Prepare for these in advance.
If you don't know the answer, then say so, but do offer what you do know.

You said she seems open, so do this in a calm quiet environment without the children where you can talk openly. Present this in a way of discovery and moving forward as opposed to revealing hidden secrets. You are learning about yourself, so this is growth.

This site has a GG Forum which may help her answer questions and share with others in her position.

There are some good books available on Amazon.com for more depth on this subject.

I hope your relationship is strengthened by your honesty with her.

Best wishes,

Colleen

[marie354]

A lot of us have gone through this and you must be honest and up front. I told my SO on the third date. Although she accepted me at that time, she didn't want to see it at all. Over the years she let me go farther and farther, until now when she lets me dress any way I want. It has taken many years to get to this point, but I have taken it slowly... One step at a time.
I've not really been out the door yet, but we do shop together now.
By all means respect her wishes. She DOES expect to have a MAN by her side you know. She may accept it right away, but probably not.
Take it slowly and work at her speed. After all you don't want to lose her.

[Rachel Signy]

"are you gay?" "do you want to be a woman?" - yes that's what my exwife asked me. Repeatedly.
I had just started again (after crossdressing as a teen) and had bought my first item (sandals with 4" heels) when my fiancee found the shoes and asked me whose they were. Whew, I was NOT prepared to deal with that! I told her they were mine and we had a long talk. She had to decide whether to continue with the marriage - this was a big deal for her and the wedding was only a month away.
I wasn't entirely honest with her. I told her the dressing was a fetish thing when I really wanted to be more femme: the former was more acceptable for her. It was a brief marriage (the break-up had very little to do with the dressing) and it was my only relationship with a woman who was thoroughly uncomfortable with the whole thing.
And I wish I'd been more honest all along, both with her and myself.

[Vicky_Scot]

In most cases I have read and in my own case I have found that the dressing is not so much the initial problem but its the feeling of deceit and dishonesty that wives feel more.