I appreciate all of your support. I had hoped for a better ending but I could see from how the counselling was progressing that she was unwilling to work through this.
She said that I would never convince her to be a part of this. I told her I already accepted that and that it was something I would always do on my own. She and the counsellor said that cross dressing is something that cannot be treated like a hobby. The counsellor stated that to many women cross dressing has a much deeper and more negative significance. She said that it takes a very strong woman to deal with something like this, that some women cannot make that leap.
When my wife made this declaration, the thing that struck me most was how matter-of-fact she said, in response to my request to continue to work through this, ... "you just don't get it, being a cross dresser makes you so unattractive to me, you are such a turn off". She cannot get this negative image out of her head - EVEN THOUGH - she has never seen me (or a picture of me) dressed. Her biases against cross dressing are so strong that she won't even try. The is what hurts. To her it is a deal breaker.
At this point the counsellor started talking to me about how I need to move into a new phase of this counselling process to deal with my son and his needs. She said that I should put my cross dressing needs aside for a while....hmmmm.
In any event, she wants to maintain the house and the marital facade until her 81 year old mother passes, as she feels that it would be too hard on her. She wants to tell my son but not until the summer as she feels it would affect his school performance for this year. I have a lot to process. I want to do my best to take the high road and work through the separation peacefully, take care of the interests and needs of my children, protect my interests and get on with my life.
I am not sure how long she and I can maintain this - facade state - she suggests that we should do it until my son is on his own (she figures at least 5 years) though I am not sure if I can put my life on hold for that long. I said to her in counselling that I have spent 10 years trying to reach a resolution on this issue and I am not sure that I am prepared to wait another 5 years to get on with my life.
We will see how this unfolds.
Melissa
