A Question.....

[Sally24]

I too feel that hate is too strong a word so I'll stick with "I don't like...."

I don't like....

When CDs don't try hard enough to look female.

When I feel guilty for dressing in my own home.

When I've made all the plans and preparation, and then get depressed and don't dress at all.

When people reply to a thread with "Oh, not another one asking this question again!" You're not required to read it! Hit "back" and read the next thread. Replying takes enough effort that it proves you are just being a pain in the a** for the fun of it!

Feeling like a show off for posting pictures too much.

And one wierd "I do like"....

I do like the pain of electrolysis! It seems to prove to myself that I'm really not just playing dress-up if I am willing to go thru this pain every other week.


Sally

[Country girl]

Having said that, and knowing about others' lives who have been totally ruined, I do not like other CD/TG/TS or GG's implying that because I am in the Closet, I am being selfish and dishonest, when in fact, although I may be guarding a secret….

[SIZE=3]To clarify: When the SO/spouse/GF/partner already knows and is accepting but you still hide things, like buying stuff, and you still sneak around, that's what I HATE :Angry3: !!! You were honest enough to tell us and we accepted so why the need to still hide and be sneaky? [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]

[Tiffany Tuesday]

Dear Tamara,
I admire your attempts to move the forum forward but you say it is out of boredom? I understand well the exasperation of covering the same old ground time and time again, striving to find new ways of saying the same things. Unfortunately a TG Forum like a TG Magazine is for many but a staging post not a final destination. Like teaching a class at school, each year brings a new eager intake asking the same questions. The teacher must keep the message fresh or drown in tedium. But the questions will always be asked so perhaps the trick is to lead the questionner forward. Q/ What color of panties do i like? A/ Pretty ones that tuck properly and are comfortable! I admire your attempt to move the Forum forward, i believe you do it out of love not boredom. There will always be a new intake and they deserve courtesy until they learn.

To your question:
What is there to hate? If there are things in one's life one hates but cannot change, accept them, manage them, circumvent them, but get on with living otherwise we wallow in self pity. If we can change them, then change them or we remain victims of our own weakness. To hate what one freely chooses to do is self defeating, either the means justifies the end and we must accept the integral parts or the means do not justify the end in which case we must ask why are we doing it in the first place?

Hugz x

[Country girl]

To your question:
What is there to hate? [SIZE=3]If there are things in one's life one hates but cannot change, accept them, manage them, circumvent them, but get on with living otherwise we wallow in self pity.[/SIZE] If we can change them, then change them or we remain victims of our own weakness. To hate what one freely chooses to do is self defeating, either the means justifies the end and we must accept the integral parts or the means do not justify the end in which case we must ask why are we doing it in the first place?

Hugz x

[SIZE=4]Tiffany, what a fantastic answer! It would be so refreshing to see more of the accepting factor and less of the loathing. Thanks for an insightful and thought provoking answer. CG gg[/SIZE]

[Rachel Morley]

Tiffany .... you are "the bomb" girl! Great answer. :D

btw.... for me personally, there is nothing I hate about cding, If I wanted to really say something, I'd say I wish it was more accepted in the mainstream, but I don't actually hate that. Hate is too strong a word.

[Jacqui]

[SIZE=3]To clarify: When the SO/spouse/GF/partner already knows and is accepting but you still hide things, like buying stuff, and you still sneak around, that's what I HATE :Angry3: !!! You were honest enough to tell us and we accepted so why the need to still hide and be sneaky? [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]

If I understand you correctly, I agree that once it's out in the open, then the sneaking around, hiding things, etc. would not only be dishonest, it would be a betrayal of trust.

What I object to is those who equate "keeping a secret" with being "dishonest."

[Niki 4U2 Nite]

Crossdressing made me come to terms with my sexuality. I didn't appreciate men until they appreciated me dressed as a woman. Now I don't need to CD to feel like a woman, I just need a man to appreciate me as one, regardless of what I'm wearing. Believe me though , men are much higher maintenence then just a wardrobe and waxing! He doesn't understand my desires any more than my ex-wife. At least with her, we could always shop the same sales and stores!!

Kiss and Dish,
Luvya, Niki

[Barb Valentine]

I hate not being able to talk about panties
Without annoying someone

[Kitty Sue]

I try not to hate what I do as long as I am not hurting somebody else. Being a CD and being Bi is part of who I am. I would not be me if I were not a bi Cd. So I try to accept who I am. There are so many people out there willing to put me down due to my sexuality etc. that I do not want or need to jump on that band wagon. Definitely an interesting topic T.

[Alice B]

The fear of being caught by someone that would quickly pass judgment and inform others that may be in the same activity circle. For example, my golf buddies and mens club.:mad:

[Sherlyn]

I hated reading 90% of this thread...made me start thinking again about things I thought I had overcome and moved on with... about who I am ...but apparently not ..

[Satrana]

Seems to me there is already plenty of hate in this world that we do not need to add to it. Since we ourselves are often the center of hate then lets be different. As Tiffany said hating is self defeating, it is a dead end alley. Better to acknowledge an issue, learn to deal with it and move on. So I do not hate anything about crossdressing.

[Kelsy]

I hated reading 90% of this thread...made me start thinking again about things I thought I had overcome and moved on with... about who I am ...but apparently not ..

[SIZE="3"]Some of my thoughts exactly Sherlyn !


Jennifer [/SIZE]

[Marcie Sexton]

I hate the hate that is directed towards us...I hate the stigma that is attatched to us as being perverts...need I say more.

...BUT I love life and all that come with it, including Marcie.

[Tamara Croft]

I hated reading 90% of this thread...made me start thinking again about things I thought I had overcome and moved on with... about who I am ...but apparently not ..

I had a feeling that this thread 'may' touch a nerve or two and I'm so sorry for that. But, doesn't facing up to things in your life make you a better person inside? I mean, let's face it, we all have things we dislike, but we either learn to live with them, or we face up to these things and deal with them right?

I hate the fact that my Tam looks good in anything, even a black bin liner... but that's because I'm overweight and I have to try so hard to look even half as good as Tam. I get to the point where I think I'm over it, but then something comes up again and I'm back to feeling this hatred for myself.

Now I see why this question hasn't been asked before, I feel like some of you would rather sweep this under the carpet, than face up to things. I have only one thing to say really, you only get to live once, live your life to the full, be happy, face your fears and stop feeling guilty. Life is too short ya know?

[Wendy me]

you know it's not always easy to look at who we are or not only to see who we are and accept who we are and to be OK with our baggage we carry alone in life some of which we have no choose in carrying some that we have no choose and must be carried and some we need to ....

and fear ??? wtf ???? i walk through life fearing no one ready to stand up for what is right and do as i believe is right .... but this little size 3 ...5 foot 2 inch wife of mine stops me dead in my tracks with her accepting my cding.... something i been thinking abought as of late could it be that this place i am at is were i am comfy with??? for lack of better words ... could her unpportive be my fault ???? could i be the real reason that things don't move forward??? ....

[kittypw GG]

you know it's not always easy to look at who we are or not only to see who we are and accept who we are and to be OK with our baggage we carry alone in life some of which we have no choose in carrying some that we have no choose and must be carried and some we need to ....

and fear ??? wtf ???? i walk through life fearing no one ready to stand up for what is right and do as i believe is right .... but this little size 3 ...5 foot 2 inch wife of mine stops me dead in my tracks with her accepting my cding.... something i been thinking abought as of late could it be that this place i am at is were i am comfy with??? for lack of better words ... could her unpportive be my fault ???? could i be the real reason that things don't move forward??? ....

Yes Wendy I think that a lot of times it is the cd himself that stops things from moving forward or getting to a point of comfort and acceptance. I think Tree hit on a point that most partners of cd's really want to know that things in their life will not change as far as lossing a husband or financial support. Maybe the self doubt, lack of self acceptance and maybe fear of where the cdin'g will go if unleashed is what is stopping your relationship from moving forward and keeping your partner in fear of what is to come in the future. That fear is often interpreted as a hate of crossdressing.

My husband went through the gammet of feelings. I accepted his cd'ing without boundries and he went beyond his wildest dreams with it (pink fog to the 10th degree) he sort of went out of control (even for himself but he was powerless to pull in his own reins) and mixed with the craziness of detoxifying himself from a life time of abusing alcohol and a counselor who pushed him to think that he was a transexual, he got very confused about himself. This was a very very dark time for me but something made me stay. As you know this was so intense for me that I had to distance myself from crossdressing all together for a while. This did not make for a happy relationship. We have been on the brink of divorce several times but are making our way to clarity and harmony.

The more confident my husband becomes and the more clear he is about who he truly is the more calm I feel. When he truly accepts himself and is honest about who he is, the more he can assure me that he will stilll be my husband, the more comfort I feel in our relationship and the less I fear his crossdressing and where it is going and what it means to him. You see there will be no more pulling the rug out from under my feet.

I guess that non acceptance is fear based, even for the cd. Too bad it takes some pain to reach a higher understanding of ourseves but then it makes it more worthwhile. Kitty

[Michelia]

I cannot always control my time and expenditures as much as I would like.

I wish I could go out dressed anytime I wanted without social danger.

I wish I could be more passable. Even my wife wants me to go out dressed with her but I will not. When I look at my pictures from the one time we went out all night together, I cannot believe I went out like that! Now I am so scared. Yet I have invested in shoes and clothes I like. But I will not lose hope.

I hate the beard.

I hate the fact there seems to be little unity and political organization across all breeds of the transgendered. We need to underscore our commonality and not our differences.

Michelia

[AllyM]

Tamara, I appreciate you asking. Thank you

[bgirl]

Two things
1) I don't look the way I feel. I feel so feminine but look so.....male

2) Shaving, in femme or in drag. It takes so long that its already growing back before I am done.

3) (I know I said two things but I was wrong) I can't just walk out the door.

[Wendy me]

Kitty you know what you said is so true ... how can i expect my wife to get comfy with something i do not make her comfy with ?? she has said before she was afraid i would "BECOME A WOMAN" and this being her fear or one of them .... i have some chances to help her along in understanding but did not ... as well as thought when things are right i will step things up .... but real life is not always that right time or place ....

lol now the thing is i can see it's me .... yes me that's the problem here ... i don't have a unsouportive wife ..... she has a CD/husband that failed to get out of that safe comfort zone and be more "AVAILABLE " to help her understand me .....lol .... wonders just how many don't know that it's them holding thing back ..... gawd i hate know it's me .... lol.... got to work on that..... lol.....

[KimberlyS]

I agree with others that have said hate is a strong word. I hate using the word hate also. And we do not let our kids use it as we tell them you dislike, do not care for, or other words ....but I will use it here to stick with the thread.

I hate the influence that society norms have over my life as a CD. Most people in society talk of freedom and being individuals. And in the next breath try to put people in neat little boxes they can understand.

I hate how un-christian and narrow minded christian people and especially pastors can be towards TG people.

I hate the struggle between being me and covering up a part of me to protect myself, my job, and protect my kids and wife from un-needed harassment. But this is my life and I am choosing to live it this way.

I hate that someone that beats their wife, is a drunk, and many others that do terrible things are more accepted by society than someone who just wants to wear clothes of their choice.

I hate the pain it has caused in my marriage and continues to cause.

I hate having to either cover up what I wear, choose carefully what I wear, or stay in out of public when I am wearing something too feminine.

I hate having to put on makeup and wig to cover up my identity just so I can get out at times and not feel like a prisoner in my own home.

I hate other CD/TS/TG people that assume we all want to be girls and want act as girly and feminine as possible.

I hate other CD/TS/TG people that assume we all want to pass as female when we do go out. I want to pass as me, I am a guy that likes to wear more feminine clothing at times.

I hate other CD/TS/TG people that can not accept other people that are different from them, including different types of CDs, TG's, TS's, gays and other types of people, yet scream for acceptance for themselves.

But overall I do love my life, my wife and family.

KimberlyS-CD
Joe in a skirt

[marie354]

I'll add one more..........

I dislike having to break up with the one I love. Or her breaking up with me. (Tough to do when it's "real" love.)

[Butterfly Bill]

I hate how difficult it is to find shoes that are large enough, and I hate it when all the items on the pantyhose rack are "control top". I hate it when all the slips on display have spaghetti straps. That's about all I can think of. Mostly I bloody love it!

[jenny53]

i hate the guilty feeling i get when i buy femmine things knowing my wife would never spend that on herself. i hate feeling like a fool when i can't make myself look femmy enough. i hate hiding all my things for special days. that about covers it