A Question.....

[Tamara Croft]

I'll add a few things that I hate: -

1. I hate the fact that I have to hide a lifestyle from people, just because society has yet to get it through their thick skulls that cd'ing isn't some weird fetish, or perverted etc.

2. I hate the fact CD'ing is blamed for marriage/couples issues, when most of the time CD'ing isn't the problem, the person is just a jerk in general.

3. I hate that fact that just because you're a CD, this does NOT mean you can go having sex with other men, WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED, it ISN'T ok!!!! (oh I've seen a lot of this lately on this board).

4. I hate the fact that the constant lying, keeping secrets, hiding things continues, even though the wife/SO is totally accepting.

You know, being a CD does not make you any different to anyone else, it doesn't give you a free pass to do what you like, to hide things, to keep secrets, to have affairs etc.... It doesn't give you the right to be hurtful, say spiteful things, treat your wife/SO like crap because they aren't accepting.

These are the things I see on a daily basis, these are the things I hate so much, it makes me sick

Sorry if I've ranted, these things aren't projected to any person in particular, just general observations from this board and others.

[Amanduhrob]

The only thing about dressing I really hate is the depression I go into when I don't dress.

I wish my emotional stability didn't center on the need to wear feminine clothes and makeup.

On a lesser note, I hate that women can have beautiful long manicured nails, and I can't:Angry3: , without some serious explaining to the in-laws & coworkers that is.

[arani5879]

Hmmm well I dont like that I haven't told everyone yet but I am working on it. Ok now since It makes me happy I cant really hate it now can I? So on to much more superficial stuff. I hate that my skin is sensative so I cant shave all the time so my skin isn't always smooth. I hate that I still need help with makeup because when I do it it doesn't look as good as when I have help. I hate going to the mall because I have problems leaving the mall empty handed. I hate that the things I like always end up being the most expensive why cant the things I like cost $5? I think thats about it and I dont really hate any of it well excpet the sensative skin part but that is just kinda irritating.

[Bobbie4]

do not like not being honest to myself. Even though I dress I fight it at the end of the day. I am conficted.

[tommi]

I hate that my SO doesn't accept it and thinks horribly of me for doing it.

[kenasbarbie]

I hate that I have to hide in closet when I do it. No one in my friend/family/work circles would accept it if they knew.

[Michelle 51]

Tamara I know that your probaly looking for something deep but all i can say is allthough i'm not happy sometime's about being a cd'er i can't really say that i hate it or the thing's about it.I wish that a lot of thing's were different sometime's but i don't hate it.I try to keep an even balance and not let it control my life. Justabit

[Kristen Kelly]

[SIZE="3"]Excellent question and here is MY HATE list

I hate the way some crossdressers don’t care how they present them selves when they’re in public.

I hate that some crossdressers feel that they can use their dressing as a means of exploring their sexuality, or think that other want to do the same. This is not a sexual thing for me.

I hate the fact that many girls make promises to meet and then at the last minute don’t show and never a call or IM, only when confronted will say something came up.

All the time it takes to shave.

I hate it when crossdressing is referred to as a disease, or when someone asks can it be cured?

I hate the secrecy that goes with crossdressing.

I hate the way society stereotypes crossdressers as being gay - this may the case for some it isn't for everyone.

The way that many Post-OP girls want to have little to do with the community just disappear as they feel they are now women

I hate how difficult it is to find shoes that are large enough in the shoes I love when out shopping.

The labels we put on others and ourselves

That I spent to much time here saying things I dislike without a means to change things.[/SIZE]

[EricaCD]

There is only one part of crossdressing that I actually hate. (Lots and lots of stuff that I dislike, but that's another thread. Really, that's another forum.)

I hate that what I seek to emulate in a woman is equated to my opinion of women. The two could not be more different. The things that Erica likes--looking pretty, shopping, flirting, reading Cosmo, worrying whether a skirt makes me look fat, etc.-- pretty much represent the apex of shallowness and narcissism. Sure, I think about feminine manner, deportment, presentation, etc. But my feminine personality--the part of me that is Erica--is about two millimeters deep.

That's unflattering enough. However, it gets worse if people assume that this is how I *really* think of women - or that my fantasies correspond to the traits I find desirable in women. Most CDs do not seek to hold our fem selves out as role models for women. Still, I know that we manage to offend many by essentially turning ourselves into a crude female caricature. The fact that I inadvertently, but inevitably, create that impression is the only thing I truly hate about crossdressing.

[Dapple]

I don't like to use the word hate, but I really dislike it when someone puts on all his baggage and then trys to cover it up with a dress. Then complain that their SOs or others dislike what they become. Hiding all that "junk in the trunk" behind a set of high heels hurts us all. Most of us put on a dress and are proud of ourselves. Showing your true self to the world without looking for sympathy is like letting a ray of sun shine into a very dark closet. We have to look ahead with a positive outlook and realize that what each of us do by ourself reflects on us all

[Glamourgirl GG]

I hate:

That my husband is different just because of the clothing he is wearing. Why can't he still be emotionally connected to me when he is wearing boxers?

I hate that I try very hard to show him respect with his CD'ing, yet he won't respect my wish for him to stop looking at porn.

I sometimes hate how good he looks while I look like a sea cow at 8 months pregnant. It makes me feel ugly.

I hate not being able to talk to anyone about how I feel because there is no one I can talk to about this secret. It makes me feel isolated.

[Melanie R]

I dislike that most in society believe that there are only two boxes for everyone in the world. You are either in the Female - pink box or you are in the Male - blue box. Society has difficulty with those who cross gender lines.

I dislike that most people do not know the difference between sex and gender. If a man is crossdressed he most be gay and only interested in men.

I dislike that most of the conservative, fundamental religions/denominations have their minds made up that being a crossdresser is immoral and sinful behavior. They do not want to be educated.

I dislike that so many in our TG communities do not attempt to communicate and work together. So frequently TS's do not understand that a crossdresser can be satisfied with crossing gender lines infrequently and do not want to live 24/7.

This list could go on and on but this is enough for now.

I do love being "gender gifted".

[CandyDarling]

I hate not knowing -- really knowing -- why.

me too. god i wish it would stop.

[byrony]

Lets see... I hate the prep work, which a lot of other girls have mentioned...

I hate that it is so hard to cover up my beard shadow.

That I am still uncomfortable with my family and friends knowing.

That even though I am getting better with my dressing, I'm even more self-conscious than when I started; the idea of going out is terrifying right now.

But enough complaining; I love that my s/o is so accepting (we go shopping together, she taught me how to do my makeup, we do each others nails. She really encourages and supports me, and I love her for it.

-Audrey

[clubinc]

ms. Lucille,
where does it say in the Bible about men can not crossdress or men sould not put on women garments. I think it talks about men laying with other men.

[Eva Diva]

No hatin' here. If I had negative feelings like that, I wouldn't do it. I certainly don't hate having to rush around and clean up when I finish - it's just a bother. It's all luv for me!

[Alice Torn]

Clubinc, Deuteronomy 22:5 "A woman shall not wear that which pertains to a man; neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all who do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God." 1 corinthians 14:33-"for God is not the author of confusion." 1 Cor 6:19,20. I realize, that the ten commandments forbid adultery, and I have been taught, that this includes all inidelity, and sex outside of marriage. I would much rather be married to a beautiful wife, than have spent my whole life, a low income, lonely bachelor, though, I go to singles dances. I also know, that God is very merciful, MUST understand some of the insane dynamics, of the crazy times we live in, and personal set-ups. A lot of guys have been set-up, by crazy dynamics, from birth. King David, the man after God's owm heart", stole a man's beautiful wife, and set it up, so the husband would die, in battle! I am not condoning adultery, or other vices, and I am not sure how He will judge each person. Personally, I don't believe, that God, or Jesus, are calling, and holding everyone responsible, now. I think this life, is free, for all, to do as they please. I believe in keeping the ten commandments, with His help, but, I have sinned millions of times, been a fool, too many times too count.Jesus also said, "Condemn not, lest you be condemned, for with the judgment you measure out, the same shall be measured unto you." I have a fear of God, but also, know, that I can confess my sins, look for mercy, and work, to be more tolerant, merciful, to others, unless, there is a person, who is absolutely evil, and violent, etc. Then, tough love, has to kick in. Sorry for the preaching. Crossdressing is surely not the worst thing on earth to do.. I think a lot of it is a void in our lives, unmet needs.

[Kendra Irene]

I, like others, do have some dislikes, but the dressing more than makes up for it.
My only HATE is the expense of maintaining two sets of clothes.

Kendra

[Bernice]

Wow, what a thread. I guess when I was attracted to this thread by Tamara GG’s name, I should have expected a lot of heady philosophy. I empathize and sympathize with much of what has already been said.

I hate that I have hatred and bitterness, and that I seem to have so much to hate. I envy those that have nothing to hate.

I hate that we can put a human on the moon and effectively fight cancer, but we can’t find an affordable safe and effective remedy for unwanted body hair.

I hate the irreversible effects of testosterone.

I hate the way people are so quick to stereotype and pigeon-hole other people on superficial criteria.

I hate that religion teaches people to think that only people identical in every way are worthy of living in peace and harmony. I hate the misguided behavior of Fred Phelps and all his followers.

I hate the perpetuated myth of the duality of gender.

I hate the isolation – that the only people I can openly talk to about crossdressing (with the exception of my loving wife) are too afraid to actually meet me in person.

I hate that a friend who managed to stop crossdressing is now reluctant to remain a friend – because I haven’t managed to stop.

My wife says she accepts this part of me (unenthusiastically but honestly). Still, I hide my dressing from her. She resents the hiding, but she forgets how uncomfortable she clearly was, when I once did not hide my dressing from her. It seems that breast forms and a wig are OK as long as they stay in the closet, but are never hidden? I hate the divisiveness this issue has caused.

I hate (this will seem unrelated, but it really isn’t) that the US two-party political system is all about taking freedoms away from citizens, eliminating choice, blaming scapegoats, and avoiding responsibility. (The democrats want to take away the ability to profit or to make a living or to defend one’s self with firearms– the republicans want to take away the right to harmless personal expression or consensual activity not specifically allowed in the old testament, while allowing big corporations like credit card companies or airlines to inflict wholesale misery without recourse). Why do people hate/ignore/dismiss Libertarians?

I hate that in humans, the quest for power and control over other people’s lives seems so much stronger than the desire to love and learn and accept.

Depressing thread, but hopefully it is worth the effort.

[Danigyrl29]

I hate that I am always seeking perfection.

I hate having the need to pass.

I hate that I can never get a photo to look how I think I look. The mirror always seems to do a better job.

[Khriss]

The only thing about dressing I really hate is the depression I go into when I don't dress.

I wish my emotional stability didn't center on the need to wear feminine clothes and makeup.

On a lesser note, I hate that women can have beautiful long manicured nails, and I can't:Angry3: , without some serious explaining to the in-laws & coworkers that is.

I'm fullfilled in ways...when I dress ..
so when I ca'nt or do'nt.. I feel a kind of regret or want .. that remains ..unresolved...an emptyness..

[Mistybtm]

I hate that I spend an inordinate amount of time on cding and things related to cding that it takes away from my social life and keeps me home all the time.
instead of going out and enjoying life.

[GACountrygal]

Clubinc, Deuteronomy 22:5 "A woman shall not wear that which pertains to a man; neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all who do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God." 1 corinthians 14:33-"for God is not the author of confusion." 1 Cor 6:19,20. I realize, that the ten commandments forbid adultery, and I have been taught, that this includes all inidelity, and sex outside of marriage. I would much rather be married to a beautiful wife, than have spent my whole life, a low income, lonely bachelor, though, I go to singles dances. I also know, that God is very merciful, MUST understand some of the insane dynamics, of the crazy times we live in, and personal set-ups. A lot of guys have been set-up, by crazy dynamics, from birth. King David, the man after God's owm heart", stole a man's beautiful wife, and set it up, so the husband would die, in battle! I am not condoning adultery, or other vices, and I am not sure how He will judge each person. Personally, I don't believe, that God, or Jesus, are calling, and holding everyone responsible, now. I think this life, is free, for all, to do as they please. I believe in keeping the ten commandments, with His help, but, I have sinned millions of times, been a fool, too many times too count.Jesus also said, "Condemn not, lest you be condemned, for with the judgment you measure out, the same shall be measured unto you." I have a fear of God, but also, know, that I can confess my sins, look for mercy, and work, to be more tolerant, merciful, to others, unless, there is a person, who is absolutely evil, and violent, etc. Then, tough love, has to kick in. Sorry for the preaching. Crossdressing is surely not the worst thing on earth to do.. I think a lot of it is a void in our lives, unmet needs.

very very well put Ms Lucille!!!
I feel the same way about it as you do, and your post here helped me clarify a lot of confusion in my mind about religion and view on things (Im recently saved actually).


In keeping with the thread,

I hate having to worry about my so getting caught

I hate the fact my mood is so volitile when he dresses (sometimes terrific, sometimes very bad)

I hate the fact that I cant be a better help sometimes.

I hate my so can walk in heels, when I put on a pair, stand up and fall on my butt!!!

Nic

[Victoria Anne]

I never really thought about it before,that said...I hat that we (cd'rs)are looked upon as sexual deviants,perverts. I hate that I have to hide who I am in fear of violent reprisal from some pathetic bigotry. I hate the confusion that comes with Cding and I supose the guilt,knowing who I am and what I want and being frightened of it,then perhaps its not knowing but rather a certain sence of uncertainty(refering to the depth of my trnsgenderedness)the fear that I may someday find that I am not just TG but TS,NO offense ladies theres nothing wrong with being TS its just I'm uncertain how that would work with my wife who I love dearly.I love who I am and hate that I/we cannot be accepted for who we are rather than judged for what we wear,how we present ourselves.

[jessieblake521]

what i hate hate living different lives i thing I'm up to a bout 4 now. I have the true life with my dearest wife that i cant say enough about who loves me no matter what theirs the life with my kids 18 and 21 thats kind messed up from tying to hide what i am and to be a love father but its hard to sort through the feelings so you fall short. then theirs the work life were you have to be the manly man and I'm in construction. Then try to have friends in male mode which is even harder and then theirs family were do you fit in and it does not end every relation ship is a problem all in it self dressing is easy i love it all it keeps us from true life and joy i wish i was a man or a women being stuck in the middle is tough thanks for letting me vent.
Jessie